It's the Yuletide reveal!
Never Let No One Man Worry Your Mind (5538 words) by cimorene
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Singin' in the Rain (1952)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Cosmo Brown & Don Lockwood, Cosmo Brown/Other(s)
Characters: Cosmo Brown, Don Lockwood
Additional Tags: Queer Gen, Queer History, vaudeville, Chicago, Friendship, Drag Queens, Queer Themes, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Queer Culture

"Cos! Thank God you're alive, I thought my double act was about to become a single," Don said. "Where have you been?"

"In jail," Cosmo whispered back, "Happy birthday."

Don clapped him on the shoulder. "Thanks; you're a little late, but... in where?"

"Keep your voice down," hissed Cosmo, just as a hail of applause blew the curtain back and practically deafened him. "In jail."

I got assigned my all-time favorite movie since childhood again, which is always exciting, and seeing my recipient was interested in Cosmo's roots got me even more excited to research because I've always wanted to know more about vaudeville.

I had a great time learning about it, a very frustrating time trying to learn about queer culture of the time, and went way overboard listening to period music to use (there's a playlist, but that's less than 1/5th of the music I downloaded - I listened to 1900-1930 pop hits for about a month, prompting [personal profile] waxjism and [personal profile] perhael to worriedly tell me to relax, 50 tracks is enough!! etc several times).

I've always shipped OT3 (and written it), and it was almost an accident that I arrived at the decision to write their love as brotherly here (but still very much the center of the story), but once I decided it went surprisingly smoothly.
For Yuletide I wrote The Social Network.

Doing It Right for zephyrprince. Eduardo Saverin/Mark Zuckerberg, explicit, ≈4k. An est-rel missing scene from early in the movie.
It's actually a subject of some curiosity for Mark whether Wardo really likes that many people that much, or if somewhere under the dense shell of affability and social conditioning there's a tiny core of judgmental superiority. Not because Wardo's ever given any sign of it, and Mark's done some judicious digging when Wardo was at his most inebriated - it's just that, well, he also likes Mark.

Really, he obviously does. It's not like Wardo gets anything else in particular out of their friendship, not anything he couldn't get from anyone else. He's better at algorithms than Mark is, and he's not even studying programming. Wardo is wealthier, taller, more fashionable, more social, and more conventionally attractive. Mark is marginally stronger and also better at fencing, but Wardo shows no signs of being a fencing fetishist, and it's not like he needs Mark to carry his books for him. It's usually Wardo who ends up carrying Mark's things that he forgets to take with him.

I added The Social Network to my Yuletide offers almost as an afterthought, as I was trying to offer everything I was confident I could write, and had been following the output of this small fandom since I saw the movie. I didn't give much thought to actually getting the assignment in advance and mistakenly thought that it would be easy, because I had a million half-realized fixit fics floating in the back of my head. Little did I know that my recipient would want a missing scene from early in the movie's timeline with romance and sex, a possibility I never gave any serious thought to. I spent most of the time just trying to decide how to write it to my satisfaction. Watching the movie, my initial interpretation was that the root of the conflict is that they're mutually in love and both in denial, and the breakup wouldn't've ever happened if they'd just started dating. But what I tried to do was posit a situation where they aren't in denial, but it's insecurity that leads to the divorce instead. Since Eduardo's insecurity re Mark's feelings is effortlessly imaginable, I went with Mark's POV and tried to construct a foundation for Mark's insecurity re Eduardo's (but couched in a cosy scene of banter, college sex, and snuggling). I'm not 100% satisfied with it, but I did have a lot of fun writing it.

Which brings me to my next set of yuletide recs - the Social Network ones.

Throw Your Back Into It, by jibrailis. Mark/Eduardo, E, ≈4.5k, post-canon. Humor, crack, amazing ♥. Sex is not the enemy. Except when it is. The one where Mark is a slut, Eduardo has performance anxiety, and there are cross-country booty calls.
But meeting Mark's needy demands in bed also hurts Eduardo's back.

And his thighs. And his cock.

Mark hurts Eduardo's cock.

This...really should not be as surprising as it is.

Delays in Communicating, by BlackEyed Girl. Mark/Eduardo, T, ≈3k, post-canon. Eduardo and Mark are both great at communicating. Just, lately, not with each other. They start sending messages without ever getting around to talking. Chris and Dustin watch and wait.
“What happened? Look, turn on your computer and tell me if the quote’s accurate.”

Chris fires up his laptop and finds the first report, on the gossipy end of the tech blog. “Why are you asking? You don’t think it sounds like Eduardo?”

“No, I think it sounds exactly like the kind of defensive shit Eduardo always came out with when someone tried to call Mark out.”

The Ghost at the Back of Your Closet, by Sandrine Shaw. Mark/Eduardo, T, ≈4k, post-canon. Watching the movie leads Mark to question the nature of his and Eduardo's relationship after the fact.
Worse yet, the movie makes it all – the ups and downs of Mark's friendship with Eduardo – sound like a tragic love story with an unhappy ending, which it wasn't.

It wasn't a love story.

Was it?
The last ones before the reveal!

Brandon Flowers - Crossfire (music video)/RPF. Four Ways Brandon Flowers Never Met Charlize Theron (With Ninjas). Brandon Flowers, a bit of Charlize Theron, crack, and a fair helping of ninjas! No knowledge of the video is necessary, but you probably should know a wee bit about Brandon Flowers. So there he is, that Monday, minding his own business, when all of a sudden: ninjas!

Love Actually. Feel It In Your Fingers (Five Questions on the Nature of Love). Various gen, het & slash, G. What’s the big deal with love? It’s like wishing for indigestion. Or really bad gas. For yourself instead of your principal.

Temeraire - Novik/P&P - Austen. Lieutenant Bennet's Visit. Gen. While he and Jane monopolized one another, Mr. Darcy and Papa continued their conversation on the war and its progress, and what might be Napoleon might do next. Elizabeth sat with her mother and clenched her teeth, for she knew far more about it than either of them, but could not risk exposing her knowledge, for that might lead to discovering its source.

Tennis RPF. The Match of the Century. Roger Federer/Rafael Nadal, M, novella. A fairly epic movie star AU that became nail-bitingly tense and almost made me cry! Classic, classic angsty romance. Good times.

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Alive and Well and Living in Paris. Rosencrantz/Guildenstern. From the title and lead-in I expected some cracky fixit, which is the exact opposite of what this story is. Actually it's an unflinching pastiche that ties the crack fixit premise back into the complex themes and meta of canon, an extension, if you will, of RAGAD's meditation on characters and canon out into the realm of fanfiction, and what canon means for it. It was a little shocking to expect something light and get that, though.
Calvin & Hobbes. This Kid I Once Knew. Susie, gen. Daniel sends their whole improv group an e-mail saying "check this out its fun1!1" and a link to a web comic called The Adventures of Spaceman Spiff.

Live Free or Die Hard. The Day is Saved. Lucy, gen. “Hey, sweetie, wanna learn how to do something cool?”Lucy wouldn’t learn to hate her father until thirteen or fourteen. At ten, she was blissfully convinced that Daddy was the best, funniest, strongest, bravest man in the world, and that he loved her best of everyone. So she put her copy of The BFG down and said, “Okay, Daddy!” And that’s how Lucy learned to field strip and reassemble a Glock 19 service weapon while blindfolded.

Discworld. Perforations. Vetinari & Drumknott, Going Postal missing scene, gen. Drumknott thinks the world chiefly needs fileboxes which are not so flimsy. Vetinari thinks about this and tries out some new ideas.

Sleeping Beauty. And Smite the Sleeping World Awake. Aurora/Maleficent. “I’m a hundred years older than you,” she says, and pats him on the hand as it fidgets with his hilt. “I expect you should find someone your own age.”

Anthropomorfic. if [ $FLAMEWAR ]; then make love; fi. Linux/Windows. Windows hated Linux with a passion.

Old Spice Guy/Beowulf. Gamol-Léac. Gen. After Beowulf's death, the men of Geatland meet a strange and powerful warrior. IN EPIC POEM FORM SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY
This Town We're Painting. St Trinians (/BBC Sherlock crossover), Annabelle/Kelly, T, ≈7k. Kelly's the second assistant to the man who secretly is the British government; Annabelle is her girlfriend. Other cast members make awesome cameos, as does Anthea.

Marriage Vows. Jane Austen - Mansfield Park, canon pairings, Julia Bertram, G, ≈10k. The events leading up to Maria and Julia's elopements, as seen from Julia's point of view. Engaging and sympathetic!

The One Where Matt Farrell Is Most Certainly Not Sleeping With John McClane (not even a little). Live Free or Die Hard, Matt Farrell/John McClane, M, ≈3k. Post-movie FBI-fic, bonus Kevin Smith, adventure! “Life is not a wet dream, Frederick. It’s not even a B movie. Guys like McClane don’t fuck guys like me. Ever.”

The Knight of the Cross. Gawain and the Green Knight, Arthurian, F/M, G, ≈ 19.5k. A long, textured, engrossing prose novella of the tale.
Finished reading Yuletide and mildly bummed in a what-will-I-read-now sorta way. ;_; Here are some recs.

Vorkosigan Saga, Gregor/Miles

1. My Yuletide gift ♥! This is probably the fandom I was hoping for most on my signup, but expecting least. I didn't know what to expect, but the story surprised me utterly in the most charming of ways! Est-rel, earlyish in canon and non-AU, Gregor all dry and restrained and Gregor-ish which is what I love, exchanges of witty dialogue, and diplomacy! Evading Ambassadors: An Emperor's Guide. T. 1299 words.

“Miles. When I sat down to breakfast two days ago, we weren’t at war with anyone. Please tell me that’s still true.” He wasn’t sure how much of that statement was in jest.

Miles looked mildly offended, but a slight grin was playing around his lips. “Give me some credit, Gregor ...” I always do. “... if I was going to start a war I’d at least make sure someone else looked like they’d started it.”

2. Another fic in the same pairing for somebody else! Frabjous day! This one's a late-canon slight AU (ie no spouses), first-time, adventure, also the requisite funny dialogue, lots of fun. light from a lonely window. T. 6614 words.

"Why isn't he saying anything?"

"Give him time," another voice says; and this voice he recognizes, too. He looks where his mother is looking, and finds Raven Durona standing over him, hands on his hips, his mouth crumpled into an unbecoming frown. "Let him figure out where he is."

"When he was decanted," the Countess his mother says, "he looked around, clapped his hands together, and asked where his breakfast was. Why does he need time now?"

Old Spice Guy

1. Texts From Your Shower. Old Spice Guy-Texts From Last Night, 686 words, T.

Hello, Ladies.
Good night (1 bajillion) Bad night (0)

2.Smell Like a Yeti (or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Old Spice). 1502 words, G.

“Please give the orphan children my apologies that I was unable to perform my ab xylophone recital for them. And if I'm not back by tonight, let the local wolf pack know that they'll need to accept my rain check to go hunting with them. Swan dive!” And with that, he executed a perfect dive out the nearest window into the cockpit of his personal supersonic jet. He put on his helmet and buckled up, first, of course. Being awesome is no excuse for ignoring safety regulations.

3.Meta Yuletide Fic (The Fic You Wish Your Fic Smelled Like). 2367 words, G.

And yes, Yuletiders, this is one of the best fics. After all, I wrote it with a quill made from a rare bird with feathers made of gold which I plucked while writing a treat for you.

(Surprise Care Bear BDSM Orgy!)

Disney Princess Superheroes

1. you're gonna leave them all behind. 1788 words, G.

Time Magazine 12/20/10
WOMEN OF THE YEAR, by Alice Liddell.

I arranged to meet the women of the Alliance for lunch at noon on Wednesday, but at ten the kraken was loose outside Seattle and at eleven-thirty there was the typhoon off Malaysia...

2. Just Another Day in the Secret Base. 2798 words, G.

"There, you see? It's complicated, Water Sprite, and what I'm saying is, you have absolutely no idea what it's like to be a superhero of colour."

"But I'm green." The Water Sprite looked down at the back of her own hand.

"You're not human, you're part of an aquatic species where green skin is a mark of high status, so it doesn't count!" said The Belle in exasperation.

"Racist," said the Water Sprite with another offended column of bubbles.

"Item one for the next council meeting: diversity training for everyone on staff and especially the Water Sprite," said Cinder Woman. "Make a note of that, will you, Belle?"

3. A League of Their Own. 3092 words, G.

“Whether or not the Grand Duchess of Marshovia has any abilities, skills, or other changes resulting from today’s attack is a question better saved for her. You may ask her when she is fully recovered,” Jasmine said.

“I don’t know whether the Grand Duchess plans to petition the Princess Superheroines for membership,” Belle said. “If she makes such a request, we will of course take it under advisement and evaluate her potential with our organization. It’s too early to speculate at this time.”

“No, this was not a standard sleeping enchantment,” Jasmine said. “We did not call on the Grand Duke to break it with true love’s first kiss because they had their first kiss many years ago—as is proved by their three children.”
Doing them out of order meant that I lost track of them! I haven't included any recs for Kris Allen/Adam Lambert, Hot Fuzz, or NCIS:LA, all of which were also present and all of which I read, because they were present in somewhat larger quantities, and aren't really as rare and literary as the typical Yuletide-feeling fandoms to me. So I've filled in this set with just a few recs from H/D Holidays and HP Yule Balls.

  1. There's No I in Team by [personal profile] thefourthvine. Sports Night, Casey/Dan. A deeply hilarious story with a brilliant antagonist who comes bearing motivational slogans.

  2. Temperate Self-Governance, by speakmefair. A Knight's Tale, post-canon, Chaucer/Wat established relationship, adventure. This is Wat's POV and fun, touching, funny, and very well-written sort of adventure story, that actually has a plot. A GREAT plot. Chaucer gets called into service as a spy for John of Gaunt, and Wat, advised by a well-meaning Will, gives in to his duty to help out, whether Chaucer wants him to or not. Which necessitates a bit of a quest in the company of Adhemar, ahahhaha. And in spite of the est.rel., this story has a new-relationship uncertainty to it that makes for a definite sub-plot of romance.

  3. A Hogmanay Carol. HP, Minerva McGonagall/Rolanda Hooch. This is a lovely intimate portrait of McGonagall and her grumpy temper, holiday traditions, favorite literature, and her suppressed sexual attraction to Madame Hooch. Brilliantly-characterized and perfectly executed.

  4. The Invisible Wall. George Weasley/Lee Jordan, accidental voyeurism, Harry, Ron, Seamus, Dean. A prank gone awry traps these four, forced to witness a completely unexpected sex scene between George and Lee. The humorous and traumatized commentary is funny, and at the same time the George/Lee, porny as it is, is really touching and very romantic; in fact, it made me say OF COURSE, and start shipping it, and go looking for more, but I didn't find anything else I liked quite as much as this one.

  5. Secretary Tuesdays, or: Things Unspoken. Harry/Draco, Portrait Snape, future (Auror) fic, EWE. Unlike typical Aurorfic, this one is a light-hearted comedy of manners/adventure. The post of Harry's secretary is cursed and he's been getting a new one every week... until Draco Malfoy takes the post. Lots of great little moments, not least due to the presence of Portrait Snape over the secretary's desk making caustic comments.
Hey, last batch of Yuletide recs! These are genuinely miscellaneous in nature.

  1. If Headaches Persist, Shoot Your Agent. James Bond movies, M, Bond/M UST. M wasn't yet sure what had prompted this latest trick of arriving precisely late enough for it to be obvious he was doing it deliberately, but not so much that he couldn't claim any number of innocent reasons, such as an overcrowded lift, or heavy traffic, but she could have set her watch by the man. If she'd wanted a perpetually late watch, that is. Awesome!

  2. The General in His Labyrinth. Temeraire - Naomi Novik. Wellington, Roland/Wellington, UST. The first time Wellington heard Jane Roland laugh, his mouth went dry with yearning. Bittersweet and very well-written.

  3. Spice Up Your Life With George and Brad. Actor RPF, gen. Entertainment Monthly sits down with George Clooney and Brad Pitt to talk about pranks on set, making serious movies, and polygamous compounds. (No, really!) AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.

  4. A Matter of Convenience. Merlin RPF, Bradley James/Colin Morgan. Getting a flat together was one thing. Getting a puppy was quite another. Pretty adorable.

  5. Where We're Going, and How To Get Back. American Idol RPF, Simon Cowell/Ryan Seacrest, Ryan POV. Ellen matchmaking, which I can see is probably about to become a new trope in Ryan/Simon, and Ryan being rather clueless and Simon both a realistic asshole and kind of sweet. This is really a very good story.


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