walk right through me

dammit, lj. stop eating my posts.

mother is psycho bitch who insists on making promises, then conveniently forgetting. example, in july we had a conversation about my student loans that went something like

me: i'm having a nervous breakdown and i suck so much that i can't even make myself get a job to pay this student loan.
mom: absolutely don't worry about the student loans as long as you are doing this for us. we need to pay you for house-sitting really but we're not doing that. just don't worry about getting a job yet. you ARE good. you ARE helping.

then today, something like

me: but i need the computer because i was in the middle of a specific porn story--
mom: are you trying to make lillian get off the computer? oh, no. you don't even have a job.
me: keep the fucking computer. i'll watch tv. and remember this the next time you wonder why i'm not being nice to you.
mom: remeber you're the one who asked me to pay her student loan payment.
me: what the fuck. i asked you about getting a job this summer because i couldn't afford these and you said--
mom: that you needed to get one.
me: --NOT TO WORRY ABOUT IT.

rf, i once offered you a cigar.

i'm tired and distressed and had to see people i don't like at church today, and my nose itches. i was in such a good mood earlier, eating takeout chinese in the front yard with daddy and my pet gay boys. but on the plus side, dementordelta has written another nice new story.

unfortunate typo + bad writing = ::brainspork::

A life without him is a life I dare not even attempt to contemplate, it would be worthwhile, empty, unimportant. But I cannot tell him.

::brainspork::

ugh badfic alert

i just spent more than an hour reading this? trainwreck variety. not the good kind of bad, but still you can't look away!

(no subject)

my little sister is like a blood-sucking, slimy little leech. AND she talks all the time.

(no subject)

i've been so, so sleepy lately. all the time! i can't stop sleeping.