terror of the real world

[cimorene]

i think i may force myself to write original fic next. when i get home this summer. just sit down and do it. let it suck if it must. submit it somewhere. my daddy will be there to pat my head. once i take the step once it can never be as hard again, correct? hm. *worryworry* but, ok. i have no motivation for anything but writing, and maybe it scares the shit out of me, but i obviously need to try it. i have this evil little part of me that argues quite eloquently (even without the assistance of my scrumptious) that i don't WANT to write anything but fanfic and how can you write what you don't want? but obviously, i CAN write it, and not wanting to is the barrier. the solution, obviously, is to want to. i think i'm headed in that direction. if i can manage it. yes.

i'm going out to see little not-cousin in oliver with tne contradance not-aunt in two hours, so i really need to eat dinner and get dressed. there's also the possibility of dancing later on, though i feel a bit bleary still from my excessive quantities of sleep. and winamp's being a bitch. *sigh*