So much of the theorizing about slash then becomes about explaining the "problem" of so many women, many of them identify as heterosexual, producing these fantasies about male/male relationships.

yeah, that irritates me too. if it WERE a real problem--it isn't, and i find the suggestion rather offensive--i don't think what those particular people do with their theories would be remotely productive, not even towards adequately explaining it, let alone doing anything.

and this:

If you're not invested in that idea of gender identity as something essential and stable, ... then the fact that we're a bunch of ladies getting off on stories about male/male relationships... doesn't seem so problematic.

is an excellent point. :)