I think the main problem with the sheer hopefulness of that is that, as far as we know slash fandom = mostly women and some gay men. Again, as far as we know, women may *always* have been able to identify with/understand men not as aliens but as fellow human beings. My main quibble is that none of this proves that straight men have become any better at identifying with/understanding women.

The ancient greek homosocial ethic was a male one. The fandom homosocial ethic is a female one. It may be that the difference in them is precisely the difference between male and female: we understand them and accept them as human, they don't understand us, or accept us as entirely human at all.

Damn, I didn't mean to be that depressing!