Ahhhhhhh, now I get it! And yes, I totally agree - I feel that way myself, sometimes. I think this has a lot to do with why many women, even women who are a) het and b) not into slash (or not into romance at all) prefer male protagonists sometimes. Personally, I find this almost always the case in visual media (although again, books are a different story). I don't have problems identifying with, for example, Andy or Miranda in most of the Devil Wears Prada fanfiction that I've read, while I do think of DWP-the-movie as a kind of feminist manifesto, it's much harder to identify with Andy of the movie if you try to take it at face value, and I think that has a lot to do with her relationship to gender role even though the movie is actually about her negotiation of being a professional woman. Man, gender roles really piss me off. I struggle with this issue a lot when I think about slash because, in my actual book-reading, I overwhelmingly read about female characters, and that's a striking difference from the huge # of males in slash.