I wish I had advice for this situation. In the end, a lot of these well meaning people in my own life decided that I am just overly negative/live to complain, and stopped discussing things with me at all. I try, now, to be more polite about it, more welcoming or neutral, using the kinds of techniques people recommend for con-crit (compliment sandwiches, etc), but... Man, I dunno. Basically, you have my deepest sympathies.