sleeping and not

[cimorene]

you know, it was a lot easier to get to sleep when i was

a) depressed and
b) not depressed because i was on paxil.

you see that my downfall, here, is being pretty good regardless of the medication i take.  where "pretty good" refers to depression and not ability to get to sleep.  :facepalm:  i go to bed by midnight.  i toss! i turn!  i'm awake past two.  i try to read myself to sleep.  my brain can keep reading indefinitely.  oh noes! it's three!  i read until i'm actually tired--then am so exhausted that i take a nap the next afternoon... and am wide awake PAST three. 

OTOH today despite staying up late i seem to be relatively alert.  maybe napping is the solution after all. 

except it really, really sucks to be lying in bed so bored that you deeply contemplate no less than four stories in three different fandoms, flirt with your original sf universe and even ponder your future in academia and the field of sociology.

Comments

[lakesrith.livejournal.com]

You know what... you've described my symptoms exactly! I think it's insomnia. Sometimes I can't fall asleep until 5 am only to get up at 8 am for school. I am really wondering what's wrong with me, I've tried everything except taking sleeping pills (too scared to take them).

I search for the latest fanfics in my fandom until my eyelids droop just to keep me from tossing and tuning in bed. Nothing seems to work...

[cimness.livejournal.com]

i don't think sleeping pills will harm you if you don't ever let yourself take more than the normal dosage. whether they'll work is maybe questionable but i hear the most likely result is you'll get a horrible sleep hangover, be impossible to wake up. i don't want to take them for that reason. i have enough trouble waking up most of the time.

i didn't have this problem right when i went off the paxil either. but i don't really have insomnia. and i never have. i used to lie awake thinking and planning when my anxiety was at its worst; now i lie awake thinking about writing. i think about writing when i'm awake too. it's like paxil was killing my sex drive except it's a writing drive. and it was being saved up. or maybe this is going to be its default state. or maybe it only wasn't before because i was depressed. whatever it is... it's still a *good* thing. i'm not willing to give up the writing to fix it.