Daniel Jackson's a Ninja

[cimorene]

I didn't think I'd ever need wip amnesty, but I was journalcleaning and came across this fragment of a story where Daniel Jackson turns out to be a ninja that I started writing for southpaw526 four years ago. It's been quite a long time so I'm fairly confident now that I'm never going to finish it. I can't even remember what I planned to do with it. Anyway, it was never posted publically, so. Bear in mind a few things: a) this is first draft and b) this was written four years ago. A few hundred words only:
ninja!daniel

this didn't look good.

the stargate opened inside a big room that was pretty empty, but there was a guy standing in the door who didn't seem happy to see them. he was yelling at the top of his lungs, sounding pretty scared, and waving around two curved swords. and there was the sound of running feet in the hallway.

'oh, boy,' said jack. the more he looked at this guy's fifty pounds of fish-scale metal armor and his silly hat, the more he was sure the guy was a samurai. which meant the guys in the hall were probably also samurais. which meant that they would probably also have swords.

'oh, boy,' said daniel, and stepped forward. and yelled something in japanese. (at least jack assumed it was japanese.)

he was walking pretty fast towards the samurai guard, for a guy without a sword walking up to a very nervous guy who's waving two swords around. 'daniel!' jack hissed, but daniel, of course, ignored him.

'sumimasen,' he said, and started talking really fast, and jack didn't get anything after that.

but when two more samurais skidded into the room holding a big stick and a big sword, samurai #1 had calmed down a lot. he had put away his sword after making a funny salute with it, had bowed quickly and deeply, and was now standing with his hands clenched at his sides, nodding sharply every coupla seconds like he was at a mission briefing.

he bowed again and talked to the two other samurais. jack tapped daniel on the shoulder, raised his eyebrows, and jerked his chin. 'oh, sorry, jack. uh.' he blinked. 'this is mishima--and this is toshiya--and this is minamoto. they're followers of the Way.'

jack glared.

daniel sighed. 'samurai.'

daniel performed some quick introductions in japanese with a minimum of stuttering and 'uh's, at the end of which all three samurais were bowing respectfully to jack. they chittered with daniel like a couple of chipmunks and led the way down the hall.

jack nodded at sam and teal'c to follow along after daniel raised his eyebrows as much to say 'what's the holdup?', without stopping talking in japanese the whole time. of course once they were in the hall daniel ignored them. in fact, he was talking to samurai #2 after a few seconds like his long-lost brother. pretty soon he was making emphatic hand-gestures, and by the time they made it to the end of the hall he was holding the staff (they had to stop in the hallway so the guy could bow when he handed it over), examining every inch like it had a variant of ancient egyptian printed on it very small.

'sir?' said carter, when they stood in front of a pair of double doors.

'yeah?' jack whispered.

'what exactly is going on?'

'well, carter,' said jack, 'if i knew that, believe me, you would already know. it seems like daniel is the only one who knows, and he's apparently too busy to tell us.'

samurai #1 opened the door and bowed, samurai #3 stepped through in front of them and bowed, and samurai #2 motioned them in front of him, asked them something in japanese, and bowed.

'yeah.' said jack, smiling at samurai #2. 'thanks.' the room beyond had a floor made out of some of the widest, darkest planks of wood jack had ever seen. everything was once again relatively empty, but the walls looked like about a million bucks apiece in paper windows, some kind of woven grass curtains, and giant embroidered silk hangings.

'but sir,' said carter, 'these people are armed, and while they're apparently friendly right now we have no idea what their intentions are. sir, daniel's an excellent linguist but--'

'carter,' said jack. 'do you speak japanese?'

'well, sir, i took a short course in college, but i'm afraid i never got past chapter ten in the textbook and i seem to have--'

'no. then we'll just have to wait for daniel to explain. and believe me, as soon as i can get a word in edgewise, we will be getting that explanation.'

'yes, sir.'

they followed samurai #3's rendition of Interstellar Sign Language for 'please, honored guests, stand right here--no, no, there--and don't touch anything.'

jack wished he knew japanese for 'excuse me, could we stand somewhere with a solid wall?', but the guy was already looking away. daniel was in the middle of the room and had traded the staff for a sword, which he was balancing on one hand, staring at the end of it.

'daniel,' jack called, 'could you please try to keep us--'

there was a whistling sound, and a small metal star-shaped thing with very sharp edges flew across the room out of nowhere and embedded itself in pillar next to jack's head.

'down!' he shouted, grabbing for his gun. there was another whistle, a shout--daniel!--and a loud clang. he looked up just in time to see daniel standing in the middle of the room with a throwing star on the floor near him, holding samurai #1's sword like he knew how to use it

which he proved in the next instant, because another one of the things came in--through the window, jack saw--and daniel did a kinda ballet jump, swung the sword, and intercepted it. it clattered to the floor and daniel rolled and came gracefully up on his knees while samurai #3 and samurai #2 were out the door, samurai #1 shouting out the window.

daniel followed samurai #1 to the window and was already pointing by the time jack had scrambled to his feet and was looking after them. there was a guy out there on the ground who'd clearly just jumped down from a kind of turret thing opposite, because right now he was too low down for throwing. and he was making for his horse.

jack started to draw his gun.

'sir!' said carter.

too late. daniel had finished trying to get the bozos around him to do what he wanted and had decided that if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. he pulled the shorter sword out of the sheath on samurai #1's back, held it up in his hand, and threw it.

and it sailed right across the courtyard and embedded itself in the guy's back.

silence.

samurai #1 gasped something and bowed.

daniel bowed back, with his head held in a very suspiciously japanese-looking way and his hand straight by his sides.

'daniel?' said jack. 'can i talk to you for a minute?'