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food worries and femmeslash
feel unpleasantly full. like i may throw up. like my balance is off. the thing is that i've only eaten a sticky roll, two cookies, half a bowl of salad (vegetables only), and a bowl of red beans and rice all day long. the b&r had no meat whatsoever. and my stomach is complaining away.
i may or may not weigh in the immediate vicinity of 100lb. i find this vastly disturbing. i HAVE to eat, dammit, but i can't stand to feel like this every time i do it.
am on p.5 of she-ra femmeslash, woohoo. You hear her footfall in the door and you feel it at the bottom of your jaw, a rush of adrenaline and nerves and cautious darts arrowing through your gut, centering like an opening flower between your legs, hot, ripe and full.
usually i find writing smut a curiously dissociated experience. fantasy, a lotrrps, was the exception to that--and the title says it all. emerged from a rather sweaty dream. this one--didn't, but the images keep washing over me like this and i have to grit my teeth. have been at their mercy all day long. there's no sign of them going away. kk, i took your advice. and oh.
you'd think smut-writing would purge hormones, but this isn't the case.
huh.
i may or may not weigh in the immediate vicinity of 100lb. i find this vastly disturbing. i HAVE to eat, dammit, but i can't stand to feel like this every time i do it.
am on p.5 of she-ra femmeslash, woohoo. You hear her footfall in the door and you feel it at the bottom of your jaw, a rush of adrenaline and nerves and cautious darts arrowing through your gut, centering like an opening flower between your legs, hot, ripe and full.
usually i find writing smut a curiously dissociated experience. fantasy, a lotrrps, was the exception to that--and the title says it all. emerged from a rather sweaty dream. this one--didn't, but the images keep washing over me like this and i have to grit my teeth. have been at their mercy all day long. there's no sign of them going away. kk, i took your advice. and oh.
you'd think smut-writing would purge hormones, but this isn't the case.
huh.
yeah, you're right, it doesn't purge hormones
blargh
(Anonymous) 2002-03-17 07:24 pm (UTC)(link)part two: also just finished a run of a play, which meant that i was pretty much running on three hours of sleep a night, plus aforementioned Death Flu resulting in complete inability to choke down nutrients. am so, so, *so* unhealthy.
so here i am, drooling vacantly in front of my computer, and the whole point of this was to explain why i have not returned any emails (oh wait, yours are the only ones i ever return ANYWAY, aha ha ha ha...oh god, i am such a bum) or, for that matter, any phone messages, including an extremely important one that i have been waiting for FOREVER and finally got on tuesday, and then as soon as i got it i just sort of went "agh behhh!" and hung up and hid in the corner, so it is still hiding there on my machine, desperately screaming out to be answered. agh, agh, tangents!
GO EAT NOW, regardless of what your stomach says, because your stomach is clearly conspiring against you in hopes that your brain will decay from lack of food and IT can take over the neurological functions, etc. if you faint again and smack your head on a bedpost/sink/the floor i will blame myself.
--ravey
Re: blargh
:(