girlfriends and labels

[cimorene]

you know what? i hate the word girlfriend. i just do. it has several associations for me, none of them good:

1. a pair of thirteen-year-olds, one girl and one boy. possibly in black and white, possibly exchanging a daisy chain or a plastic ring.
2. when you're in kindergarten and you 'marry' your 'boyfriend' using a toy plastic ring with another little kid officiating.
3. a gay man saying 'girlfriend' in that little voice.
4. a sorority girl. 'me and a couple of my girlfriends are going to the beach for a week.'

it doesn't convey the proper concept. what then? to say 'we're dating'? or 'cim's special friend'? 'significant other'? 'life partner'? the bottom line is that labels are odious when you've already got an idea of what you are, and then someone comes along later wanting to apply a label to it. labels are congenial only when you're familiar with them before you identify with them, and thus don't have conflicting clusters of associations for yourself and the word.

possibly labels are always odious, period, since they tend to have unpleasant effects.

but dad has kept saying to people 'cim's friend' all the time wax was here, dictating letters mostly but also out loud, and i just want to kick him in the nuts (which he wouldn't feel since he has no feeling below the nipples, but still). wtf is 'cim's friend'? she's not my fucking friend, you fucking twat. for one thing, i'm not ashamed, so why use a totally ambiguous word like that? for another thing, it sounds condescending.

Comments

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

I like to say "____'s person," which is also ambiguous (i have several people i consider "my people" but not in a sexual way) but also seems, to me, both more mature and also slightly clearer in terms of at least an important relationship.


or not. but yeah.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

see, it carries a more satisfying personal significance to you, like just saying plain 'wax' does to me, because nothing but her name conveys to me all that she means to me. but it doesn't satisfy saying it to other people.

what about 'my better half'? which has the added benefit of being a bit funny. which IMO is always preferable.