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girlfriends and labels
you know what? i hate the word girlfriend. i just do. it has several associations for me, none of them good:
1. a pair of thirteen-year-olds, one girl and one boy. possibly in black and white, possibly exchanging a daisy chain or a plastic ring.
2. when you're in kindergarten and you 'marry' your 'boyfriend' using a toy plastic ring with another little kid officiating.
3. a gay man saying 'girlfriend' in that little voice.
4. a sorority girl. 'me and a couple of my girlfriends are going to the beach for a week.'
it doesn't convey the proper concept. what then? to say 'we're dating'? or 'cim's special friend'? 'significant other'? 'life partner'? the bottom line is that labels are odious when you've already got an idea of what you are, and then someone comes along later wanting to apply a label to it. labels are congenial only when you're familiar with them before you identify with them, and thus don't have conflicting clusters of associations for yourself and the word.
possibly labels are always odious, period, since they tend to have unpleasant effects.
but dad has kept saying to people 'cim's friend' all the time wax was here, dictating letters mostly but also out loud, and i just want to kick him in the nuts (which he wouldn't feel since he has no feeling below the nipples, but still). wtf is 'cim's friend'? she's not my fucking friend, you fucking twat. for one thing, i'm not ashamed, so why use a totally ambiguous word like that? for another thing, it sounds condescending.
1. a pair of thirteen-year-olds, one girl and one boy. possibly in black and white, possibly exchanging a daisy chain or a plastic ring.
2. when you're in kindergarten and you 'marry' your 'boyfriend' using a toy plastic ring with another little kid officiating.
3. a gay man saying 'girlfriend' in that little voice.
4. a sorority girl. 'me and a couple of my girlfriends are going to the beach for a week.'
it doesn't convey the proper concept. what then? to say 'we're dating'? or 'cim's special friend'? 'significant other'? 'life partner'? the bottom line is that labels are odious when you've already got an idea of what you are, and then someone comes along later wanting to apply a label to it. labels are congenial only when you're familiar with them before you identify with them, and thus don't have conflicting clusters of associations for yourself and the word.
possibly labels are always odious, period, since they tend to have unpleasant effects.
but dad has kept saying to people 'cim's friend' all the time wax was here, dictating letters mostly but also out loud, and i just want to kick him in the nuts (which he wouldn't feel since he has no feeling below the nipples, but still). wtf is 'cim's friend'? she's not my fucking friend, you fucking twat. for one thing, i'm not ashamed, so why use a totally ambiguous word like that? for another thing, it sounds condescending.
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*hugs*
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Thankfully, I don't have the parent problem, yet. Since, you know, they don't know about her and all, but I can definitely see both of my parents using the 'friend' label. Something along the lines of, "Mandy's little friend." And just. Bleh.
We should maybe come up with our own word.
And wow, that's the longest comment I've ever left in your journal. Sorry.
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it does make me feel better. maybe i should talk to him. i don't think he means to hurt my feelings. i don't know if HE'S somehow embarrassed and wants to keep it secret or if he just thinks that i am so he's lying without asking me.
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i'd like to come up with my own word. i've thought of it. but i've never come up with one so i just say 'wax,' and that is more meaningful to ME at least, even if no one else understands that when i say 'wax' i mean 'the single most important, wonderful, brilliant, beautiful person in my life.' or more simply something like 'life partner,' which is how i think of her, but no one wants to go around going 'and my partner...' it sounds like you're a member of a law firm, or else have a stick up the ass.
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'better half.' that's slightly antique now, but it conveys the point admirably. and has a slight humorous cant.
of course the humor could lead to misunderstandings.
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So yeah, it's not just a gay thing - it's a parent thing. And it's obnoxious. It may also be that your dad doesn't feel comfortable outing you to strangers, figuring that it's your business if you want to tell them. :: sigh ::
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if it's someone that he's going to be discussing my private life with he can damn well tell them she's my partner.
like, does he THINK of her as my 'girlfriend' in his stupid head?
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or not. but yeah.
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Otherwise, you'll just fume about it and he'll have no idea why you're so pissed.
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still it bothers me that he would just assume i was embarrassed and proceed accordingly. if i didn't want people to know about it i would prefer that he skip the subject, not that he LIE.
i hate lying.
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what about 'my better half'? which has the added benefit of being a bit funny. which IMO is always preferable.
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that's what
i'm thinking of 'my better half.' what do you think?
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Girlfriend? Not really.
Re: Girlfriend? Not really.
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Fiancée? :)
(just lurking, don't mind me...)
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