girlfriends and labels
23 Jan 2004 11:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cimoreneyou know what? i hate the word girlfriend. i just do. it has several associations for me, none of them good:
1. a pair of thirteen-year-olds, one girl and one boy. possibly in black and white, possibly exchanging a daisy chain or a plastic ring.
2. when you're in kindergarten and you 'marry' your 'boyfriend' using a toy plastic ring with another little kid officiating.
3. a gay man saying 'girlfriend' in that little voice.
4. a sorority girl. 'me and a couple of my girlfriends are going to the beach for a week.'
it doesn't convey the proper concept. what then? to say 'we're dating'? or 'cim's special friend'? 'significant other'? 'life partner'? the bottom line is that labels are odious when you've already got an idea of what you are, and then someone comes along later wanting to apply a label to it. labels are congenial only when you're familiar with them before you identify with them, and thus don't have conflicting clusters of associations for yourself and the word.
possibly labels are always odious, period, since they tend to have unpleasant effects.
but dad has kept saying to people 'cim's friend' all the time wax was here, dictating letters mostly but also out loud, and i just want to kick him in the nuts (which he wouldn't feel since he has no feeling below the nipples, but still). wtf is 'cim's friend'? she's not my fucking friend, you fucking twat. for one thing, i'm not ashamed, so why use a totally ambiguous word like that? for another thing, it sounds condescending.
1. a pair of thirteen-year-olds, one girl and one boy. possibly in black and white, possibly exchanging a daisy chain or a plastic ring.
2. when you're in kindergarten and you 'marry' your 'boyfriend' using a toy plastic ring with another little kid officiating.
3. a gay man saying 'girlfriend' in that little voice.
4. a sorority girl. 'me and a couple of my girlfriends are going to the beach for a week.'
it doesn't convey the proper concept. what then? to say 'we're dating'? or 'cim's special friend'? 'significant other'? 'life partner'? the bottom line is that labels are odious when you've already got an idea of what you are, and then someone comes along later wanting to apply a label to it. labels are congenial only when you're familiar with them before you identify with them, and thus don't have conflicting clusters of associations for yourself and the word.
possibly labels are always odious, period, since they tend to have unpleasant effects.
but dad has kept saying to people 'cim's friend' all the time wax was here, dictating letters mostly but also out loud, and i just want to kick him in the nuts (which he wouldn't feel since he has no feeling below the nipples, but still). wtf is 'cim's friend'? she's not my fucking friend, you fucking twat. for one thing, i'm not ashamed, so why use a totally ambiguous word like that? for another thing, it sounds condescending.
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(no subject)
Date: 23 Jan 2004 11:53 pm (UTC)if it's someone that he's going to be discussing my private life with he can damn well tell them she's my partner.
like, does he THINK of her as my 'girlfriend' in his stupid head?
(no subject)
Date: 24 Jan 2004 12:42 am (UTC)Otherwise, you'll just fume about it and he'll have no idea why you're so pissed.
(no subject)
Date: 24 Jan 2004 08:54 am (UTC)still it bothers me that he would just assume i was embarrassed and proceed accordingly. if i didn't want people to know about it i would prefer that he skip the subject, not that he LIE.
i hate lying.