cimorene: Grayscale image of Jean Hagen as Lina Lamont in Rococo dress and powdered wig pushing away a would-be kidnapper with a horrified expression (do not want)
None of these are from stories that are visibly a part of a challenge, exchange, or other date-dependent occasion.


  1. This isn't the edited version so I will be going back later and fixing things after getting back from vacation.

  2. No beta because I write this shit at like 3am and publish it immediately.

  3. I wrote this headache fic with a headache so please forgive any typos

  4. i read my writing once after i have written it and that is IT, so any mistakes will be staying. that's just how it be.

  5. wrote this in a frenzy and its not beta read so. it probably sucks my bad

  6. anyway i didnt really feel like editing this one so apologies for any errors,

  7. any mistakes r my own haha i wrote this at 5am again sorry guys.. forgive me v_v!

  8. not beta read bc i just need to PUBLISH THIS DAMN THING

  9. No Beta, no heed towards canon. :)

  10. also did not proofread this bc i have no energy so XX



#4 is actually doing a lot more proofreading than what seems like a plurality of the fandom I've been reading, so props I guess?
cimorene: cartoony drawing of a woman's head in profile giving dubious side-eye (art deco)

  1. Additional Tags: no context to the show this is simply based on vibes

  2. Notes: This canon is out of control and completely random, read at your own risk.

  3. Notes: CWs for some PTSS-ish emotions and mention of homophobic slurs (and a spoiler alert for the Hobbit)

  4. A/N: There's tiny sentiments of my own at the end

  5. Additional Tags: I May make Eddie a Vampire in Later Chapters idk tho it wouldn't be a huge part in the story if I did it would just be mentioned

cimorene: Pixel art of a bright apple green art deco tablet radio with elaborate ivory fretwork (is this thing on?)
  1. Terrifying, devil-like creatures have periodically appeared on Earth through portals that defy explanation as to where they'll appear or what the intention is for opening them. This new arrival is a bit more of a handful than many, but Greg Lestrade has signed on for the job of tending to the ferocious fellow and he's nothing if not dedicated to giving it his best go...


  2. John, a resident of a small French town, is scared by the sudden disappearances of the citizens. His best friend Lestrade is taken, also, but John is slow to realize what is happening. It takes an old German, a batch of Buckwheat Pancakes and the promise of the safe return of his friends to convince him to bargain with a siren.


  3. Mycroft is six years old when he receives a Christmas present whose origin can't be explained. It's a nutcracker, and Mycroft is immediatel drawn to the wooden figur. Is it just a plain and simple nutcracker or is there more to it than anybody realises


  4. AU where Greg and Mycroft are American, in their mid 20s, and are searching for a place to live together in Washington D.C.


  5. Sally Donovan is a serial killer. Will Sherlock ever find the truth?
cimorene: cartoon woman with short bobbed hair wearing bubble-top retrofuturistic space suit in front of purple starscape (intrepid)
Potential child (dragon egg) endangerment Lestrade's POV Sherlock being Sweet Sherlock also being a tease Mycroft Has A Heart

Summary Alternative scene ending for chapter 26 of VincentMeoblinn's Dragon Blood. Warning: Host story contains many potentially disturbing tags and an explicit rating. This fic is not an official part of that story and can be read separately from it. This fic is teen rated.

This story contains spoilers for chapters 26 through 30 of Dragon Blood. Summary: Sherlock is a dragon. He and John have an egg and their new baby is just about to hatch. Mycroft has just attempted to seduce Lestrade in exchange for a favor: Stealing the egg in the interest of protecting his niece or nephew, the unborn child within.
cimorene: A shaggy little long-haired bunny looking curiously up into the camera (bunny)
The Mycroft/Lestrade pairing is so wild that I completely finished going through all the headers and even reading a bunch of weird wacked-out AUs a couple of months ago and rewatched Hbomberguy's "Sherlock is garbage and here's why" but I still have about fifteen posts' worth of fascinating headers and summaries (which I was forgetting to post for a while).


  1. Finding friends is not as easy as one would think, but fate made Mycroft, the exhausted ballet dancer fall into Greg’s arms. Mycroft suffers from the pressure of his parents, who planned out his future for him, until one day he finally collects his courage and tells them the truth. Greg does everything to help his new found friend get the control back over his life and deal with the aftermath.


  2. Mycroft freshly rescued from a slaver tries to fit into the Lestrade household, which doesn't really go as it should. Greg spends his time with drinking, showing his father that he was right saying that he is a disgrace to the family. They first meeting changes something in Greg , which results in some unexpected turns for the both of them.


  3. Dark Mycroft Holmes Dark Greg Lestrade Vampires Werewolves

    Summary Everyone has secrets. Mycroft Holmes likes to keep his in the basement.


  4. Fem!Mystrade transforming to Wyvern!Mycroft/human!Lestrade. Wyvern is a type of two-legged dragon. Inspired by the Bad Dragon product Terra the Amazon Wyvern.


  5. Mycroft's been branded as a thief, and left to die in an icy port. Luckily, a town guard stumbles on him, and gives him shelter. It seems all Mycroft will be stealing is Greg's heart.

cimorene: closeup of Jeremy Brett as Holmes raising his eyebrows from behind a cup of steaming tea (eyebrows)
  1. After his night with Sherlock, John must deal with the consequences of shagging a guitar-playing teenage sex-god.

    Was it just a one-night stand, or is he in over his head this time?

    Jealousy, betrayal, drug- dealers and danger - John Watson is about to have a very bad day!


  2. Anniversary Kidnapping Torture Pain Hurt The boys are in a pretty bad shape Rescue Anthea arranges everything ring Sherlock is confused eventually happy ending

    Summary Mycroft and Gregory got kidnapped on their way home. They are both tortured, and after quite a while left to die.
    Eventually they are saved. Nor Sherlock, nor the doctor are willing to tell Greg anything about Mycroft's state, so Anthea takes the matters to her hand...


  3. Mycroft is dressing up as The Phantom of the Opera in the hopes of getting Gregory Lestrade to like him without knowing it's him.


  4. Mycroft has a secret umbrella stash and Greg can't help but snoop The Government is hard to gift shop for Sherlock and John are sassy lil shits Greg is NOT going to gift sex toys for christmas Or dead mice thank you


  5. It's the open house for Myc's tattoo studio, and he's a social butterfly on the surface, and a wreck underneath. Greg comes to his rescue...after having an enlightening conversation with Myc's blunt, unusual brother.

cimorene: Woman in a tunic and cape, with long dark braids flying in the wind, pointing ahead as a green dragon flies overhead (thattaway)
  1. Poison vomitting Sickness Fever Caretaking Drowning Cutting CPR Nightmares aftermath of war Serious Talks Kinky fantasies Romantic Gestures Innocence Danger Legwork Jealousy Unrequited Love Bullet wound

    Summary Sherlock tries to get John's attention in every way possible and he is really desperate to get it. Of course, he doesn't choose an easy way and things go awry.
    Greg really likes Sherlock's brother Mycroft but he isn't easy to approach. The three men have a stupid idea and follow it up.


  2. Florist au where Lestrade runs a flower shop and Mycroft is itchy
    Series Part 1 of The Florist and the British Government
    Words: 8,381


  3. He knows what being alone is like, it is preferable to the alternative of letting himself be drawn by others. But what about finding something that shakes his convictions to their very foundations? The king of this sturdy house of cards is certainly worried when one simple, common Gregory Lestrade shows him how impressive other's can be.


  4. Shipwrecked after a storm, Mycroft Holmes develops amnesia and is found by lighthouse keeper Gregory Lestrade. AU.


  5. Mycroft gets a goldfish, because his father thinks he's lonley. Who would thought that the fish is lonley too and in addition, in night turns into hot teenage boy?
cimorene: cartoony drawing of a woman's head in profile giving dubious side-eye (Default)
  1. The Grain Goddess The God-king Inspired by Hades and Persephone (Hellenistic Religion & Lore) Retelling Mythology - Freeform Greg is Gregorios Mycroft is the Lord of the Underworld


  2. Mycroft is a member of the English fencing team, Greg swims for the French team at the Olympic Games in Rio. Both men met in London in 2012, where they established a mostly sexual relationship. Now, in Rio in 2016, they face new challenges, and perhaps there's more to their relationship than either of them thought.


  3. Archeologist!Greg Philologist!Mycroft Lovecraftian Erotica Tentacles Consentacles Smut

    Summary An ancient temple, a forgotten curse, a thing of nightmares.

    This was not what Mycroft had imagined when he agreed to accompany Lestrade on the expedition.


  4. National Park Ranger Greg Lestrade meets an English photographer in less than perfect circumstances but if retirement has taught Greg anything, it's to take your chances when you can.


  5. Captured chieftan Gregorix is forced to train as a gladiator in Ancient Rome. He's good at it and has his eye on winning his freedom but the return of his captor, and master, brings a whole new set of complications.

cimorene: white lamb frolicking on green grass (pirouette)
  1. Summary “What are you doing with my umbrella?”

    “Magic!” Greg shouted, tilting his head back and placing the umbrella on his chin. He moved his hands away, the umbrella wobbling slightly as he balanced the thing. It stood perfectly still for a few moments and Greg grinned, gesturing at Mycroft carefully.

    “Dear god, kill me now.”

    “Don’t be such a spoilsport, Myc.”


  2. Mycroft is the British Government, even on Christmas Night.

    Sherlock, however, is his brother. For whatever that is worth.


  3. Gregory Lestrade is a secret cosplayer and Mycroft is intrigued.


  4. Sherlock bakes cupcakes for New Scotland Yard.


  5. Greg catches a case that involves a murder at a local BDSM club. He enlists Mycroft's help in going undercover to get the killer. Things don't quite go as planned.

cimorene: closeup of Jeremy Brett as Holmes raising his eyebrows from behind a cup of steaming tea (holmes)
  1. All of the people are in the same university. Most of them are freshmen. Sherlock, John, Greg, Molly and Jim major in Criminology. Mary and Irene have a different major, which is Psychology. Mycroft is a senior, he works in the Student Council and studies Political Science. Oh, and Eurus is still in high school.

    John recently formed a group chat for the gang to "discuss projects", but they are having way too much fun.


  2. Greg Lestrade Fencing Teenlock

    Summary A simple summer job was what Greg needed to move on after he lost the only home he ever knew, but his life was never going to be that easy.

    Words: 3,334


  3. Mycroft has a magical shop Greg is desperate Sick Child suicide of a original character trigger warning Greg and Mycroft became friends and the more Friends to Lovers strong bond it was written Anchients Mycroft is a but anxious Dating is hard after centuries even more Fluff Mycroft Helps Secrets Heart Break mycroft is a badass Magic Magic Is Everywhere fear of hearbreak breaking up Hurt/Comfort Emotional Hurt Angst Domestic Fluff Getting Back Together everything has it's price Heart Ghosts Happy Ending

    Mycroft runs a magical shop, but you can't pay him in money. Instead he'll trade you what you want in exchange for your memories, your abilities, even your life. Greg finds him in the time of need and trades Mycroft his heart for his help.


  4. Virtual Assistant mystrade Inspired by Max Headroom

    Summary Although he doesn't want one, Mycroft Holmes is required to use a virtual assistant. How convenient that his is a gorgeous, cheeky, silver-haired man.


  5. Genderswap Tea Fem!Everybody Mermaids Silly Captain!Sherlock mermaid!John Squid!Stamford Card Games Tattoos Falling In Love Music Reference to Suicide (Lestrade) Inspired by Art Dream Sex Cunnilingus Brief Reference to Bondage Questionable Marine Biology

    Summary The Science of Deduction is the fastest tea clipper in the business, sailing with the precious Black Dragon Pearl tea from China to London in a record 100 days. What happens when her mutinous crew toss her Captain overboard, right into the arms of a mermaid bored with luring sailors to their deaths?

    All genderswapped, except for Squid!Stamford.

cimorene: cartoony drawing of a woman's head in profile giving dubious side-eye (Default)
  1. Believing that the Reichenbach Fall killed Sherlock, Lestrade and Mycroft indulge in self-destructive and semi-delusional behaviour. TW for depression and alcohol abuse.


  2. Established Mystrade. Alien oviposition roleplay. Sequel to SPLORCH


  3. Sherlock gets a taste of his own medicine (literally) and become a feline. He has nine lives and one case. Words: 35,562


  4. CCTV is not for flirting Greg Lestrade Rude Language ahead You Have Been Warned Victorian Flower Language Mycroft you softie One Shot mystrade MY BABIES

    Summary Greg's had a rough day at work. Thankfully there's the British Government to call off the pest known as one William Sherlock Scott Holmes. Fluffiness ensues.


  5. Something has happened to London. Zombies are roaming the streets and Sherlock sends a desperate text to John, hoping he hasn't been turned yet. John gets it in time but soon discovers why Sherlock was so worried about. Will the consulting detective have time to save his friend before it's too late for them both and London is in ruins?

cimorene: Pixel art of a bright apple green art deco tablet radio with elaborate ivory fretwork (is this thing on?)
  1. He'll never admit it, but when Sherlock was very, very little, he was afraid of the monster under his bed. And Mycroft will never tell a soul, but every time that monster got too frightening for Sherlock to endure, he would crawl into his big brother's bed and fall asleep there, where he was safe.

    And together they would never tell anyone at all that the monster under the bed, as they learned, was not so scary at all. It was the one in the closet they ought to fear. The one under the bed may bite--but the one in the closet? That one would steal you away forever.


  2. Lestrade can sympathise with what John felt about being kidnapped by Mycroft. When it first happened to him he was dragged out of bed and blindfolded. It did not help the things that he only slept in his boxers.


  3. Mycroft Holmes Original Male Character(s) Greg Lestrade sentient umbrella umbrella pov Angst


  4. tree removal Greg au Anal Sex Anal Fingering Blow Jobs Bad Jokes Top Greg Lestrade Bottom Mycroft Holmes

    Summary One of Mycroft's trees was struck by lightning two days ago... which means that Greg Lestrade comes over to help him with all of that heavy wood.


  5. While out with his friends, Greg Lestrade gets drunk and is tied (naked) to a fence with duct tape.
    A young teen just happens to be driving by and finds Greg in the compromising state.
    He offers him so clothes and somehow turns the event into a date.
    But has Greg found the one who he can truly care for?

cimorene: closeup of a large book held in a woman's hands as she flips through it (reading)
  1. History professor and lifelong bookworm Mycroft Holmes retires and leaves London for what he hopes will be a rural idyll. What he gets is a broken leg and the friendship of the postmistress who directs him to the local library in an attempt to broaden his literary horizons. She fails to mention her hope that librarian Greg Lestrade will provide more for him than a few good books.


  2. Greg Lestrade is the Senior consultant cardiothoracic surgeon in charge of heart transplant patient, Sherlock Holmes’, care. Mycroft is Sherlock’s mysterious older brother and a prominent member of the governing board for the private hospital Greg works in. Detective Inspector John Watson is Sherlock Holmes’ partner but Mycroft seems determined to keep John and his brother apart.


  3. Stricken with PTSD and anger management issues ex-army man Greg Lestrade considers himself unemployable until the owner of Sherrinford Nurseries takes a chance on him. Greg discovers he has a gift but the owner, Mycroft Holmes, and the world's most aggravating client could easily disturb his newfound peace.


  4. Mycroft Holmes is coerced into playing piano at a ballet class for a friend of his mother's. There's a young man named Greg Lestrade in the class getting ready to audition for the National Ballet. Cue shy glances and a considerable amount of blushing.


  5. Sherlock is the younger sister of the Emperor's closest advisor, his Tea Master. For impudence in the Imperial Court, she is exiled to a far eastern province to oversee the harvest of the Emperor's prized white tea, called Silver Needle. There, she falls in love with one of the white-gloved peasant maidens designated to pluck the tea.

    A once upon a time, love at first sight genderswapped AU romance.

    Series Part 3 of Twelve Cups of Tea Words: 26,666

cimorene: painting of two women in Regency gowns drinking tea (tea)
  1. I continue to suspect Sherlock's endless refusal to admit he knows Greg's name is more complex than just perverse humor. My pet theory is that "Greg" is a cover name, and that he's really "G" something or other. Maybe even "G" as an agent name, like M or Q. But I also sometimes like playing with Greg happily switching names because, well...there are so many G names you'd be happy enough to escape, after all...


  2. Title may change because it's crap


  3. This is literal shit. I wouldn't read this, I assure you. But it has baby Holmes Bros and lots of fluff and a very shy Mycroft and a very awkward Greg so if you like that go ahead.


  4. Because Rupert Graves had a job as a clown at some point in his youth.

    Mycroft is terrified of clowns. He can't help it- he always has been but the idea of their creepy painted faces makes him want to run and hide. He'd never even have gone to the Circus if it wasn't for the fact that Sherlock was so excited. But how will his perspective change when he meets a real life Clown called Greg?


  5. Notes Welcome to this story!

cimorene: Couselor Deanna Troi in a listening pose as she gazes into the camera (tell me more)
  1. Greg fulfils his promise to Sherlock by taking care of Mycroft and by bringing him chips in the attempt to make things better.


  2. Greg has always had trouble sleeping. It was just a fact of life. But when he was eight, his relationship with sleep changed. And then when he became an adult, he actually had a relationship with Sleep, as in the actual being. This wouldn't have anything to do with Hypnos and Mycroft looking so much alike, could it? Nah!


  3. Summary The two of them – Mycroft and he – are a flamenco piece, it seems – a wild guitar melody over a strong, steady bass.


  4. Mycroft never expected to fall in love with anyone, let alone an angel.


  5. Greg had always thought of Mycroft as more of an institution than a person, evolved beyond and above humanity. But he wasn’t, was he? Somewhere inside, there was a human being, as real and pure as any other.
cimorene: cartoonish drawing of a cat looking over a mounded blanket in the dark, in blues and purples (bandit)
  1. Alice(original female character) Sally Donovan's Parents Sam Falconer (omc )Alternate Universe - 1960s virgin Greg poet mycroft Sally Donovan & Greg Lestrade Friendship dark secrets Emotional Hurt/Comfort Sexual Tension Sally is a very good friend Sexual Content

    Summary AU. Greg Lestrade is a bookshop owner in 1960's Soho. When he finds that his favourite poet, the reclusive Mycroft Holmes, is publishing a new collection he moves heaven and earth to get him to do a recital at his shop.


  2. Mythical Beings & Creatures I'm not going to explain this... it just happened Just because I never use Sherlock or John's name doesn't mean they aren't there... being them... No actual smutz... sorry... you'll have to use your dirty dirty imaginations Magical Realism Mystrade is Magic


  3. Greg Lestrade is forced to use the body wash his ex-wife left behind, and he endures a hell of a day because of it. At least there's a reward for him at the end.


  4. Alternate Universe - Mythology Bad Mythological Chronology Mycroft as Athena Lestrade as Poseidon

    Summary Being an all-powerful deity is, for a lack of a better word, boring. At least, according to Mycroft.


  5. Cthulhu references MystradeIsMagic Captain Gregory Lestrade Sea Creature Mycroft True Love Madness POV Multiple Brief homophobia in chapter 2 Happy Ending Don't copy to another site

    Summary Perhaps most fearsome among beasts is a monster with a sweet voice and an appetite that compels it to gorge on the marrow of men.
cimorene: closeup of Jeremy Brett as Holmes raising his eyebrows from behind a cup of steaming tea (holmes)
  1. Emotional Hurt/Comfort Crossdressing Mycroft is smol Slow Romance Crack Treated Seriously shock blankets Canon Compliant Oscar Wilde References It's PoTAge alla RoMAna Gregory
    Summary After blankets and takeaway fail to distract Mycroft from the painful misery the events of Sherrinford threw him into, Greg makes a final desperate suggestion. As the elder Holmes grabs on to the idea and runs with it, there's only one thing his DI knows for certain: this is not how he expected his day to end.


  2. troubles in North Korea Mycroft's job he IS the British Government Greg's love is just so precious Calming Tea and Scented Jumpers OTP forehead touch Fluffy Fluff floof?


  3. Musical References Surprises Hidden Talents Hidden Depths well that was unexpected do not copy to another site Zero to Sixty in a blink Innuendo Shameless Puns
    Summary On a quiet night, Greg Lestrade ends up at a piano bar in Soho - and gets the shock of his life.


  4. The world is an ocean, and every single living soul is a wave crashing on the beach that is his mind. Every time they take a breath, the ocean churns and bubbles, and every time they feel, a hurricane brews overhead, lightning slicing across a silver-slicked sky; Mycroft Holmes is the iceberg that strikes him in the end.


  5. Mycroft is having a terrible day. He finally gives in and calls Greg to his office because he doesn't want anyone other than his goldfish.

cimorene: closeup of a large book held in a woman's hands as she flips through it (reading)
  1. all apologies for this travesty against Scottish heritage Tartan and Stones is like Hooters but the servers are men in kilts everyone acknowledges it's sleazy as fuck
    Summary Greg is working the most revealing undercover gig of his career when Mycroft Holmes arrives on the scene.


  2. Mycroft didn’t expect his parents to hire such an attractive chimney sweep. And he certainly didn’t expect anything more to come of it.


  3. Mycroft's been frequenting a strip club. After a month away Mycroft is eager to see one of the dancers. And it seems Foxy is eager to see him too.


  4. Title Not a Fetish
    Tags Hybrids Foxes Silver Fox Silver Fox Greg Lestrade Animal Traits Animal Ears Tails Slice of Life
    Summary Lestrade's fox features capture Mycroft's attention.


  5. Holmes/Greg Lestrade Mycroft Holmes Greg Lestrade Anthea (Sherlock) Dubious Consent Exhibitionism Blow Jobs Spanking Bondage Dark!Lestrade Coercion Humiliation

    Summary Sherlock Kink Meme Prompt: We all know Mycroft loves to kidnap people, trying to make them spy on his little brother by paying them. I want Lestrade or John (don't care which one) to accept but instead of taking the money they want Mycroft to repay them with sexual favours. How far is Mycroft willing to go just to keep an eye on Sherlock.
cimorene: painting of two women in Regency gowns drinking tea (tea)

  1. Mycroft is a walking gay stereotype- which is funny, because he's actually straight. Well, no, no he's not, but he's closeted and that's kind of the same thing.. definitely.


  2. Somehow Mycroft had found himself organizing weddings and other social events. He was not sure, how he got there, but surrounded by assistants and subjected to questions about decorations and flowers he kind of hated his job. Especially since it stood between him and his decision to propose to the man he loved.


  3. As Mycroft watches the two of them sing Shania Twain’s ‘Don’t Be Stupid’ to the entire family’s rapturous approval, he realises with a thrill that he’s watching the man he’ll marry - watching him sing and dance and laugh, grinning from ear-to-ear - and he’s grinning straight across the room at Mycroft.


  4. accidental pepper spraying I can't believe that's not a tag Hurt/Comfort First Meetings
    Summary Mycroft reacts on instinct when he thinks he's being followed. He kind of is - by his new neighbour. If he's lucky, the man won't press charges. In his mind, that's the best possible outcome, but the universe has more in store for him.


  5. Somehow Mycroft gets hold of the Queen's corgis, and leaves them for Greg to look after. But does he have ulterior motives?
    Alternative Summary: CORGI PUPPS


cimorene: A sloppy, scribbly caricature of an orange and white cat (confused)
  1. Award-winning journalist Mycroft Holmes is sent to cover the trial of the century. Militia leader Grigori Lestrade is charged with war crimes and faces the death penalty. Miraculously acquitted he invites Mycroft to come with him to witness for himself the truth and discover what really was behind the accusations. Mycroft is no stranger to war zones. He expects deprivation and hardship, but there's one thing he doesn't expect...


  2. Convinced to attend a costume party Greg is confronted by horrors from his past. Surely he's doomed, but help arrives from an unexpected person.


  3. Violence Torture Possessive Behavior Hurt/Comfort Oral Sex Protectiveness Psychological Torture Human Trafficking Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con
    Summary It started out with John and Greg drinking at the local pub. Greg asked John there because of something that happened to him. With one drink after the other the night took an unexpected turn.
    John grabbed Greg and slurred, "Where do you think your going? You can't just kiss me then walk away, Greg?"
    Things get hot and heavy and soon Greg is wanting to take the good doctor home to play. However, his plans are suddenly changed when a unmarked black van pulls up, kidnapping both John and Greg.
    Now, it's up to the Holmes brothers to find them before it's to late.


  4. After Greg and Mycroft have a fight, Mycroft decides to go so deep undercover the rest of the world forgets about him. Enlisting the help of his brother, will he be able to leave before Gregory finds out how permanent forever can be?


  5. Mycroft, Greg, and John have had enough of Sherlock's attitude. They construct a scheme to show Sherlock what it'd be like if they didn't know him.
    Sherlock is drugged with a new chemical Mycroft's people have produced, and then everyone Sherlock encounters pretends they have no idea who he is.

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