Cimorene

1. Wax's fatigue and stress

Wax had a breakdown about a year ago after Snookums died and we lost Anubis, the same as I did. But she hasn't really rebounded, just been scraping along as if she had the flu since then. She recently told me she thought it wasn't burnout, or anxiety, but maybe something physical related to menopause or thyroid perhaps, and she finally went to a doctor and had a bunch of bloodwork done. But it looked like it wasn't anything like that, and the doctor who gave her the results said she needs to probably see a gynecologist to check if it's related to hormones next. That was a couple of weeks ago, and she hasn't done it yet - she seems to have been alarmed by some vagueness about how the referral process is gonna work. This is her work health insurance, so completely differently from how it works for me.

2. Me seeing a doctor

I got up early yesterday to call between 8:00 and 8:01 am and actually got a record-fast callback in less than 40 minutes, and this time they ACTUALLY GAVE ME AN APPOINTMENT!!! The appointment is in a week and a half, shortly after my birthday. I have a whole list of questions unrelated to this medication to ask the GP while I am there.

3. Cat training & cat divorce

The other day Tristana and Sipuli were briefly sitting calmly on opposite sites of the gate looking at each other! It only lasted for about one minute. While I was still talking to Wax about it, as we watched, Sipuli jumped down, turned in a circle, then jumped back up and tried to grab Tristana through the gate, and Tristana jumped away of course. But it's still a milestone. (I think I've seen this twice before maybe.)

Sipuli is focused enough on training now that she will keep her attention on me even if Tristana is right there staring through the gate! She only ignored me to jump on the gate once, and I ended the session immediately. Since then she has kept her attention on me in spite of gross provocation from Tristana several times.

I think I will try training them to turn in a circle next, and I've started doing this with Tristana by moving the target around to the side next to her hip so she has to twist after it a bit. (Tristana has not even realized she can touch the target with her foot instead of her nose yet. Sipuli seems to switch sort of randomly.)

4. Attempting to become less sedentary

I was doing pretty well with stretches and exercises in the last few months up until I got my driver's licence, but the week before last which I spent at that job-hunting course caused me to drop all the balls I had been juggling (balls of daily routines I mean), and I have not managed to get back to the exercise yet. Which is extra annoying because at the same time I started knitting a sweater for an 18-year-old nephew, so doing shoulder- and arm-focused stretching routines would be more useful now than it was a month ago. I spent all last week feeling exhausted and didn't get past cleaning and knitting. But at the same time, it's now pitch black by four in the afternoon and doesn't lighten until after eight. I need to dig out my sunlamp and get it set up in a good position, probably. In twenty years I've never managed to establish a lasting routine with it, but maybe I just need more practice.

Sipuli has had three days of short sessions, 5-10 minutes, of clicker training, and it's adorable. She's possibly the cleverest cat we've ever met, and she's very food-motivated.

Our rewards are the little cubes of freeze dried chicken, which are much more expensive than most cat treats but also healthier because, unlike most cat treats, they don't contain anything but meat; and they were the only kind Snookums could have because he was diabetic, and as a result Tristana is used to getting them at bedtime and after Procedures like claw trimming and ear cleaning.

Sipuli has not fully mastered "touch the target", but she's so engaged, and you can see her thinking.

The idea behind this suggestion from the cat behaviorist was, I think, being able to ultimately train them simultaneously in parallel, and maybe get them to act differently at the gate. This seems possible, but we haven't started training Tristana or introduced Wax making the requests yet, so it's early.

On the minus side, yesterday Sipuli got out and chased Tristana across the room for about thirty seconds. You'd have thought they were both dying, but actually it seems like they did not in fact touch each other at all - Tristana was screaming under the chair while Sipuli was yelling back. That's good, that nobody was hurt and they didn't physically fight. But obviously still a setback. Tristana had to go hide in the turtle bed on the heated upstairs bathroom floor for a few hours.

Sipuli is still unable to calm down enough to approach Tristana closely through the gate, in spite of ample opportunity; it seems like Tristana would like for her to.

(So no real change since I last wrote about this.) The problem is no longer that Tristana is afraid to come close to the gate; for the past 3? months it's instead been that Tristana will sit right there and if Sipuli just walked over and sat down they could sniff each other through it, but she wants to be friends too badly and she gets too excited and flings her entire body on the gate and tries to grab Tristana through it. And then Tristana backs off (without being too upset) because she doesn't want to be grabbed and she doesn't like sudden movements and loud noises.

After the thousands of times she got excited and pounced and Tristana left, Sipuli has learned that Something Bad is associated with her getting all excited... but she doesn't appear to know that it's the jumping/grabbing. Instead she sees Tristana and starts to get excited and then after about five seconds she gets embarrassed/anxious and retreats.

This happens even if she didn't make any sudden movements. She'll see Tristana sitting patiently on her side of the gate with her nose up against it looking curiously at her and she'll start towards her with fascinated ears, and then she'll pause about a foot away, turn around in a circle, pace a little bit, and then leave and go under a chair.

They HAVE touched noses through the gate a couple of times and Sipuli gets to take walks in the rest of the house on a leash now, but she has not managed to touch noses on these walks yet; she's still getting too excited and trying to lunge or jump towards Tristana and being prevented by the leash.

As long-time readers are aware, Wax and I have been cat divorced for what feels like forever* (in this case, since we brought Sipuli home last September), in a house ( divided. )

Tristana's journey: Tristana would initially not come near the gate at all; then she would gradually creep closer but run away and hide at any sign of movement. ( It was agonizingly gradual, and it's been over six months, but as of about a week and a half ago, she is not afraid at all. )

Sipuli's journey: So Tristana has made a lot of progress, and will stay sitting right next to the gate now even when Sipuli gets excited and rattles it or bounces off it a bit. But now the problem is Sipuli. After her first reaction of getting over-excited - usually like, one bounce - she typically has a quick spurt of intense regret and self-doubt, and frequently retreats, sometimes all the way into the other room. It seems that she has learned that her over-excitedness has something bad associated with it, but she doesn't understand what about it is wrong, so she will leave the gate while Tristana is still sitting right there peering through at her like "Where are you going?"

They have sat quite close on opposite sides of the gate looking at each other, neither one freaking out, I'd say about three times in the last week and a half, though. They still haven't sniffed and greeted each other, but I think it is probably not far away now. And then when they do they can be introduced on leashes in the same space!!!!!!!



This was last weekend, the second time they did it. And these are sketches I did after waxjism said "They're so Kiki and Boba!"

* But before that since I think 2022 because of Anubis, with a couple of weeks of breaks here and there.

Friday was the first time in months Wax has felt up to the hassle of making delicious delicious Ragusea Pea Pasta. It's the first time she's been up to doing that much food prep since Christmas, and if you leave out Christmas, the first time since last September I think.

I am a competent food preparer, but this is one of the dishes she always makes, and the one time so far she has tried to teach me, I spilled half the cream and lemon juice all over the floor and cabinets before making the sauce, then spilled half the pasta in the sink a few minutes later so we had to start over twice. Sometimes I have clumsy days where I should not attempt tasks that require coordination, and that was one. Wax calls it Going Full Mr Bean. We will have to do the Learning thing again sometime for me to master it.

Unfortunately the immersion blender died before it could be used, so now I need to order another immersion blender.

Also last night Tristana and Sipuli were both active and playing on opposite sides of the gate for a while! By coordinating efforts we got a fair bit of time where they could see each other playing, although Tristana was still overly cautious, with a tendency to go away from the baby gate into the rest of the room where Sipuli couldn't see her. And Sipuli did still pounce on the gate a couple of times. But it's probably positive for them, and good that we managed to do it.

Life

waxjism's winter or "winter sport" holiday of one week started yesterday. I had a little bit of energy and got the empty cookie tins from Christmas (9 of them) washed, dried, and put away. We were going to go for a walk yesterday and then we were going to go for a walk today, but the sun has set now - it's almost 4 pm - so I guess we'll try again tomorrow. Also in the last week Wax has taken the trunk of the Christmas tree outside and I finished packaging up the huge box of wrappings into trash bags (and a little bit into plastic and cardboard recycling) and now we have recycling bags all over the hallway and the cold porch. All the star lanterns are still in the windows, but I haven't had the energy to turn them on in a month.

Winter knitting

Since Christmas I have finished this double-layered stocking cap for my dad (Musselburgh by Ysolda Teague), half in Scheepjes Downtown self-striping sock yarn in Lakeside and a contrast half in Sandnes Garn Sunday in Jelly Bean Green/Petite Knit Statement Green. I made two pairs of socks to use up the remnants (adding a solid chartreuse yarn in the second pair because there wasn't enough for two whole pairs). Also some legwarmers, this pale pink brioche sweater and a matching scarf from the remnant of the pink yarn, a balaclava which I have worn almost every day since I finished it (v. amused that it makes me look like the marginalia recorder-playing musician in this icon), and finally this beautiful two-color brioche shawl (Raina by Andrea Mowry).



Pets

Inspector Japp continues hanging out on the sofa frequently. Rowan has taken to coming and personally begging us for dry used teabags which is probably good because he gets less of them that way (we won't let them have more than 1-2 per day; they don't manage to consume very much of the contents). (These pictures are of him emerging from a narrow bunny hay tunnel and nothing to do with tea.)

Tristana continues to hang out near the gate and watch Sipuli with increasing chillness but Sipuli continues getting impatient and jumping on the gate to stick her paw through the bars and try to grab when Tristana won't come any closer. Wax and I continue NOT doing what the animal behaviorist recommended, which is parallel play and training and sitting with the cats close to the gate to keep them calm, because executive dysfunction/energy/planning. I hang out near the gate on either side and sometimes a cat will sit on me, that's about as far as we've come. Wax can't figure out a way to make herself comfortable near the gate at all. A bit like Tristana, hah hah hah.

Supplementary information to a few past posts:

1. Peppermint (candycanes) update: we actually found candy canes, on the 23rd, in a supermarket we had already looked in. They were manufactured in China and are kind of crappy (I bought some). The full size candy canes, an entire box, were all pre-broken into a bunch of pieces in the wrapper. The small candy canes are out of proportion and like... almost U-shaped, and too fat, and insteaad of being wrapped normally they're each in a little clear plastic envelope. All of them are pink and white instead of red and white and they don't taste that great. I will try getting the peppermint drops from that place in Sweden where they invented them perhaps next year.

2. Cat update: Tristana refused to sleep with me in the bed for three nights after the night when BIL's cats were kept in our bedroom, but she is back now. Behavior wise, she seems about the same as before all the visitors arrived. No further progress, but hanging out fairly close to the gate (when she is activated and before she gets too cold and has to go huddle inside someone's blankets or clothing or a radiator tent).

3. Sneezing update: I tried rinsing my sinuses with two of those little tiny individually sealed packets of sterile saline solution and it worked really well! I've never had such a dramatic affliction to test them on before, though. I only had two more sneezing spells after. So I guess I had inhaled some kind of physical irritant. I do not have a cold.

4. Knitting update: I have been knitting the same sweater since about 20 Dec. I've wanted a brioche sweater for a long time, but brioche uses twice as much yarn over the same yardage and twice as much time to execute because you knit each row twice. This is a benefit for some things obviously and a problem for others! IMO, it's a peerless fabric for scarf/shawl to wrap around my neck in the winter, but sweaters risk being too warm, obviously. I am trying Drops Air, an Aran-weight blown yarn that is fuzzy and hairy (mostly baby alpaca and merino). I've been meaning to try it for years and never quite got around to it. The key point is that a blown yarn is made with a very fine knitted tube of synthetic fiber as an armature and the natural fibers are attached to this, so it has the ability to be much lighter and cooler than a traditional yarn of its circumference, because it's hollow. It remains to be seen whether it will be too hot or not. I had trouble with the pattern and had to decide how I wanted to make the sleeves for myself as a result, and this meant a lot of knitting and frogging and knitting again on the first sleeve. I hate knitting sleeves and I decided to knit this sleeve in the round, which I hate even more because it's a little tube (I have mostly knitted sleeves back and forth and then sewn up the underarm seam afterwards in the past few years, and I am happy with that procedure, but I didn't want to try it with brioche because of the complications introduced by the double thickness of yarn). So what with having to knit twice as many rows, I was kind of trapped in an endless sleeve through the whole armpit between Christmas and New Year's. I initially bound off the body before doing the sleeves, according to pattern instructions, and for no earthy good reason I actually used the Italian or sewn bind-off as recommended by the pattern when usually I never bother with that; and then after I made the sleeves I was like, why did I do that? I want this sweater to be longer than usual, if anything, and I spent basically an entire day unsewing that bindoff with a crochet hook and frogging the bottom ribbing back so I could make it longer. But I am almost actually done now.

Two days ago Tristana delighted us by perching on this drying rack, much closer to the gate, and making eye contact with Sipuli, who got extremely excited and bounced around off the walls to relieve her feelings.



Sipuli is also pictured as SpiderCat, which is just normal for her. She loves to climb the gate, but it was very funny seeing her do it in a hurry as part of her zooming celebration.

So yesterday we moved the sofa over there, in front of the woodstove. The room layout might be the silliest it has ever looked, but Tristana sat on the back of the sofa immediately! Perhaps it will help her work up to touching noses.

What's going on with the cats is that we're switching their blankets every couple of days and nothing else is changing.

Since the last time Sipuli escaped and chased her, which did not scare Tristana as much as previous times, Tristana has been spending more and more time downstairs. She will spend the whole evening in the living room once Wax is off work and someone is there, and sometimes she will spend a chunk of the morning or afternoon there, if she comes downstairs and yells for me and I come out to hang out with her. She doesn't stay in there alone, but this could be because it's not warm enough. (If a Cornish Rex isn't on a person, borrowing body heat, it is usually on a radiator in the winter.)

She will spend a chunk of her time in the living room staring through the gate at Sipuli's territory, more if Sipuli is visible. But she'll never come closer to the gate than five feet or so. Artist's interpretation follows: the dining room is aqua and the living room green. The stars on aqua are where Sipuli sits and stares (not all the time though: she too defaults to the radiator) and the stars on green are where Tristana posts up. It seems like Sipuli is talking to Tristana some of the time when she cries, but it's hard to tell.

I went to Turku yesterday and saw my friend and met her cat!

Next we need to make an appointment with the animal behaviorist, for a time we can both do. Wax thinks I should contact the driving school right away to sign up for driving lessons, but I wonder if the fact that it just snowed and stuck for the first time will be bad?

And I have to go to Turku for a mammogram a week from tomorrow. I've never had one before, but my paternal family is high risk, and I had a benign lump in my 20s, and at that time they said to get screened again when I was 40. I am dreading it, though. I think last time I just had an ultrasound.

Eta: these aren't all the things on my list, but it is short and yet still overwhelming. I am lying down so that Sipuli will cuddle me today, because I was gone yesterday and didn't spend much time with her. That means I can't knit, because she doesn't like sitting in chairs but sitting up on the futon is bad for my back.