my sister could have written this story.

[cimorene]

AHAHAHAHHAHA! <3! badfic! not to insult my sister. for a precocious eleven-year-old, it would be quite good. it's the horrible failed attempts at historical detail that have me writhing on the floor. this is why the ignorant should either build their own universes from scratch or not attempt to write AUs.

edit: HAHAHAHAH...! I explored his mouth lasciviously. It was so worm and hot and wet. HAHAhahahahHA!

Comments

[veuki.livejournal.com]

*screams and runs away from TEH WORMY MOUTH* ;)

[cimness.livejournal.com]

::snicker::

and from there it just gets better...

[mamahooch.livejournal.com]

Oooh, failed attempts at historical detail? Like what? Share the badfic with your adoring minions, Principessa!

[mamahooch.livejournal.com]

Ahaha, never mind - just scrolled up the friends page and you already did :) *runs off to peruse*

[cimness.livejournal.com]

well, the story was evidently intended to be somewhere between medieval and austen-era. harry's a teacher at hogwarts, which is a tiny school started by hermione and ron in their mansion, and magic doesn't exist. it mysteriously contains a room full of saunas and a steam room. harry, a poorly brought up gentleman's tutor highly reputed among the gentry for his unusual ability to read (???), somehow gets an in when lord malfoy sets up a summer residence in town, and convinces hermione to allow him to invite the gentlemen to a steam/hot tub party at the castle. harry plays host, leads them through the backdoor and around the edges of the castle (without them realizing they're getting the roundabout) and shows them to a 'changing room.' lord malfoy wants to know if there isn't another room he can change in alone. harry says simply 'no.' (in a castle the size of hogwarts? and by changing we mean getting undressed, since they'll be naked). malfoy huffs and goes into the corner to change. having been polite and treated harry as an equal up-front, he now starts mocking him, with his hangers-on ('steam get to be too much for you?'). then there's the fact that although the mayor of the town owns a piano, as does hermione, harry is the only resident of the town who knows how to play one, having been taught by an apparently famed lady when he tutored her daughter. he's an expert virtuoso! and he teaches his friend, padma, how to play remarkably well in a few weeks.

[mamahooch.livejournal.com]

*winces* Oh... God... it burns!