Cimorene

hiding is how she reacts to her anger AND to other people's.

Yup. I'm one of those, too. It's odd, too, because I don't come from a violent family -- but I gather that my father did (not that we talk about that), and evidently his discomfort with anger has just been passed along.

In my family we're never angry. We're irritated. We're disappointed.

And then I married a hand-waving Italian-American drama king ...