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cimorenethe amounts of crack that my parents are on is like the running gag in my life. this is mostly manifest when they send me care packages. you should understand that it's highly expensive to send things from the us to finland so i've left behind enough stuff that they could probably send me weekly packages for a year. but this doesn't stop my parents from sending me random, crack-addled things. from them, in past care packages, i have received:
so today we added to the collection when i received an unexpected package packed in an old girl scout cookie box and opened it to find... a whole lot of blue velvet staring me in the face. blue velvet? i said to myself. what's this?
i pulled it out of the package.
it was a nightgown that belongs to my mother. a nightgown... that belongs to my mother. right there are two things wrong with this picture. a third thing (assuming that i wore nightgowns, and that it were mine or that we were remotely similar in size) would be that it's a winter nightgown, that is, long-sleeved, floor-length, and possessing a turtleneck. just in time for summer. now, based on my parents' past behaviour i'm afraid it's impossible to calculate whether they've sent this because they thought i needed a velvet nightgown in summer more than mom did and so decided to sacrifice one of her favourites, or whether they've forgotten that it's hers and actually believe it is mine (you'd be surprised).
of course, under it were one of my favourite shirts, a whole bunch of packages of red beans and rice and two big bags of peanut m&m's, so i'm not complaining. mmm, easter m&m's for breakfast!
- the one wodehouse book out of a shelf of approximately fifteen that i specifically asked them NOT to send, and none of the others
- two identical copies of the same edition of alas, babylon -- in the same box
- three movies i've never seen and didn't want, plus their second copy of another movie when i already had the first one with me
- a menorah identical to my own, which they had forgotten actually belonged to them
- several shirts that don't belong to me
so today we added to the collection when i received an unexpected package packed in an old girl scout cookie box and opened it to find... a whole lot of blue velvet staring me in the face. blue velvet? i said to myself. what's this?
i pulled it out of the package.
it was a nightgown that belongs to my mother. a nightgown... that belongs to my mother. right there are two things wrong with this picture. a third thing (assuming that i wore nightgowns, and that it were mine or that we were remotely similar in size) would be that it's a winter nightgown, that is, long-sleeved, floor-length, and possessing a turtleneck. just in time for summer. now, based on my parents' past behaviour i'm afraid it's impossible to calculate whether they've sent this because they thought i needed a velvet nightgown in summer more than mom did and so decided to sacrifice one of her favourites, or whether they've forgotten that it's hers and actually believe it is mine (you'd be surprised).
of course, under it were one of my favourite shirts, a whole bunch of packages of red beans and rice and two big bags of peanut m&m's, so i'm not complaining. mmm, easter m&m's for breakfast!
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(no subject)
Date: 26 Apr 2006 12:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 26 Apr 2006 12:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 26 Apr 2006 01:14 pm (UTC)When I was on student exchange, my stepmother sent me an extremely dead old jumper of Dad's, a jar of Vegemite and an inexplicably used tub of Blistex, which it [months] later turned out had fallen in there accidentally. You totally still win, but: yeah.
(no subject)
Date: 26 Apr 2006 01:51 pm (UTC)About 10 years ago, my mother sent me (for Christmas mind you) a package of granny panties and a wooden beer stein. Read that sentence again and if you don't laugh hysterically ...
(no subject)
Date: 26 Apr 2006 05:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 27 Apr 2006 09:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 27 Apr 2006 09:16 am (UTC)in fact, that's a nice catchy name for the phenomenon. when i was in high school i volunteered at the state geological survey unpacking boxes of donated fossils that were collected by this elderly eccentric fossil-collecting nut. he'd pick them up himself and also order them, sometimes internationally, and mail them for the survey's palaeontology museum and for giving away, and i was ALWAYS finding great things like:
popped popcorn kernels
random receipts from stores both mundane and rather sketchy
library cards
a random candid photo of a couple in a ballroom dancing competition.
THE BLISTEX THEORY.
(no subject)
Date: 27 Apr 2006 09:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 27 Apr 2006 01:48 pm (UTC)To this day, I can't remember what I did with the panties ... they might be lurking in a drawer somewhere just waiting to pounce on me when I least expect it. ... Like one night, when I'm drunk and sleep-deprived, I'll wake up the next morning wearing nothing by oversized granny panties. (shudders) God. I think I need to fumigate by brain.
(no subject)
Date: 27 Apr 2006 05:23 pm (UTC)maybe she DID hit her head?
(no subject)
Date: 27 Apr 2006 08:47 pm (UTC)