"i may have been unexpectedly abducted and imprisoned, but at least my shoes match my outfit."

imagine you're a college voice major who has been unexpectedly and forcibly abducted in the middle of the night.  you wake up with a drug-hangover, locked in a palatial suite with bars on the windows.  and then...?

well, if you're the modern-day version of christine daaé, maybe your answer is "have a nice hot shower and then put on some of the designer clothes so thoughtfully provided by my unknown captor".

Upon reentering the wardrobe I found another smaller chest of drawers, this one filled with lingerie, all obviously new and all in my size. I tried not to think about it -- how could my captor have known my cup size, for God’s sake? -- and dressed myself quickly, finding a pair of dark denim jeans that fit perfectly, along with a beautiful cashmere argyle cardigan in rich shades of emerald green and cornflower blue. A pair of dark green kitten heels seemed to finish off the outfit perfectly.

I paused for a second by the jewelry chest, fought a losing battle with my conscience, and opened up the top drawer. Surely there had to be something in there that didn’t look as if it should be adorning a celebrity on the red carpet. After a bit of searching I found a pair of simple diamond stud earrings -- well, as simple as a pair of multi-carat diamonds could be, anyway -- and slipped them on. A gorgeous emerald winked at me from the center of the black velvet compartment, imploring to be worn, but I shut the drawer with more resolution than I felt. It was one thing to wear a pair of stud earrings, especially since I always felt naked without earrings on, but it was an entirely different matter start parading around in jewels that looked as if they should be locked in a vault surrounded by armed guards, not left in an unsecured chest of drawers. Besides, I didn’t want my captor -- whoever he was -- to think that he could seduce me with a few flashy rocks.

[no return, by christine x]

 

...ahahahahha. ahem.

i didn't know whether to put this story under "recs" or "badfic" so i tagged it both;  i'm linking it because of ridiculousness, but the truth is it's the best thing i read yesterday and probably quite publishable, of harlequin-romance-like quality.  just, well, a bit sillier.  which was perhaps inevitable:  it's the phantom of the opera set in modern times (something that seems to be bizarrely popular), except the musical exists too so the characters refer to it rather constantly without ever achieving any ironic distance or meta.  the story just doesn't seem to have the self-awareness for that.

(no subject)

anyone want to come over this evening for i heart huckabees and some doctor who?  wax has the night shift at 8 pm.  any time is fine--my plans for today consist of wearing pajamas and watching shit.

ALSO, there's now a dvd drive on MY computer--which means it should be possible to move the couch around so we can watch from it, although it will still be on a smaller screen.