Morning Wax

so many inanimate things

One time a number of years ago, Wax and I were preparing to entertain guests for dinner and discovered the salad bowl wasn't large enough. I suggested we put the salad in a clear plastic mixing bowl (now deceased), and Wax picked it up and intoned,

"Mixing bowl, you've been promoted."

So I said in a squeaky voice, "Why, thank you, Wax, I'm very honoured."

This gradually turned into a running joke with other inanimate objects until it bled over into using the squeaky voice for the cats ("Kitty, what are you doing?" "I don't know! I'm not very smart! My brain is only the size of a peanut!"), and then it really accelerated and now I think dialogue for inanimate objects in the squeaky voice kind of automatically. When I'm reading badfic, I tend to hear it squeaking, "Why do I suck so much?" or "I don't make any sense!"

Well, badfic, I don't bear you any particular ill will, and I will try to finish you since I'm almost halfway through, but I do think it was inconsiderate of you to spring a boring and formulaic resolution on me at this late stage. Of course, it was foolish to expect better, but one can't help being optimistic from time to time. Also, badfic, if no one ever told you before, your dialogue sucks, and most people don't actually blush that much.