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( a few more )
7 Jul 2008
( a few more )
Impossible Mission
7 Jul 2008 11:15 pmOur Seekrit Mission to return the books I accidentally stole from the Sociology library a year ago went... well... pathetically. In that Wax and I are pathetic, I mean. As we were walking out of the building, I said to her, "Of course if there are lots of people around we will have to abort!" and she said, "If there lots of people around I will fucking drag you in there by the scruff of your little neck!"
Then we got to the building. Campus was deserted. My key worked - the door unlocked for me and while I opened the inner door and took ONE STEP towards the mail cubbies - six more steps would've had me there - Wax hovered in the open door like a fool. I looked at her and said "Come on!" and started to come back to drag her through because she wasn't moving, and just then the alarm started going off.
"It's alarmed!" she said.
"It's probably because you're standing there holding the door open!" I said, but she'd retreated all the way back round the outside of it and so I stepped out - and she let go. And the door shut. And the alarm went off.
"Just shove them in the mail slot and let's get out of here before the cops come and take us away," said Wax, or something to that effect.
I paused to ponder the intricacies of the alarm system, and why the electronic keys wouldn't simply refuse to unlock at all rather than demanding a code, but Wax was urgent. So I dropped the books through the mail slot and they fell on the floor with a hopefully-not-damaging splot (one was, er, antiqueish) and then we walked away as briskly as possible and ate at our favourite restaurant.
"A seeing eye dog could have done a better job with that mission," I said.
"A monkey could have done a better job with that mission," said Wax.
"Yeah, but seeing eye dogs don't even have opposable thumbs," I explained, and we got into a discussion about what seeing eye dogs can and cannot do.
Thank Enya that's over with! Now I can turn the key back in. Although not tomorrow. Tomorrow we have to babysit, because Wax made the spectacularly bad deal of a microwave in exchange for babysitting when the last time we worked ourselves into comas with the sprogs was only Friday.
Then we got to the building. Campus was deserted. My key worked - the door unlocked for me and while I opened the inner door and took ONE STEP towards the mail cubbies - six more steps would've had me there - Wax hovered in the open door like a fool. I looked at her and said "Come on!" and started to come back to drag her through because she wasn't moving, and just then the alarm started going off.
"It's alarmed!" she said.
"It's probably because you're standing there holding the door open!" I said, but she'd retreated all the way back round the outside of it and so I stepped out - and she let go. And the door shut. And the alarm went off.
"Just shove them in the mail slot and let's get out of here before the cops come and take us away," said Wax, or something to that effect.
I paused to ponder the intricacies of the alarm system, and why the electronic keys wouldn't simply refuse to unlock at all rather than demanding a code, but Wax was urgent. So I dropped the books through the mail slot and they fell on the floor with a hopefully-not-damaging splot (one was, er, antiqueish) and then we walked away as briskly as possible and ate at our favourite restaurant.
"A seeing eye dog could have done a better job with that mission," I said.
"A monkey could have done a better job with that mission," said Wax.
"Yeah, but seeing eye dogs don't even have opposable thumbs," I explained, and we got into a discussion about what seeing eye dogs can and cannot do.
Thank Enya that's over with! Now I can turn the key back in. Although not tomorrow. Tomorrow we have to babysit, because Wax made the spectacularly bad deal of a microwave in exchange for babysitting when the last time we worked ourselves into comas with the sprogs was only Friday.
