When I was a child, when my immediate family wasn't visiting relatives on the Catholic side, we'd usually go for singing and hot chocolate on xmas eve - our church was agnostic usually but the songs were more hymns than carols in deference to many of the adults' Christian childhoods, and I always found religious lyrics alienating. Then we'd drive by and look at the ostentatious lights on the houses in the gated suburban communities on the way home. That was pretty much it for xmas traditions, and family visits were about the visiting, without even any special formula for the food (there was usually a lot of it, but that's it).
Here in Finland the traditions are family-oriented. The first few years I came to Finland, when Eldest Deitychild was an infant and the only representative of the next generation, there were Waxfamily gatherings where my mother-in-law had like, enough food to feed the seven adults present for two weeks and her flat festooned in greenery, red satin curtains, straw and red felt and brass traditional Nordic Christmas decor, three kinds of homemade candy with the Swedish gingerbread on the sideboard, and the Christmas Eve dinner was followed by Swedish drinking songs and snaps, wine, cheese, boardgames and puzzles. At that time, there was always plenty of snow at the end of the year too (hasn't happened the last five years or so), so the whole experience was a lovely advertisement for the Finnish holiday, and I was happy to go over to this model and felt no nostalgia for the childhood ones (except missing my family).
Now that my brothers-in-law have four and two children respectively, they have their own family celebrations in addition to the Waxfamily arrangements, which aren't hosted by my mother-in-law anyway. We've had some big holiday dinners hosted by Wax's brother and his wife, which were festive, but all the relaxed and pleasant atmosphere of the evening is removed by the noise of a lot of children and the fussiness that sugar and presents bring.
This is my mother-in-law's last year before retirement and she's mostly moved to a new flat nearby which is too small to host the whole family anyway, so that probably won't be part of whatever Waxfamily does in the future.
This is also the first year she's eaten xmas eve dinner with (just) us. We have a table with leaves this year, so that is doable for the first time on our end. We put out candles and a tablecloth and supplied mashed potatoes and bread and cheese. For three people - and Wax and I each typically eat about half an adult restaurant serving per meal - MIL brought:
- A leg of cold mutton
- Enough chicken and vegetable patés to fill our second-largest platter
- A pan of sauteed mushrooms, which is a traditional xmas dish for their family
- A big salad
- An entire basket of fruit
- A box of homemade chocolate truffles that we didn't even get around to eating
And Wax was deputized to prepare a disturbingly pink
beetroot "herring" salad and a bowl of bright pink vinegared whipped cream on the side.
It took longer to put the food in the fridge and pack it up than to eat it, almost.
I made two kinds of Christmas cookies and some peanut butter cups and took them to brother-in-law's place today, where we went to eat pizza and give the niblings their presents. The cookies always get a warm reception there, and I enjoy making them (obviously eating them too, but making them for other people even more so). It doesn't seem quite as cosy and festive to me, somehow, though. Maybe I'll put cut greenery up or find a way to hang more ornaments without a pet-vulnerable tree next year.
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