23 Jul 2024

cimorene: A very small cat peeking wide-eyed from behind the edge of a blanket (cat)
I've been so worried about him that I have found it difficult to plan, concentrate, or do things for months now... but now in the last week I'm struggling with the realization or idea that I have nonetheless been mentally avoiding it because it's scary.

You can't avoid dealing with your pets'health problems because they're scary, self! The pets are helpless and counting on us to help them, and I'm starting to think that it was really perfectly obvious that his symptoms were worsening for the last couple of months and I should have pursued it then.

I guess it seemed like his status was rather stable to me at the time: low weight, constant discomfort, frequent diarrhea and infrequent vomiting, the latter caused, or so I thought, explicitly by blood sugar fluctuating too fast. But looking back, I think it's been getting worse and I think maybe it was already bad enough to get more help immediately the last time we came back from the vet?

So he now has an abdominal ultrasound scheduled in two days, Thursday. Because I read the last email from his regular diabetes vet the day before yesterday and discovered that somehow I hadn't read it before! I THINK what happened was Expand... ).

But now that Wax has been working and I've been focusing more on him, I am feeling strongly that it's getting worse; and I'm eaten up with worry and also guilt because I keep getting irritable, because when he's hungry and in pain he's very instistent about demanding my help and there's nothing I can do to help, so I am spending hours a day hounded my him climbing on me, biting gently, poking me in the face, licking and clawing my hair, yelling repeatedly in my ear, and following me around trying to destroy, stand on, or knock over everything in the room (because it gets my attention).

Additional: with all the diarrhea we're going through litter at a terrible speed, and our curbside can is over full and smells HORRIBLE constantly. Our Ukrainian refugee tenants have to use it too! One more thing to cope with. I guess I need to take my methylphenidate every day (nearly) even though I'm on vacation (another two weeks).

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cimorene: cartoony drawing of a woman's head in profile giving dubious side-eye (Default)
Cimorene

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