crack au report!

[cimorene]

• the one where bodie's a rich art gallery owner who inherits a pub in the scottish highlands and ray is a mysterious ghost/dream lover thingamajig. i don't use that slash because he's both or neither, or because there's a clever mysterious ambiguity set up, but because the story seems to have been aiming for the latter and missed and landed in a heap of confusion. 


• the one where doyle is a famous fashion photographer doing a pin-up calendar of mostly-naked SAS dudes, including bodie. i have never before read a story that paid this much attention to jock straps.


• the hugely fucking long one where doyle goes undercover at the circus and falls for bodie the trapeze artist. with a side order of "all the secondary characters are gay". 


• the one where bodie's a space!smuggler with an intelligent telepathic acid-breathing pet firelizard, and doyle is the half-alien empath whom he rescues from prison and falls in loooove with. this story is like a horrific mating between anne mcaffrey and mercedes lackey with a dash of off-brand star trek. 


• the one where bodie is a sexually promiscuous king under a curse and doyle is a unicorn's pet virgin.

Comments

[copracat]

the hugely fucking long one where doyle goes undercover at the circus and falls for bodie the trapeze artist. with a side order of "all the secondary characters are gay".

But doesn't the outrageous artwork make it oh, so worthwhile?

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

The thing is, some of these I think, hey, that could be good. But then I remember this is old-skool slash and therefore no, it can't. Not for me anyway. XD

[cimness.livejournal.com]

no, they aren't really, but they're sort of in the neighbourhood of good because the IDEA is so good, you know? you probably couldn't stomach all the oldskool stuff, but you could probably enjoy a more extended plot summary. XD

[cimness.livejournal.com]

who said it wasn't worthwhile? one of the best wednesday afternoons i've spent in a while. OH GOD THE ARTWORK. XD

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

Any summary which excludes the hours of foreplay, lovingly gazing into each other's eyes souls, pining like twelve-year-old girls, etc. which I know must surely be lurking in there somewhere is a good summary. :D

If I didn't have so many plot bunnies already, I'd be tempted to snag some of these ideas. You can never have too many fashion photog/model AUs. (Although Ces's Dom/Lij one made me aware of how little I know about photography and how vague and handwavy I'd have to be, which I hate, so maybe not so much.)

[cimness.livejournal.com]

but maybe from the model's pov? or you could just rip it off from someone else's au. XD

the circus one had so many insane subplots - the owner is a gay skeeze but his wife really loves him. and he beats her. and the animal trainer has a pet tiger which is dying of old age and makes friends with doyle and becomes a plot point. also, he (the animal trainer) is a mute burly hairy gay guy and his boyfriend is one of those swishy Queer Eye guys, who rides horses in drag. standing up. meanwhile, the ringmaster is australian, but can't get work in australia even though he roxxors, because he murdered a man who raped his wife. in self-defense. and everybody is trying to raise money for him, but we never found out what happened to that subplot. the main character is a secret agent, but he actually used to BE in a circus and he quit because his partner on the trapeze was also his gay lover and he fell and died, and so he vowed never to swing on the trapeze again or to love again, but it isn't very hard for his new partner to talk him into it. oh, and also there's a circus dog. and a lecherous little old lady who makes costumes. and some kind of IRA arms-smuggling which is the reason he's undercover in the first place.

[sinden.livejournal.com]

*snarf*choke*spittake*

Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

[cimness.livejournal.com]

the circus one and also the sas pinup calendar one are both totally CLASSIC. i'm sure i will never forget either one. *__*

[emmuzka.livejournal.com]

You almost make me want to read the last two, with the empaths and virgins and yes, unicorns ;)

[thehoyden.livejournal.com]

this story is like a horrific mating between anne mcaffrey and mercedes lackey with a dash of off-brand star trek.

*cries from laughter - horrified, horrified laughter*

[cimness.livejournal.com]

oh god, i couldn't tear my eyes from the empath one. i was imprinted on lackey and mccaffrey as a wee child and so i just. couldn't. stop. even when it became SO SO AWFUL. uh. i'll probably reread it someday. i can't believe i said that. ;.;

but the unicorn one is short and kind of not really serious, humour, so it's not so much a problem. XD

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

LOL! That is really something...

[cimness.livejournal.com]

as you should. AS YOU SHOULD.

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

Oh, and seeing that unicorn one reminded me, I actually do have a lengthy summary for a D/E unicorn fic (http://kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com/378820.html).

[mirabella]

Man, why is Hikago not full of crack AUs? I ask you.

[copracat]

I, um... I have the zine.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

the fandom is a lot smaller, but it does seem for the most part that crack aus have kind of gone out of style... most of these stories are from the 80s. there's also the fact that we've never seen adult versions of the hikago characters in canon. the premises for a lot of aus have to do with what profession people are in.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

LOL!

[perhael.livejournal.com]

the one where doyle is a famous fashion photographer doing a pin-up calendar of mostly-naked SAS dudes, including bodie. i have never before read a story that paid this much attention to jock straps.

I think I'm dying of lolz. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

P.S. I miss youuuuuuu *hearts*

[sinden.livejournal.com]

I have no words. I really don't.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

seriously, SO CLASSIC.

there was even a part about the wardrobe person on set ALTERING BODIE'S JOCKSTRAP to "emphasise" his cock, except you can bet the phrase used was a lot sillier than that.

+ ♥likewise

[cimness.livejournal.com]

löaskjdföakl wax has the "professional dreamer" - you know that one by pamela rose where bodie's a bestselling novelist and canon is his books, and doyle's an obsessed librarian who hits himself on the head and wakes up fantasising that he's doyle and bodie is bodie? omfg. ♥

[copracat]

Oh, oh, the picture with the little glasses!

[cimness.livejournal.com]

YES.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Me too! :D

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Me too again! :D

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

the hugely fucking long one where doyle goes undercover at the circus and falls for bodie the trapeze artist.

And they adopt a girl dog. Called Basil.

I am naming my next girl dog Basil.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

Called Bas for short, but you know they pronounce it "baize"... stifles a horrible joke about what they can name their other pets

[kiwisue.livejournal.com]

Floating over via metafandom and this'n that... the ringmaster's family are in New Zealand, not Australia.

A bit like calling a Canadian an American *g*. There must be a Finnish equivalent!

[cimness.livejournal.com]

that's all right. i'm american.

[kiwisue.livejournal.com]

Well, there you go. And I live in Australia.