star trek recaps: 2x02, "who mourns for adonais?"

[cimorene]

season two is the season of crack in star trek.  this is the episode with greek gods.  the god himself was fugly though, so i deleted all the caps of him.  inside you will find a highly shortened and not strictly accurate recap.  i'm sort of going with the new method i came up with last time, but this one is much shorter because the episode is so incredibly bad.

nineteen caps, including
once again, please excuse the huge involuntary spoiler space.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

so the enterprise is moving along when a giant green disembodied hand appears in space.

it's getting closer and closer no matter what they do.

they keep swerving and stuff, but...

...even kirk's most blatantly suggestive manly heterosexual poses (TM) avail nothing.

it's a real problem.

it comes right up and grabs them so they can't break free. then a giant disembodied head comes on the viewscreen and orders kirk down to the planet.

he tells kirk to bring "his officers" except for "the pointy-eared one", who reminds him of pan.  this is a bad thing because pan "always bored [him]".  there's a brief exchange of ohhoooookay looks, and also kirk getting up close and personal and asking rather tacitly if it's okay, and spock says it is but kirk owes him one in bed.  then kirk leaves and spock has to take over making the manly heterosexual poses.

of course since he said "officers" kirk brought two of three senior officers (mccoy and scott, not spock) and... chekov, a random ensign. oh, plus a random bit of womanflesh who claims to be the ship's "archaeology officer".

so, after the guy (who claims to be apollo, yes, THAT apollo) shows them his golden lyre and toga and his little temple and blusters a bit about how they have to stay and be his slaves, he grabs the girl and takes her off to mack.  so kirk and mccoy ponder and kirk uses the marble temple to practise his manly heterosexual poses some more.

"wow, i've never done my rentboy act in such a tacky place before.  this has a real resort wedding chapel vibe."

"i don't think it's real marble."

i forget why he makes this face, but honestly, look at him--does it matter?

after scotty has tried to jump the guy twice and been flung across the yard and knocked out both times, kirk orders him not to attack him again since he's evidently omnipotent.  so naturally when apollo comes back scotty immediately takes a flying leap at him.  apollo blasts him across the yard, kirk starts forward yelling and apollo... magically ghost-chokes him.  kirk, he was being a moron.  let him die.

kirk's brilliant and desperate plan for the final showdown includes... boyband choreography.* *i might be making this up

as you can see, they haven't had very long to practice their formation.

UHURA: mr spock, i'm getting something... it sounds like "bye bye bye"! SPOCK: can you be certain of that, lieutenant?

SPOCK: captain, is it true that you hope to prevail by performing the choreography to "bye bye bye"? KIRK: and what of it, mr spock?

SPOCK: may i advise against it?

but of course jim's plan is successful, as always, and the distraction the archaeology officer creates enables spock and sulu to destroy apollo's power source with the phaser banks, after which the dude commits suicide.  because she's really lame, the archaeologist has already fallen in love with him inside forty minutes, so she cries perfect crystal tears all the way home. on the other hand, kirk owes spock a favour so you know they have a nice evening.

 

whole gallery, 35 caps.

Comments

[penm.livejournal.com]

*loves on you, like, a lot*

[wild-boys.livejournal.com]

HAH. <3

[retrofit88.livejournal.com]

bwah ha!

I totally don't have the patience to watch whole star trek episodes anymore, but your recaps are so way better than the originals. The selection of images is only slightly less tremendously cool than the text of the recaps. giant disembodied hands! boyband choreography!

[cimness.livejournal.com]

well, i love it more than almost anything, certainly any other tv show, and can hardly conceive of a better hour's entertainment. it's always a bit painful to cull the caps--i start with a couple hundred per episode and go through about three times, trimming more out each time. but i think it's very nice, in the end, to have reduced it down to fifty or so really memorable shots. when i can manage that.

i'm glad you mentioned the boyband choreography. i was so proud of it and then nobody commented. :( and back when i was in star trek nobody really even knew what it was. it was very much a middle-aged fandom.