Cimorene

I was about to say that I welcomed whatever you had to say about it. I'm glad that you've edited to say at least part of it - whatever you feel comfortable with. I don't want to make this all about me, or all about the white feminists who have had the same realisation during this debate, because although it's good that we've had it, in the long run it's not doing anything significant outside our own heads. But I want to answer you anyway because, well, you're a friend and we've had conversations about this before that I would probably feel even worse about if I remembered them in more detail right now.

I can only speak for myself when I say that I guess I thought that to insist on defining feminism based on its history/reality/behaviour instead of out of the dictionary was a kind of "not getting it". I thought it was hurt, blaming feminism for the racism of individual feminists, that led you (all) to define it this way. I believed the illusion that systematic oppression is some sort of massive coincidence of unconnected individual events without broader blame. And I should never have fallen for that one with all the systematic oppression I've seen. I'm sorry I was part of the chorus saying that "it's not for you".