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cimoreneI get what I like to call a social anxiety hangover: after a spike of social anxiety (surrounded by people or performing socially), there's a period of depression, fretfulness, and irritability. This recovery time can last from a few hours up to maybe one or two days, if I've been away on vacation or something. Somehow, being all Red Alert! when out and about drains my emotional energy (or should I say mental attention) reserves and I have to wait for them to refill before I have even a little alertness or patience to spare.
At this point, even though usually after an afternoon out of the house I feel normal again the next day, it's been two days since the horrible shock on Tuesday: the new lecturer was a kindergarten teacher, and she made us hold hands in a circle and play games. Teamwork-building games, emotion-expressing games, and... some games that didn't even seem to have a point at all.
Anything that involves holding hands in a circle basically gets scorn and horror from me of a heat that I only wish would melt off the faces of the people suggesting it. It's like social anxiety PLUS embarrassment squick PLUS cynical loathing for sentimental tripe. Look, kindergarten teachers of the world, if the question starts with "Wouldn't it be fun if we - ?" and the audience are all adults, then the answer is probably "For the love of little green boxes with matching lids, NO."
So this week I've got a gargantuan social anxiety hangover. I decidedly do not enjoy feeling irritable, but on the other hand, wrath is better than nail-biting, so if that's the best coping mechanism my subconscious machinery can manage, I guess I'll have to take it. But I do wish I had more chocolate in the house. In lieu of chocolate I am periodically uploading pictures of hot women to
cimness (I got a Tumblr two days ago from curiosity, and it seems like it could fulfill this picture-posting function admirably)(links to any pictures of hot women will be crossposted to Twitter, though, of course).
At this point, even though usually after an afternoon out of the house I feel normal again the next day, it's been two days since the horrible shock on Tuesday: the new lecturer was a kindergarten teacher, and she made us hold hands in a circle and play games. Teamwork-building games, emotion-expressing games, and... some games that didn't even seem to have a point at all.
Anything that involves holding hands in a circle basically gets scorn and horror from me of a heat that I only wish would melt off the faces of the people suggesting it. It's like social anxiety PLUS embarrassment squick PLUS cynical loathing for sentimental tripe. Look, kindergarten teachers of the world, if the question starts with "Wouldn't it be fun if we - ?" and the audience are all adults, then the answer is probably "For the love of little green boxes with matching lids, NO."
So this week I've got a gargantuan social anxiety hangover. I decidedly do not enjoy feeling irritable, but on the other hand, wrath is better than nail-biting, so if that's the best coping mechanism my subconscious machinery can manage, I guess I'll have to take it. But I do wish I had more chocolate in the house. In lieu of chocolate I am periodically uploading pictures of hot women to
cimness (I got a Tumblr two days ago from curiosity, and it seems like it could fulfill this picture-posting function admirably)(links to any pictures of hot women will be crossposted to Twitter, though, of course).
(no subject)
Date: 20 Mar 2010 02:43 pm (UTC)