cimorene

waxjism: I want the fic where Loki turns into a mare and seduces Odin --
cimorene: It's not Odin. It's a stallion.
waxjism: It is?
cimorene: It's a magical horse that belongs to a giant!

cimorene: I want a fic based on the Viking food menus from Harald, where they just, like - all they do is eat that food.
waxjism: ON A PLANK! NO, ON A SWORD! [Ed.: Harald is an awesome ~viking restaurant full of taxidermy animals and servers dressed as Vikings where they give you plastic Viking helmets to wear and actually serve the food on a plank/sword/whatever. They do give you modern utensils though.]
cimorene: "Chicken à la Lindisfarne! Chicken breast captured from the monastery of Lindisfarne, coated with veta cheese and served with ember baked potatoes, gooseberry jam, honeyed root vegetables and Wine of Wisdom sauce."
waxjism: VOYAGE OF BLUETOOTH! VOYAGE OF GODWINSON!
cimorene: lol bluetooth
waxjism: Bluetooth is a real guy! Harald Blåtand. The device is named after him. IDK why he's called that... I think he had a rotten tooth at the front of his mouth...
cimorene: Basically you don't even need any plot or sex or anything because the menu itself is so funny. Like I could just read the menu and lol.
waxjism: And have.

waxjism: I want the stories about Loki slutting it up in the name of mischief with men, women, giants, flora and fauna, all of the gods, stepmom and stepdad, ~biological mother and father, and of course, when he turned into a milkmaid and had hundreds of babies. And fucked everyone in Midgard or whatever... all the Vikings.
cimorene: ...Yeah. And he can also go south out of Pohjola and have sex with Väinämöinen.
waxjism: And he can cross over into other religions! He can cross over into other religions to see if he can pull some gods there.
cimorene: He did that in Supernatural! He had a thing with Kali! ... No wait. Väinämöinen isn't the hot one.
waxjism: Lemminkäinen. Although Väinämöinen never saw a fair maid he wouldn't bone.
cimorene: Well, I'm sure he can do both of them.