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cimoreneI need to apologize to my friends from the internet in varying degrees of abjection for my absence lately. The demands of school leave me requiring a nap every afternoon on top of going to bed by midnight (which doesn't really help me feel rested AT school, because it doesn't matter when I go to bed, my body ALWAYS regards 6-8 am as the armpit of the middle of the night).
But right now I'm extra EXTRA socially exhausted, because Wednesday I unexpectedly ate lunch with one of my new classmates (+110% social anxiety because I'd never had a conversation with her before, +20% anxiety because I didn't get my usual lunchtime alone-time)(but I like her a lot! She's from the Philippines and her name is Gigi and she doesn't want to have children and her husband is Finnish!), Thursday I was unexpectedly given a rage blackout by this petty bitch who first picked a fight with sweet, shy Amerah and then tried to pick one with me leading with 'What is that girl's name again? Cim?' (I raised a single eyebrow at her and she stopped talking and I left the room, but still: wtaf?), and Friday we took a field trip to Ruissalo and I was friendly to and started conversations with several different groups of people over the course of the day, and then had one of those awkward conversations where you try to come out and Nariko is like "WIFE? Really? Not man? Heeeeee? WOMAN? ... Wow! So she's Finnish, cool!"
Then I spent most of the time since Friday afternoon napping, with breaks for preparing food. Also, there's a low pressure system here now, ugh.
On the plus side, all my coming out experiences at school so far have been at least 80% positive EXCEPT the rage blackout from the teacher that I really like (I don't literally BLACK out during these: I just kind of lose the ability to hear or produce sounds) (also I still like her a lot but every time I talk to her is still kind of poisoned. The residual extra anxiety every time I spoke with her after last Monday's confrontation stopped after Wednesday).
Side note:
I followed a Finnish recipe for a 'Greek pasta salad', and mostly it's pretty delicious except there is SO MUCH OREGANO, OMG. I mean luckily I love oregano, but this is maybe the first time ever that Finland as a whole agreed with me about a spice? And also I tend to want some other seasonings in there too, not just, like, Oregano Salad or Oregano Pizza like they do here. It's weird.
Our ten-year anniversary of our first date is in a couple of months. I'm thinking splurge on expensive feta from the posh cheese counter for it. I mean, we don't really like wine.
But right now I'm extra EXTRA socially exhausted, because Wednesday I unexpectedly ate lunch with one of my new classmates (+110% social anxiety because I'd never had a conversation with her before, +20% anxiety because I didn't get my usual lunchtime alone-time)(but I like her a lot! She's from the Philippines and her name is Gigi and she doesn't want to have children and her husband is Finnish!), Thursday I was unexpectedly given a rage blackout by this petty bitch who first picked a fight with sweet, shy Amerah and then tried to pick one with me leading with 'What is that girl's name again? Cim?' (I raised a single eyebrow at her and she stopped talking and I left the room, but still: wtaf?), and Friday we took a field trip to Ruissalo and I was friendly to and started conversations with several different groups of people over the course of the day, and then had one of those awkward conversations where you try to come out and Nariko is like "WIFE? Really? Not man? Heeeeee? WOMAN? ... Wow! So she's Finnish, cool!"
Then I spent most of the time since Friday afternoon napping, with breaks for preparing food. Also, there's a low pressure system here now, ugh.
On the plus side, all my coming out experiences at school so far have been at least 80% positive EXCEPT the rage blackout from the teacher that I really like (I don't literally BLACK out during these: I just kind of lose the ability to hear or produce sounds) (also I still like her a lot but every time I talk to her is still kind of poisoned. The residual extra anxiety every time I spoke with her after last Monday's confrontation stopped after Wednesday).
Side note:
I followed a Finnish recipe for a 'Greek pasta salad', and mostly it's pretty delicious except there is SO MUCH OREGANO, OMG. I mean luckily I love oregano, but this is maybe the first time ever that Finland as a whole agreed with me about a spice? And also I tend to want some other seasonings in there too, not just, like, Oregano Salad or Oregano Pizza like they do here. It's weird.
Our ten-year anniversary of our first date is in a couple of months. I'm thinking splurge on expensive feta from the posh cheese counter for it. I mean, we don't really like wine.
