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cimoreneSince last summer I have been working (well, work-practicing) 3 days a week and 6 hours a day. At the end of the year meeting with my career counselor and the manager of the store, I broached the subject of getting some cash register training (I won't say I really WANT to do it, but I do want to be trained so I can do it in a pinch), but the manager thought it wasn't really worth putting me through register training (to the company) if I couldn't do at least four, in principle, because of the amount of time the other employees have to spend on the training. We had talked before about how I was handling that amount of work, and whether I wanted to increase it to 4 days a week. I didn't really WANT to work more, but I thought I was getting along fine with 3 at the end of the year; so I said I didn't see why I couldn't try out 4 days a week and we agreed I would do that this year, when I came back after New Year's.
At least, I thought we did. When I talked to my counselor the first week back he said he thought I hadn't made up my mind yet, and I told him in response that I had decided to do four. And I did the first week! But then the second week I felt kind of extremely dead on Tuesday morning and just did not go, betting that the manager was on the same page as my couselor (and also he wouldn't get mad even if he wasn't), and he was. But I was so prepared when I arrived last Wednesday in CASE he was surprised and I had to explain my absence that even though he was not surprised, I just kind of blurted out "I am planning to work four days after this week. I did it last week, and it was fine! I think I can do it no trouble!"
Of course this was completely incorrect? I mean, it's what I decided at the end of November, and I thought it was true then, and I had mentally rehearsed it and all that. But it's not true anymore. Since the new year I've had approximately zero energy, mental, physical, or emotional. When people talk to me in the afternoon the last couple of weeks I actually struggle to dredge up words and assemble them into a sentence. I've been so low-energy that I give up on forcing myself to eat something at dinnertime because I feel too tired to make a decision about it!
So that was last Wednesday. I need to tell the counselor this and, I guess, amend my decision back to three. It seems clear that working four days a week in the month of January, at least, is not in the cards, and I remember being so tired I felt dead in last... February and March at least? Before I kind of thought it was the other store being less copacetic and more physically demanding. But January might have been affecting me too.
Since then I haven't really had the mental energy to put the explanation into Finnish, although I obviously knew right away that it was silly to tell them both that. In fact, I was supposed to arrange a meeting with the manager last week and then call my counselor about it, but I just felt too tired to deal with it. I didn't forget in the sense of like, not remembering it at all, but I did sort of ... intermittently forget and remember and every time I remembered, say to myself, "I've definitely got to deal with that the next time I come back by the office... I'm not up to it right now, and besides, I'm doing something." Sigh.
At least, I thought we did. When I talked to my counselor the first week back he said he thought I hadn't made up my mind yet, and I told him in response that I had decided to do four. And I did the first week! But then the second week I felt kind of extremely dead on Tuesday morning and just did not go, betting that the manager was on the same page as my couselor (and also he wouldn't get mad even if he wasn't), and he was. But I was so prepared when I arrived last Wednesday in CASE he was surprised and I had to explain my absence that even though he was not surprised, I just kind of blurted out "I am planning to work four days after this week. I did it last week, and it was fine! I think I can do it no trouble!"
Of course this was completely incorrect? I mean, it's what I decided at the end of November, and I thought it was true then, and I had mentally rehearsed it and all that. But it's not true anymore. Since the new year I've had approximately zero energy, mental, physical, or emotional. When people talk to me in the afternoon the last couple of weeks I actually struggle to dredge up words and assemble them into a sentence. I've been so low-energy that I give up on forcing myself to eat something at dinnertime because I feel too tired to make a decision about it!
So that was last Wednesday. I need to tell the counselor this and, I guess, amend my decision back to three. It seems clear that working four days a week in the month of January, at least, is not in the cards, and I remember being so tired I felt dead in last... February and March at least? Before I kind of thought it was the other store being less copacetic and more physically demanding. But January might have been affecting me too.
Since then I haven't really had the mental energy to put the explanation into Finnish, although I obviously knew right away that it was silly to tell them both that. In fact, I was supposed to arrange a meeting with the manager last week and then call my counselor about it, but I just felt too tired to deal with it. I didn't forget in the sense of like, not remembering it at all, but I did sort of ... intermittently forget and remember and every time I remembered, say to myself, "I've definitely got to deal with that the next time I come back by the office... I'm not up to it right now, and besides, I'm doing something." Sigh.
