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cimoreneWent to Turku for my meeting with my career counselor yesterday. Because of the pandemic, I hadn't been there in a couple of years. The downtown area is still impassible because they've been constructing the underground parking garage that nobody wanted or needed under the market square (which was also the bus hub) for like three years. Bribery still rules the day in Turku city planning, and the businesses that owned the land under the market square wanted the city to buy the land from them and build an underground parking garage literally across the street from an extant underground parking garage that is NEVER full, so it happened even after years of protests from basically everyone and even after the initial excavations found archeological remains. Walking through downtown is a huge hassle now, and the market square is a huge eyesore. 🙃
My career counselor and I talked over the surprise outcome of our last meeting with the manager of the store I'd been at from May through February - after such a long work practice, and with no inkling of anything wrong, we both thought I would probably be hired there, at least temporarily, at least in some respect, and we were both caught flat-footed by the refusal (not even with 50% salary repayment from the government). Because while in retrospect I'm feeling positive about both the break and the possibility of finding something better, the fact that the counselor and I were both completely surprised by the development seemed... bad? I wanted to understand the reasoning and what the manager was actually saying, for one, but I left last week's meeting mostly confused. The manager was full of praises for my work and my value as a team member, which goes some way to explaining why it was a surprise, because alongside that was just sort of a vague list of gently regretful reasons.
He spent a lot of time talking about my unsuitability for working the main cash register (even though I'd already agreed with him, but perhaps he had to explain it for my counselor too), and then a long time talking about my energy level - I was so tired I just wanted to sleep through January and from mid-November I was feeling worn to a thread pretty much, but he reiterated multiple times that it was evident I was worn out but that it wasn't a bad thing and everyone could see how hard I was trying and doing my best the whole time. But my energy was an issue we had talked about explicitly, both with the counselor and without him, even before November, in relation to increasing to four days a week. I was highly doubtful whether I could manage it for a long time, finally agreed to try in January, and then quickly discovered I couldn't. My counselor interpreted this dwelling on the issue as a sign that it actually WAS a problem in spite of what he said, and was perhaps the real reason he didn't want to hire me (even though in the meeting I took at face value when he said he didn't blame me and praised me for doing my best etc - but my linguistic comprehension as well as my cultural context is lower than the counselor's so he's probably right). And he was angry about that, because it's not a legitimate reason, in his opinion, when it was raised up-front and discussed openly and honestly on the worker's part.
I did get the impression that four days a week was very important, so perhaps that's why the energy level was relevant, that they won't hire people for less than four days a week. But if so, they never state it explicitly, so it would have to be some kind of secret (illegal?) requirement. The manager also caught me Friday and said he would love to give me a glowing reference wherever I'm applying next, and "It's just that we need cashiers so badly right now". That explanation is also plausible (although they've just hired two new ones in the last couple of weeks), so perhaps that's the larger part of his concern - that cashiers are more urgently needed than store workers. I still feel annoyed about the clarity of this communication, but not upset on the whole.
On an abrupt tangent, I had the weirdest minestrone ever at Turku's ancient and iconic downtown bar-brewery-restaurant, Koulu (social security, whenever they require you to do more than 3 hours of meetings or whatever in one place, also pays for your lunch, and they do this by giving you a voucher for a nearby restaurant; Koulu is the one closest to my career counselor's office). I like minestrone. I even like Olive Garden minestrone. I even like minestrone thrown together from canned and dried pantry ingredients! I make it often, okay. But this minestrone had only one type of beans, the pasta in it was literal spaghetti, the soup base was obviously canned tomato puree - no other texture - and aside from a VERY basic Italian flavor profile, it tasted overwhelmingly of pepper. It wasn't Indian-food hot, but it was about as hot as a jar of mild salsa from the store. But the heat was JUST pepper. The vegetables were skinny slices of carrot and bell pepper. I picked all of those and the beans out and then gave up and ate French fries. I actually like mild salsa! Just like...not as a soup! Also, this is FINLAND! Who pours a whole jar of black pepper into their soup pot? Ugh. Now I am annoyed that I didn't get minestrone.
My career counselor and I talked over the surprise outcome of our last meeting with the manager of the store I'd been at from May through February - after such a long work practice, and with no inkling of anything wrong, we both thought I would probably be hired there, at least temporarily, at least in some respect, and we were both caught flat-footed by the refusal (not even with 50% salary repayment from the government). Because while in retrospect I'm feeling positive about both the break and the possibility of finding something better, the fact that the counselor and I were both completely surprised by the development seemed... bad? I wanted to understand the reasoning and what the manager was actually saying, for one, but I left last week's meeting mostly confused. The manager was full of praises for my work and my value as a team member, which goes some way to explaining why it was a surprise, because alongside that was just sort of a vague list of gently regretful reasons.
He spent a lot of time talking about my unsuitability for working the main cash register (even though I'd already agreed with him, but perhaps he had to explain it for my counselor too), and then a long time talking about my energy level - I was so tired I just wanted to sleep through January and from mid-November I was feeling worn to a thread pretty much, but he reiterated multiple times that it was evident I was worn out but that it wasn't a bad thing and everyone could see how hard I was trying and doing my best the whole time. But my energy was an issue we had talked about explicitly, both with the counselor and without him, even before November, in relation to increasing to four days a week. I was highly doubtful whether I could manage it for a long time, finally agreed to try in January, and then quickly discovered I couldn't. My counselor interpreted this dwelling on the issue as a sign that it actually WAS a problem in spite of what he said, and was perhaps the real reason he didn't want to hire me (even though in the meeting I took at face value when he said he didn't blame me and praised me for doing my best etc - but my linguistic comprehension as well as my cultural context is lower than the counselor's so he's probably right). And he was angry about that, because it's not a legitimate reason, in his opinion, when it was raised up-front and discussed openly and honestly on the worker's part.
I did get the impression that four days a week was very important, so perhaps that's why the energy level was relevant, that they won't hire people for less than four days a week. But if so, they never state it explicitly, so it would have to be some kind of secret (illegal?) requirement. The manager also caught me Friday and said he would love to give me a glowing reference wherever I'm applying next, and "It's just that we need cashiers so badly right now". That explanation is also plausible (although they've just hired two new ones in the last couple of weeks), so perhaps that's the larger part of his concern - that cashiers are more urgently needed than store workers. I still feel annoyed about the clarity of this communication, but not upset on the whole.
On an abrupt tangent, I had the weirdest minestrone ever at Turku's ancient and iconic downtown bar-brewery-restaurant, Koulu (social security, whenever they require you to do more than 3 hours of meetings or whatever in one place, also pays for your lunch, and they do this by giving you a voucher for a nearby restaurant; Koulu is the one closest to my career counselor's office). I like minestrone. I even like Olive Garden minestrone. I even like minestrone thrown together from canned and dried pantry ingredients! I make it often, okay. But this minestrone had only one type of beans, the pasta in it was literal spaghetti, the soup base was obviously canned tomato puree - no other texture - and aside from a VERY basic Italian flavor profile, it tasted overwhelmingly of pepper. It wasn't Indian-food hot, but it was about as hot as a jar of mild salsa from the store. But the heat was JUST pepper. The vegetables were skinny slices of carrot and bell pepper. I picked all of those and the beans out and then gave up and ate French fries. I actually like mild salsa! Just like...not as a soup! Also, this is FINLAND! Who pours a whole jar of black pepper into their soup pot? Ugh. Now I am annoyed that I didn't get minestrone.
