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cimoreneon israel and palestine. sample week in the american media.
monday's news: " for no apparent reason, members of the israeli army crossed into the west bank and ran over some school children! the israeli prime minister says that they can't be expected to play nice when the palestinian terrorists are still bombing people." [![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bananasrock: ugh. ughughugh.]
tuesday's news: "today, some a twenty palestinian apartment buildings were demolished by israeli tanks in what the general of the army calls 'an accident--coughcough.' palestinians, somewhat upset, are rioting in the streets." [bananasrock: I HATE THE ISRAELI PRIME MINISTER]
wednesday's news: "sharon has urged the us, as well as his own secret army lover, to 'bomb the hell out of those stinking palestinians,' citing their recent riots in the streets as evidence that they are animals. 'just don't hit any good jews,' the prime minister said."
thursday's news: "a 'liberal' student group at the israeli university has released a statement detailing why really israel ought to belong to them. 'it says that it was our holy land,' said a spokesperson. 'see, in the bible. right there.'"
friday's news: "president bush was displeased to announce today, which he indicated with a frowny face, that his golfing match with israeli prime minister sharon (who he called 'ari') has had to be postponed due to 'pressing military matters.' 'i didn't inquire what he's doing,' said the president, 'but i'm sure it's important. not that golf isn't important. but sometimes we have to prevaricate our priortizing.' sources in the middle east indicate sharon may be personally supervising the the first deployment of a new israeli genetic weapon designed to cause a 'mostly harmless' disease that would paint a red target on the forehead of every member of the muslim faith. 'it won't hurt a bit,' say doctors, defending the decision. 'this is a major medical advance.'"
monday's news: " for no apparent reason, members of the israeli army crossed into the west bank and ran over some school children! the israeli prime minister says that they can't be expected to play nice when the palestinian terrorists are still bombing people." [
bananasrock: ugh. ughughugh.]tuesday's news: "today, some a twenty palestinian apartment buildings were demolished by israeli tanks in what the general of the army calls 'an accident--coughcough.' palestinians, somewhat upset, are rioting in the streets." [
bananasrock: I HATE THE ISRAELI PRIME MINISTER]wednesday's news: "sharon has urged the us, as well as his own secret army lover, to 'bomb the hell out of those stinking palestinians,' citing their recent riots in the streets as evidence that they are animals. 'just don't hit any good jews,' the prime minister said."
thursday's news: "a 'liberal' student group at the israeli university has released a statement detailing why really israel ought to belong to them. 'it says that it was our holy land,' said a spokesperson. 'see, in the bible. right there.'"
friday's news: "president bush was displeased to announce today, which he indicated with a frowny face, that his golfing match with israeli prime minister sharon (who he called 'ari') has had to be postponed due to 'pressing military matters.' 'i didn't inquire what he's doing,' said the president, 'but i'm sure it's important. not that golf isn't important. but sometimes we have to prevaricate our priortizing.' sources in the middle east indicate sharon may be personally supervising the the first deployment of a new israeli genetic weapon designed to cause a 'mostly harmless' disease that would paint a red target on the forehead of every member of the muslim faith. 'it won't hurt a bit,' say doctors, defending the decision. 'this is a major medical advance.'"
