cimorene

cim thing: we have lots of tornadoes; a baptist church got mostly-destroyed while there were people in it praying.
cim thing: they interviewed people and one said that she just didn't understand why god had chosen to destroy their church, but leave untouched the adult bookstore down the street
fabricatedvoice: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAA

GOD LOVES PORN! GOD HATES BAPTISTS! ...or wait.

cim thing: god's PUBLICIST didn't want him to make it all... obvious?
cim thing: that he loves baptists.
cim thing: so his publicist was like, smite a baptist church!
fabricatedvoice: WAHAHHA
cim thing: spare an adult bookstore!
cim thing: to throw them off the scent!
fabricatedvoice: god's publicist knew that god was favoring those damn baptists too much, and was like "uh UH honey, no way"
cim thing: god: can i grant their prayers in public?
cim thing: publicist: well.
fabricatedvoice: and god was like "you just shut up, these people know how to worship"
cim thing: publicist: only if they're not wearing a WWJD bracelet, and no holding hands.
fabricatedvoice: god: i don't know if i can do that
cim thing: god: okay, but after ONE... can i go back to smiting the adult bookstores :-(?
fabricatedvoice: publicist: if it makes the front page
cim thing: god: i'll see to that
cim thing: publicist: no, i don't trust you. i will.
fabricatedvoice: god: fuck you
cim thing: publicist: darling, not so rowdy. ::smooths dress:: this is a vuitton.
fabricatedvoice: god: you know what i hate you, i can promote myself, i AM god after all
cim thing: god: stupid fucking gay porn. ::muttermutter::
cim thing: baptists: praise the LORD, for he hath SEEN it all and i hath KNOWN the light of GOOOOOOOD, what did i say?
cim thing: other baptists: PREACH IT!
cim thing: god: ::covering eyes with hands, crying:: ::smites::
fabricatedvoice: anglicans: EXCLUSION, EXCLUSION, GOD'S A FAKE
cim thing: adult bookstore owner: he can take all the playboys he wants as long as he leaves my rabbit dildo and the gay porn!
cim thing: god's publicist: don't worry, honey. ::slips adult bookstore owner some money::
fabricatedvoice: baptists: OH, GOD, I THOUGHT YOU REALLY CARED ABOUT US
cim thing: god: can i answer? PLEASE?
cim thing: publicist: let them stew in it for a while. maybe the jews really WERE the chosen people, fuckers!
fabricatedvoice: jews: TOLD YOU SO, YOU FUCKS
fabricatedvoice: jews: LETS HAVE LATKES IN CELEBRATION

cim thing: claire: oy vey.
fabricatedvoice: cim: it's a kerfluffle!