cimorene

i'm innocently chatting with ray and claire and in comes mom, twenty minutes after they were supposed to have left, needing to search the internet for a recipe to take to the cooking party. i let her have the computer because it's dangerous to attempt to speak to her.

mom: why isn't it printing? why isn't there a print button? (there is, but i knew if i told her where it was she would be unable to find it and get mad, thinking it was my fault.)
mom: where is the print button? i told it to print and it's not printing. oh, [bitterly] ha! print PREVIEW. but is there a PRINT?
mom: i SAID, how do you make it print?
me: it's in the same place it always is. under 'file.'
mom: no, that isn't the same, because there's usually a, a button that's also easy to find!
mom: [to dog] you look depressed. are you just sleepy? [to me] how about you? are you just tired? or depressed? [this despite the fact that to her certain knowledge i am chemically depressed and recently went off medication.]
me: [trying not to yell] i'm always depressed.
mom: oh. well, what's the deal, is it better being depressed here than at school with your medicine [which i don't have because i can't afford it and they said that since i am not in school they won't buy it for me]?
me: it's better anywhere else.
mom: so are you regretting stopping school?
me: since i didn't stop, i couldn't say one way or the other.
mom: well, [exasperated] 'taking a leave' then. do you regret taking academic leave for the semester? and losing medical?

after withholding psychiatric medicine as punishment, how can you conceivably presume to ... i don't even know if she was actually trying to express anything or not, let alone sympathy, but it boggles the mind that she could try to discuss it and think i wouldn't get annoyed.

the FUCK?

it's going to take me like three years of not speaking to her before i can deal with her again once i get away from her.