cimorene

so wax told me cutehtml had a global search-and-replace function for all open documents, which enabled me to update my email address on allllllll the fic all over the website, and then i got lost in a maze of centering and un-centering titles, fixing the links at the bottoms of things and adding 80% width tables to the fics so they don't all go out to the edges of the screen. well, it's possibly a work in progress, but i've done a lot, and i noticed that that series of elijah wood/daniel radcliffe pre-slash Short-Short Stories of Ultimate Evil--were only linked from my page at the rightthisway.net-wide harry potter site, proclivities. and not in the lotr rps or the harry potter parts of my site or the non-flash mirror.

random: every time i read an interview with them or one of these songs pops up on my playlist the impulse to slash kelly and michelle gets stronger. republican!slash? ::weeps:: may i never sink so low.

ah, so, i fixed that! and then... i wrote a part six of it. edit: now with tons of established dom/billy-ness, thanks to the cheerleading (can you cheer for a fictional pairing?) of mcee.

you may not remember it, but all the old parts are here (there are five).

and here is part six.

muertos de sed vi, elijah wood/daniel radcliffe pre-slash.

so many things are so surreal that he doesn't have time for all of them. he hasn't filmed rotk for five years, but until it was out in the theaters and the last round of publicity appearances was over, it wasn't really over. he's reading bad scripts because dom and billy advocate it as a fun escape from relentlessly good and artsy ones, and he finds himself thinking about making one for the money, even though he has enough money to never work another millisecond in his life. he's living in his mother's back yard, and his little sister has moved out, but now that she doesn't live one yard away she's a lot fonder of leaving news clippings and illegible notes taped to his door and free fresh-baked breakfast on his kitchen table. he's seeing less of her, but he's eating better.

billy comes over and opens his refrigerator out of curiosity to find it filled with spoiled chinese food. 'ugh!' says billy, holding his nose, and makes elijah clean the kitchen.

'what have you been up to?' says billy, lounging inelegantly on elijah's favorite barstool and eating easter-colored peanut m&m's.

elijah has, as a matter of fact, spent the last month debating with himself whether he can really call dan, now that he has the number. he wrote it on his hand, against his better judgement, the first time, and he memorized it before he could stop himself. 'uh,' says lijah, 'oh. reading. shit, you know... nothing?' he offers the last tentatively, but he can't fool billy. billy puts his hands on his hips like an aging queen and raises his eyebrows. 'i don't know,' says elijah unhappily.

'uh-huh. DOM!'

it figures. where one of them goes, the other follows. dom enters the room like a batter sliding home, skidding on his scruffy sneakers right into the edge of the counter. he flops halfway into billy's lap and opens his mouth for a green m&m. billy puts it on his tongue and flicks his nose with a fingertip. dom mock-bites and makes an unconvincing growling noise. elijah has smeared congealed pizza grease down the length of his forearm, trying to stuff a box in the trash can without looking. he looks around helplessly for more trash bags.

'what's up, mate?' says dom, and scarfs another handful of pastel candy.

billy is nothing if not prompt. 'he's a mess,' says billy.

elijah whines, 'literally and figuratively.' he can't get a paper towel from the rack without letting what used to be a pizza a very long time ago fall on the floor. dom oozes from one side of billy to the other, spinning the stool around, to get elijah a towel. the stool spins, billy squeaks indignantly, and dom shows all his teeth in an alarming grin. then the phone rings and elijah opens his mouth, but before he can say anything, billy has answered it.

'hello,' he chirps.

lijah scowls and rips the paper towel roll from dom's hands. 'shit, shit, shit.'

'what?' says dom, surprised. 'you missed a spot--'

billy is making a face that elijah would want to take a picture of if he weren't looking head-on at at least several years of merciless ribbing. he's got his mouth open to speak, and he's nodding but can't get a word in, and finally he just interrupts. 'lijah,' he says brightly, 'it's for you.'

'that's the other one,' says dan. 'it's billy, isn't it, the other hobbit. is dom there?'

'uh, yeah,' says elijah, and hopes that he's not blushing. he cleares his throat and smiles wanly at dom and billy. 'yeah, they're here.'

'cool.' an awkward little pause. elijah looks at the ceiling.

'listen--'

'okay, then--'

elijah stops and starts again and so does dan. 'go ahead.'

'go. oh. if you're busy then i guess i'd better.' he'd better not have called in the first place, but he seems to be trying so hard, he's probably gritting his teeth, apparently glaringly curious, or maybe just a little crestfallen. he's so fifteen years old that it hurts.

'ah, no,' says elijah, giving up on the paper towel. oh, for god's sake, says his internal voice, hang up. but he wipes his hands on his pants, and leaves the room, cupping his hand around the receiver. he almost trips on the second bar stool, which dom's kicked into the middle of the room and is resting his feet in, on his way out. 'i've got a minute.'

'i'm just saying i was right,' dom is saying when he comes back.

'today, the last word, tomorrow, the world,' billy retorts. 'dominic has your birthday present somewhere in there, elijah.' he throws a pink m&m and it hits elijah's forehead.

meanwhile, dom has emerged from the brown paper bag. 'i know it's not your birthday yet,' he's saying innocently, 'but we got drunk last night and bought them and then we didn't want to wait.' and he turns it upside down in front of elijah, who puts out his hands futilely to try to catch a stack of five books, a few red and blue boxed action figures, and three dvds. most of it's on the floor and he's left staring at dan's face in miniature, on a barbie doll.