cimorene

Driver's license learner permit acquired! Total cost:

Application fee: 25€
Driving lessons: 875€
ADHD tax: 152€

I'm going through the obligatory little quizzes and informational videos about traffic safety and they've been machine translated without proofreading and then dubbed into English with an AI that speeds up or slows down its talking speed sometimes multiple times per sentence to ensure that it takes exactly the same amount of time in English as in Finnish (which means a lot of surreally slow talking that sounds like a tape got stuck in the player and might catch fire soon).

I got a great idea that I was going to make image posts on Tumblr for my top lists of fountain pen ink (favorite inks and inks at the top of my to-buy list), but you need good swatches for that. Or I mean, that was my vision: the whole point is they're pretty.

And so I went to my favorite ink review blog, Mountain of Ink, and discovered that she's got a no-rightclick javascript over all her individual ink swatch images. Obviously, since I'm a 42-year-old millenial who has been using computers since I was a toddler, I could get around this, but I don't want to use her images if she doesn't want people to use them. (I would only have done so in the good-faith belief that normal credit and linkback was all that courtesy required. And I would have earnestly recommended her blog too, because that's what I always do!)

So that means I'd have to make and photograph my own ink swatches. Making's easy (if slightly time-consuming), but taking good photos of them is hard! Like here's some swatches I had knocking around in my folder: my favorite CRAZY expensive ink, Sailor Ink Studio 160 (a light minty green); my favorite all-purpose ink, J Herbin Vert Réséda (a bright teal with a very slight leaning towards green); a lovely dark moody ink, J Herbin Poussière de Lune (a saturated reddish plum purple).

click for bigger

See, it's overcast but bright today - the sky is a solid opaque cool milky white. I took these photos two feet from an open window, with my bright light therapy sunlamp shining from the other side at the same distance. And the color reproduction is still not good! You can see it in the whites - everything looks cooler and dimmer than reality.

Sure, I could color correct them with an image manipulation program, but I think that defeats the point of swatches. And I'm not into it enough to, like, sign up for a Skillshare course in photographing art. So IDK. Maybe I will get more into making swatches. I actually bought a glass dip pen for this exact purpose a couple of years ago, only I broke the tip of the pen the first time I used it and then I didn't buy another (I have regular dip pens though so it's not really necessary).

A few weeks ago I trimmed my hair slightly too short. My intention is to always be able to tuck it behind my ears, but although I could then when it was all stretched out (right before washing), it shortens a bunch after washing because the front bits are the curliest, and now I have to wear a barrette or a headband constantly to keep it back again.

This has been an exceptionally cool summer so far. I think the season has been drifting later though, and we can probably expect the warmest part to be in the end of July and August again, so maybe it will even out. But right now it's past Midsummer and I have only worn shorts outside twice, and one of the times it was too cold and I had to go in and change. Having the warmest winter ever and then following it with a cold summer... it's weird. It's more pleasant than record highs though, probably (which are still not hot like my childhood in Alabama, but unlike there, there's very little air conditioning here, and there's also a lack of cultural knowledge and preparation for heat: people don't dress appropriately or take advantage of shade, for example, and employers don't make allowances or arrangements to help people cool off). It's definitely better than long droughts like we had a few years ago, but it's still uncanny.

In my dream last night I was trying to remember the correct route through Turku's student village (lived there my first year in Finland and walked all around it with the dog) and stumbled into a bunch of political gatherings both for and against the establishment of a new community of nuns in Finland (lol) that were going to be in the student village (impossible because they're not students), and were causing controversy, among other reasons, because their habits were too sexy (?), only then I walked by them in a procession and they were just wearing normal shapeless floor-length black robes but with yellowed lace tabards over top that looked like someone's granny crocheted them as a table runner.

I can't believe with all our technology there's not a solution to the way low pressure fucks up my brain.

Wow, the author of this fanfiction fully does not realize how fountain pens work at all. Which is fine: all you had to do was not touch on how the pen worked and nobody would have noticed! Or you could've looked it up.

Or anything other than describing red ink writing that was done with a fountain pen as "a red fountain pen".

Bonus info: fountain pen ink dries up in the pen, which can ruin it if you're not lucky, if it lies unused for long enough (how long to dry up depends on the pen, and it's longer if stored point-down, but it can be as little as less than a week; it takes longer than that to ruin a pen, though). Fountain pen ink in the bottle also degrades over time. It can spoil or grow micro organisms and also can break down chemically, but evaporation is perhaps the biggest risk. The hobbyist sphere seems to agree that typical shelf life is "ten to sixty years" (optimally: in glass, sealed as airtight as possible, protected from heat and light and no contaminants introduced), so it's not impossible you could still use ink from a bottle from the 1940s, but it's highly unlikely.

I ran out of OTC antihistamines last week (loratidine) and it's getting a bit uncomfortable. I went over the bedroom floor with a static dust cloth but I can still smell dust in there especially, and it's maddening. I don't usually have this problem in there, and it's not like I'm usually great at dusting, so idk what changed— sinuses just annoyed by going so long without relief? I could have walked to the pharmacy on any weekday, but I don't like to contemplate more than one intimidating task at a time.

There are also flowers now (though I don't think I'm allergic to pollen probably, or not much), although I wish there were more of them. Some of our tulips are finished, and the cowslips, and the last of the daffodils, but the daylilies are opening and forget-me-nots and veronicas are open. A foxglove came back this year - in the same corner where there was one before, so it must've been planted by the old lady who owned this house at least fifteen years ago and planted so many perennials; but apparently it's biennial, so this is a descendant of the one we last saw four years ago perhaps. Possibly we should plant some more there to give them a better chance of continuing to self-seed. Also the striped tulips from the bag of 100 bulbs we planted two years ago are just at the end of their lives, and they're so cool. There are only four of them, and we would love to have more, maybe a whole bed, but I can't figure out what variety they are. I was comparing pictures at the nursery where we bought the bulbs, but they don't look quite right. They sort of look like Tulipa "Hemisphere" based on a web search, and that's a Triumph variety. (Nursery website doesn't list those, but they might not have sold them last year?)

Kind of close shot of a striated red and white tulip in our yard

I have an appointment with the private doctor to get the driving fitness certificate now. In theory we expect it to go smoothly from this point (apart from the unfair fact that I have to pay an extra hundred-something euros for this dubiously-useful medical certificate, but that isn't a logistical problem), and I can start driving lessons the week after next.

Last week Wax and I both noticed a low, constant noise coming from the toaster. Sort of high insect humming? This toaster was Wax's mom's and we've been using it since our last toaster broke shortly after her mom died (2020?), but I think her mom had it for quite a long time (2016ish?). It's definitely pretty old for a toaster, so I guess it retires honorably.

We've bought several toasters that broke very suddenly after comparatively short lives before. I went through a period when Smeg appliances started appearing more on social media of wanting one of theirs, though never enough to have paid as much as they cost; but then I read a bunch of reviews of them and concluded they're totally not worth it. And we definitely are not intensive enough toast users to justify the cost of a professional one. I resent the unnecessary ugliness of basic appliances though! There's no reason they couldn't all be reasonably cute, instead of half of them looking like they're trying to blend in on the men's hygiene aisle!

The other night I dreamed we were baking a coffee-flavored layer cake with chocolate icing. I told Wax, and yesterday she made a boiled chocolate cake with half the chocolate replaced with espresso, with 70% dark ganache instead of icing. It came out denser than usual, each of the layers only a few cm high after baking, but it did cook all the way through. Eating a piece is a bit like eating chocolate cake, and a bit like eating a handmade chocolate truffle.

We still haven't managed to take a walk yet on any day that didn't already require an emergency trip to the store in the last... month? Our goal remains walking together every day weather permits, and we continue to not make progress. Forming habits is very hard for people with ADHD, but it's quite frustrating.

One thing about updating the decorative arts and design history blog is that my kneejerk loathing of the term "inspo" has me struggling multiple times a week with the strong impulse to block everyone who reblogs my posts with that tag.

It's good for me somehow, probably.

I'm currently exhausted because the spring that pushes the latch bolt out of the kitchen-hall door broke last night after midnight and we spent several hours fixing it this afternoon. Wax took the equivalent spring out of the lockbox of the dining-livingroom door because unfortunately the lockbox is a pre-1940 model and the springs are not manufactured anymore, nor are the parts interchangeable with the later springs from the 40s- model that are still in production, nor can the whole lockbox be easily switched (because the spindle and hole for it are not the same circumference and the boxes themselves can be different sizes). However, the two lockboxes aren't identical. In fact, it looks like the one that broke is the oldest one in the house. She had to squish the spring a bit to get it in, and it wasn't exactly the same shape and size, so we are nervous that it may break soon. (She did all the hard bits with tools, not trusting me not to injure myself, and I cleaned the insides of the lockboxes with q-tips dipped in vinegar and then oiled them with q-tips dipped in mineral oil.) Wax hopes we can get the blacksmith to make a new spring for the spot when that happens, rather than having to replace the entire mechanism, but we don't know how plausible that is.

We can't do without this door and its latch, but the lockboxes on the other doors are all other sizes so they can't be swapped. We need it latched to keep the cats apart! They're making progress, and they've touched noses now, but Tristana still retreats any time Sipuli gets a little excited, and they are only meeting with Sipuli on the leash.

The other day I saw a post about American politics on Tumblr that was just a screenshot of someone's tweet that said something like, "Fascism won't make America great. Universal healthcare, universal preschool, housing the homeless, and free higher education would make America great." By this standard, I'm living in utopia! (Or, well, living in Greatness-ia.) Finland has all that.

AND YET...

My efforts to get a driver's licence continue. Basically,

Signed up for driving school for lessons in how to drive stick. My US license expired more than ten years ago and I've never driven in Finland.

Online information indicates I should have to apply in person, but the customer service rep told me that I can disregard that and just apply for a first licence the normal way.

The normal way: a brief online form that will instantly issue a printable and downloadable permit that allows you to take the theory test and to drive with an instructor in a car.

But you can't do that if you have any of a list of health conditions which require a doctor's certificate. And the list includes ADHD.

There's a new law which seems to say you can't get these certificates from the health center anymore, but I called to check. The booking nurse at the health center thought they didn't do them anymore, but she also agreed that it seemed unfair. But she checked with two people and no, the public health service really aren't issuing certificates for driving for ANYBODY anymore.

I called the one private doctor center in town. According to their website, the minimum cost of one of these certificates is over 100€, just like waxjism predicted. Their receptionist didn't even know who to book me with (does ADHD require a specialist)? She'll call me back.

If it does, it will be like at least 150€ instead, because that's the base price for specialists.

And even worse, the list of conditions that now require EVERY SINGLE PERSON who has ever been diagnosed with them to get a certificate from a private doctor - which means in most cases also a NEW doctor, not their own GP who has treated them before - is not just ADHD. Everybody with any of these conditions (this is not the entire list either) is now taxed, at minimum, an extra hundred bucks for the privilege of getting a driver's licence in Finland, as of two months ago:

diabetes

any cardio issues including hypertension or a heart murmur

sleep apnea or insomnia or any other sleep disorders

any past severe depressions or recurrent panic disorders, or personality disorders

dyslexia

autism spectrum

any neurological conditions or injuries including migraines or any past brain or spinal injury

Insane. It's not just the financial burden for all these people, either; a brand-new doctor, a stranger, is at a disadvantage for determining if most of the conditions meant here are a danger or not.

So I'm waiting for a call back and Sipuli really doesn't understand why I won't take her outside in the sunshine.

Currently, Wax and I are the little old ladies who only drive once a week. We live in a tiny town whose downtown is only a few streets across, on a small island, and we typically drive to the supermarket to get groceries once a week, not because walking there takes more than ten minutes, but because bringing a week's worth of groceries home (without a sled and a bunch of snow, or a little red wagon that we don't have) is uncomfortable on foot. Several winters in a row we have caused problems for our poor car by not driving often enough or for long enough when it was cold.

On the other hand, we have to have the car now for when we do need to leave town (buses into Kaarina and Turku from here are a pain; the regional 24h veterinary ER is on the other side of Turku, so we definitely did drive there at like 3 am one time when Snookums had a seizure).

I used to kind of enjoy driving, and I drove frequently aged 16-21, but only automatic transmissions.

waxjism had an old car when I first moved here, but it was stick shift and I couldn't drive it and she couldn't teach me. We eventually got rid of it, and I never swapped my US driver's licence for a Finnish one (you can when it it hasn't expired yet).

Wax, who has never liked driving, has been urging me to learn to drive and get a license since we moved here and got the car.

Well, apparently, because I have at one time had a driver's licence from another country it's impossible to apply online for a learning-to-drive permit like everyone else can; I have to go in person to the office in Turku. I guess I'm doing that this week.

...to learn to drive stick shift, which I did not learn as a teenager. (Automatic transmission is rare here.)

Email received from the school: "Welcome! Your place is booked and here's your password for our website! We suggest that you proceed in the following order: 1. Apply for a learning permit from the government at [This Link]; 2. Start reading the theory lessons on our site; 3. Come in and book driving lessons at your local office once you receive the permit!"

I clicked on [This Link], thinking, "How nice - I didn't have to search the government website for the link myself!"

An hour and a half later, I have six browser tabs open in three languages from two different government-related sites and am waiting for my wife to get off work so she can read them and check my comprehension, or do I really have to book an appointment to visit a government-associated office to make the application in person?

it's good to have your application filled out in advance when you visit this office,🙂

but you can't get it anywhere else but this office. 🤔

They want you to make an appointment in advance when you visit this office,🙂

even though they want you to just drop off the papers when you're there,🙂

which they want you to have prepared in advance,🙃

even though they won't give them to you in advance?? I'm. 🫠

Current Mood: Doing Stuff Was a Mistake

"I never know what I mean in my telegrams—especially those I send from America."

—Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady

I have a long-term To-Do list, and last week I got this list down to two items, one of which was oiling the sewing machine so I don't really count it, and took myself quite by surprise. You wouldn't think that would be possible, and yet I found myself unexpectedly with Only One Thing On The To-Do List.

And I said to myself "Wow, this thing won't take that long! I will probably finish it quickly and easily tomorrow!" (I still haven't finished it.)

Only then the next day I woke up with a whole long list of things I suddenly needed to do first: clean the counter, paint my nails, have a bunny photoshoot, sweep the bunny cages, ink my italic pens and photograph sample writing. I thought vaguely in there, "Maybe I won't get it done today, but soon!" Except then I finished all those things in the day and also finished reading the book I was closest to the end of. (If I'd just done the last thing on the list instead of reading, I'd've finished after all.)

And that's when it occurred to me that I've been putting off the tasks on this To-Do list not simply because they are difficult or intimidating, but to avoid finishing my To-Do list.

At the end of the To-Do list lie all the other things that I should do, but don't know how to start! (Like removing a lot of wallpaper, because I've already tried several ways that don't work that well. We probably need to build scaffolding, which isn't something we are at all qualified to build.) Even worse, items like "Find more social activities and make more friends" are down there! They're things with a sense of 'should' but with no obvious first steps or convenient handles for executive function to get hold of.

What's more, I realized that I would never even have realized this (that I was trying not to finish the To-Do list) if I hadn't hurt my shoulder and had to stop knitting.

Because all this winter I've been furiously occupying myself with knitting, knitting itself has been serving me as a bottomless To-Do list.

This To-Do list dysfunction also means that anything I don't urgently or impulsively do at once - anything which then lands on the list - is in danger of being indefinitely procrastinated, even if there's nothing inherently difficult or anxiety-causing about it (like buying another batch of ebooks, so actually the list now has two things besides oiling the sewing machine again).

Neve the wild mini phalaenopsis orchid started to bloom! From above you can kinda see the size difference compared to Georges and Ella next to her. She's got so many buds already.

Wax's philodendron Jungle Boogie or Henderson's Pride, if that is in fact the one it is (apparently hard to tell, came without a proper label, on sale after being sadly mistreated at a hardware store), has made a new leaf recently and it's making a branch. I really love the leaves which are very majestic, but I keep trying and failing to get pictures of it. It's just so large and the light is from the wrong direction where it lives.

Speaking (as I did yesterday) of calligraphy practice, here's a quote from The Talisman that's funny, but not because it's homoerotic.

( transcription )

Final emphasis mine.

Lettered in modified Carolingian (or "Caroline") style in Diamine Jade Green with 1.1-mm oblique stub nib vintage Pelikan 400. Heading in Rotunda (aka southern european Textualis or gothic). Atribution in chancery cursive.

(Knowing Walter Scott's feelings about the famous flaws in medieval Catholic doctrine, I thought at first that this was deliberate. But it's highly unlikely, since The Talisman was published in 1825. That Austrian guy who noticed that deaths after giving birth were associated with doctors delivering after autopsies and famously got hounded out of medicine for advocating handwashing was not until 1847.)

And another calligraphy unrelated to germ theory or medicine:

( transcription )

Top: Humanist majuscule+minuscule in Sailor Yuki-akari ink with Lamy Safari 1.1-mm stub nib.
Bottom: Chancery cursive in Diamine Jade Green with Pelikan 400 oblique stub nib.

1. I used to spend maybe 8-12 hours per week on a sideblog on Tumblr for images from the history of the decorative arts. Then I succumbed to the idea of talking to the followers directly (it has around 8000 which is waaaaaay more than my normal Tumblr or my pet photo blog) and got some asks that threw me into social confusion and then shame and avoidance and I just didn't update it for like three years. In retrospect, also, the amount of time I was spending on it shortly before I stopped was not practical and sustainable. But I got into a discussion about rococo, and started looking some things up in curiosity, and I had never posted very much about rococo before. And now I started posting there again a bit! (It's called

designobjectory.) It started a week ago with curiosity about the early output of KPM porcelain (the royal porcelain manufactory of Prussia originally, iconic) and has led to the discovery of Weimar classicism in the form of Goethe's house.

2. I inked my two 1.1-mm stub nib fountain pens — well, actually, a Lamy Safari 1.1-mm stub and a vintage Pelikan 400 (mine is brown tortoiseshell, a holiday present a few years ago) with a (pre-existing) custom oblique stub that is about 1.1. — and have been practicing calligraphy a bit, which I haven't done in a while because I haven't had any of my italic pens inked. I spent some time on Gothic capitals, because I want to do more Rotunda, and then Carolingian, which I haven't bothered practicing in the longest time.

“Have you read anything interesting lately, Gregory?” said Geraldine.

“No. No improper books have come my way. And I am too young to read anything suitable for me. If I don’t have to hide my books from my mother, I can’t take any interest in them.”

—Ivy Compton-Burnett, Men and Wives

“If not for Jerusalem, then,” said Richard, in the tone of one who would entreat a favour of an intimate friend, “yet, for the love of honour, let us run at least three courses with grinded lances?”

“Even this,” said Saladin, half smiling at Coeur de Lion's affectionate earnestness for the combat—“even this I may not lawfully do. The master places the shepherd over the flock not for the shepherd's own sake, but for the sake of the sheep. Had I a son to hold the sceptre when I fell, I might have had the liberty, as I have the will, to brave this bold encounter; but your own Scripture saith that when the herdsman is smitten, the sheep are scattered.”

“Thou hast had all the fortune,” said Richard, turning to the Earl of Huntingdon with a sigh. “I would have given the best year in my life for that one half hour beside the Diamond of the Desert!”

—Walter Scott, The Talisman

The King of England [Richard the Lionheart], who, as it was emphatically said of his successor Henry the Eighth, loved to look upon A MAN, was well pleased with the thews, sinews, and symmetry of him whom he now surveyed...

— Walter Scott, The Talisman

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Cimorene

June 2025

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Page Summary

motor vehicle here I come
Fountain Pen Ink Swatches (and Wishlists)
petty and global concerns
this is the third day in a row of it
"Are you reading fanfiction and critiquing its pen portrayal?" Yes
I guess flowers could be contributing as well
driving-related questions settled
no toaster could match the one from technology connections anyway
unfortunately even though we accomplished Task we still have to do the shopping
"This is the REAL ADHD tax!"
This is the overall driving/car situation in our household:
Signed up for driving school...
.
To-Do List Dysfunction
Orchid blossoms still multiplying (currently 9)
Nevar Forget (handwashing edition)
what's up
No improper books have come my way
He wants to joust against Saladin so bad it makes him look stupid
Walter Scott: Fellas, is it gay if knights have elaborate rituals to touch each other's bodies

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multi-fannish American queer cat & bunny owner in Finland

Entries

motor vehicle here I come

Fountain Pen Ink Swatches (and Wishlists)

petty and global concerns

this is the third day in a row of it

"Are you reading fanfiction and critiquing its pen portrayal?" Yes

I guess flowers could be contributing as well

driving-related questions settled

no toaster could match the one from technology connections anyway

unfortunately even though we accomplished Task we still have to do the shopping

"This is the REAL ADHD tax!"

This is the overall driving/car situation in our household:

Signed up for driving school...

.

To-Do List Dysfunction

Orchid blossoms still multiplying (currently 9)

Nevar Forget (handwashing edition)

what's up

No improper books have come my way

He wants to joust against Saladin so bad it makes him look stupid

Walter Scott: Fellas, is it gay if knights have elaborate rituals to touch each other's bodies