I have a long-term To-Do list, and last week I got this list down to two items, one of which was oiling the sewing machine so I don't really count it, and took myself quite by surprise. You wouldn't think that would be possible, and yet I found myself unexpectedly with Only One Thing On The To-Do List.
And I said to myself "Wow, this thing won't take that long! I will probably finish it quickly and easily tomorrow!" (I still haven't finished it.)
Only then the next day I woke up with a whole long list of things I suddenly needed to do first: clean the counter, paint my nails, have a bunny photoshoot, sweep the bunny cages, ink my italic pens and photograph sample writing. I thought vaguely in there, "Maybe I won't get it done today, but soon!" Except then I finished all those things in the day and also finished reading the book I was closest to the end of. (If I'd just done the last thing on the list instead of reading, I'd've finished after all.)
And that's when it occurred to me that I've been putting off the tasks on this To-Do list not simply because they are difficult or intimidating, but to avoid finishing my To-Do list.
At the end of the To-Do list lie all the other things that I should do, but don't know how to start! (Like removing a lot of wallpaper, because I've already tried several ways that don't work that well. We probably need to build scaffolding, which isn't something we are at all qualified to build.) Even worse, items like "Find more social activities and make more friends" are down there! They're things with a sense of 'should' but with no obvious first steps or convenient handles for executive function to get hold of.
What's more, I realized that I would never even have realized this (that I was trying not to finish the To-Do list) if I hadn't hurt my shoulder and had to stop knitting.
Because all this winter I've been furiously occupying myself with knitting, knitting itself has been serving me as a bottomless To-Do list.
This To-Do list dysfunction also means that anything I don't urgently or impulsively do at once - anything which then lands on the list - is in danger of being indefinitely procrastinated, even if there's nothing inherently difficult or anxiety-causing about it (like buying another batch of ebooks, so actually the list now has two things besides oiling the sewing machine again).
And I said to myself "Wow, this thing won't take that long! I will probably finish it quickly and easily tomorrow!" (I still haven't finished it.)
Only then the next day I woke up with a whole long list of things I suddenly needed to do first: clean the counter, paint my nails, have a bunny photoshoot, sweep the bunny cages, ink my italic pens and photograph sample writing. I thought vaguely in there, "Maybe I won't get it done today, but soon!" Except then I finished all those things in the day and also finished reading the book I was closest to the end of. (If I'd just done the last thing on the list instead of reading, I'd've finished after all.)
And that's when it occurred to me that I've been putting off the tasks on this To-Do list not simply because they are difficult or intimidating, but to avoid finishing my To-Do list.
At the end of the To-Do list lie all the other things that I should do, but don't know how to start! (Like removing a lot of wallpaper, because I've already tried several ways that don't work that well. We probably need to build scaffolding, which isn't something we are at all qualified to build.) Even worse, items like "Find more social activities and make more friends" are down there! They're things with a sense of 'should' but with no obvious first steps or convenient handles for executive function to get hold of.
What's more, I realized that I would never even have realized this (that I was trying not to finish the To-Do list) if I hadn't hurt my shoulder and had to stop knitting.
Because all this winter I've been furiously occupying myself with knitting, knitting itself has been serving me as a bottomless To-Do list.
This To-Do list dysfunction also means that anything I don't urgently or impulsively do at once - anything which then lands on the list - is in danger of being indefinitely procrastinated, even if there's nothing inherently difficult or anxiety-causing about it (like buying another batch of ebooks, so actually the list now has two things besides oiling the sewing machine again).
Neve the wild mini phalaenopsis orchid started to bloom! From above you can kinda see the size difference compared to Georges and Ella next to her. She's got so many buds already.
Wax's philodendron Jungle Boogie or Henderson's Pride, if that is in fact the one it is (apparently hard to tell, came without a proper label, on sale after being sadly mistreated at a hardware store), has made a new leaf recently and it's making a branch. I really love the leaves which are very majestic, but I keep trying and failing to get pictures of it. It's just so large and the light is from the wrong direction where it lives.
Speaking (as I did yesterday) of calligraphy practice, here's a quote from The Talisman that's funny, but not because it's homoerotic.
( transcription )
Final emphasis mine.
Lettered in modified Carolingian (or "Caroline") style in Diamine Jade Green with 1.1-mm oblique stub nib vintage Pelikan 400. Heading in Rotunda (aka southern european Textualis or gothic). Atribution in chancery cursive.
(Knowing Walter Scott's feelings about the famous flaws in medieval Catholic doctrine, I thought at first that this was deliberate. But it's highly unlikely, since The Talisman was published in 1825. That Austrian guy who noticed that deaths after giving birth were associated with doctors delivering after autopsies and famously got hounded out of medicine for advocating handwashing was not until 1847.)
And another calligraphy unrelated to germ theory or medicine:
( transcription )
Top: Humanist majuscule+minuscule in Sailor Yuki-akari ink with Lamy Safari 1.1-mm stub nib.
Bottom: Chancery cursive in Diamine Jade Green with Pelikan 400 oblique stub nib.
( transcription )
Final emphasis mine.
Lettered in modified Carolingian (or "Caroline") style in Diamine Jade Green with 1.1-mm oblique stub nib vintage Pelikan 400. Heading in Rotunda (aka southern european Textualis or gothic). Atribution in chancery cursive.
(Knowing Walter Scott's feelings about the famous flaws in medieval Catholic doctrine, I thought at first that this was deliberate. But it's highly unlikely, since The Talisman was published in 1825. That Austrian guy who noticed that deaths after giving birth were associated with doctors delivering after autopsies and famously got hounded out of medicine for advocating handwashing was not until 1847.)
And another calligraphy unrelated to germ theory or medicine:
( transcription )
Top: Humanist majuscule+minuscule in Sailor Yuki-akari ink with Lamy Safari 1.1-mm stub nib.
Bottom: Chancery cursive in Diamine Jade Green with Pelikan 400 oblique stub nib.
1. I used to spend maybe 8-12 hours per week on a sideblog on Tumblr for images from the history of the decorative arts. Then I succumbed to the idea of talking to the followers directly (it has around 8000 which is waaaaaay more than my normal Tumblr or my pet photo blog) and got some asks that threw me into social confusion and then shame and avoidance and I just didn't update it for like three years. In retrospect, also, the amount of time I was spending on it shortly before I stopped was not practical and sustainable. But I got into a discussion about rococo, and started looking some things up in curiosity, and I had never posted very much about rococo before. And now I started posting there again a bit! (It's called ![[tumblr.com profile]](https://www.tumblr.com/favicon.ico)
designobjectory.) It started a week ago with curiosity about the early output of KPM porcelain (the royal porcelain manufactory of Prussia originally, iconic) and has led to the discovery of Weimar classicism in the form of Goethe's house.
2. I inked my two 1.1-mm stub nib fountain pens — well, actually, a Lamy Safari 1.1-mm stub and a vintage Pelikan 400 (mine is brown tortoiseshell, a holiday present a few years ago) with a (pre-existing) custom oblique stub that is about 1.1. — and have been practicing calligraphy a bit, which I haven't done in a while because I haven't had any of my italic pens inked. I spent some time on Gothic capitals, because I want to do more Rotunda, and then Carolingian, which I haven't bothered practicing in the longest time.
2. I inked my two 1.1-mm stub nib fountain pens — well, actually, a Lamy Safari 1.1-mm stub and a vintage Pelikan 400 (mine is brown tortoiseshell, a holiday present a few years ago) with a (pre-existing) custom oblique stub that is about 1.1. — and have been practicing calligraphy a bit, which I haven't done in a while because I haven't had any of my italic pens inked. I spent some time on Gothic capitals, because I want to do more Rotunda, and then Carolingian, which I haven't bothered practicing in the longest time.
“Have you read anything interesting lately, Gregory?” said Geraldine.
“No. No improper books have come my way. And I am too young to read anything suitable for me. If I don’t have to hide my books from my mother, I can’t take any interest in them.”
—Ivy Compton-Burnett, Men and Wives
“If not for Jerusalem, then,” said Richard, in the tone of one who would entreat a favour of an intimate friend, “yet, for the love of honour, let us run at least three courses with grinded lances?”
“Even this,” said Saladin, half smiling at Coeur de Lion's affectionate earnestness for the combat—“even this I may not lawfully do. The master places the shepherd over the flock not for the shepherd's own sake, but for the sake of the sheep. Had I a son to hold the sceptre when I fell, I might have had the liberty, as I have the will, to brave this bold encounter; but your own Scripture saith that when the herdsman is smitten, the sheep are scattered.”
“Thou hast had all the fortune,” said Richard, turning to the Earl of Huntingdon with a sigh. “I would have given the best year in my life for that one half hour beside the Diamond of the Desert!”
—Walter Scott, The Talisman
The King of England [Richard the Lionheart], who, as it was emphatically said of his successor Henry the Eighth, loved to look upon A MAN, was well pleased with the thews, sinews, and symmetry of him whom he now surveyed...
— Walter Scott, The Talisman
As you all are potentially aware, I have an allergy to at least one (unknown id) perfume and am hyper sensitive to other (many, but not all) perfumes and some natural fragrances. Besides one lavender tea incident, the throat swelling has only ever been in response to perfumed products on the lower half of my face for longer than the time it takes to wash it back off (so it's not TOO scary, since I always have time to escape). Hypersensitivity isn't the same as allergy, but when you add the knowledge that some unknown perfume aggressors out there will make my airway swell mostly closed, the hypersensitivity becomes very alarming and hard to deal with. Am I sneezing and feeling like I'm gonna choke because Smell, or am I risking anaphylaxis?
So as you can imagine, I usually buy unscented cosmetics, hygiene products, etc. And that's not always enough! As I was saying to![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
twistedchick recently, sometimes I have to discard unscented products due to the smells of ingredients. Common offenders include burning (how?), ozone (this isn't unbearable but it's very annoying), a vaguely "gone off" smell in some moisturizers (rancid oils? Or some kind of fungal ingredient??), and urine (WHY! I know it's because they use urea in the manufacture but that's an issue I would think they would consider urgent to fix???)
But sometimes I feel compelled to try scented products because there doesn't seem to be a good unscented alternative. If you have any special requirements for shampoo and conditioner - in my case, I have low-porosity hair and lots of common ingredients don't work for me - there tend to be no unscented options, because unscented products are already considered a special requirement. I have decided that I need a new leave in conditioner that's more effective for holding curls and waves without frizz, and maybe a curl cream. (I don't like gel but it's always there if I can't find a good cream solution.)
Well, I tried a John Frieda Frizz Ease "curl revitalizing oil spray" today with great hopes.
My first impression was "this smells like my mother in law".waxjism agrees. It's a perfume, and the product does contain a little patchouli but it's not exactly patchouli that smells like her (but it is musky). The ingredients include "perfume", as usual, which should be illegal anywhere btw, so that's not much help.
Anyway, it's strong enough that I don't like it and will have to give it away, but it's not strong enough that I need to wash it out a day early, as long as my hair is kept back out of my face.
I've been reading the occasional perfume review reblogged bycleolinda and have got the idea it could be oud or some rose-related thing. Or maybe it's the combination of patchouli with one of these other things? I'm medium confident that it's not moringa...
( full ingredients list )
So as you can imagine, I usually buy unscented cosmetics, hygiene products, etc. And that's not always enough! As I was saying to
twistedchick recently, sometimes I have to discard unscented products due to the smells of ingredients. Common offenders include burning (how?), ozone (this isn't unbearable but it's very annoying), a vaguely "gone off" smell in some moisturizers (rancid oils? Or some kind of fungal ingredient??), and urine (WHY! I know it's because they use urea in the manufacture but that's an issue I would think they would consider urgent to fix???)But sometimes I feel compelled to try scented products because there doesn't seem to be a good unscented alternative. If you have any special requirements for shampoo and conditioner - in my case, I have low-porosity hair and lots of common ingredients don't work for me - there tend to be no unscented options, because unscented products are already considered a special requirement. I have decided that I need a new leave in conditioner that's more effective for holding curls and waves without frizz, and maybe a curl cream. (I don't like gel but it's always there if I can't find a good cream solution.)
Well, I tried a John Frieda Frizz Ease "curl revitalizing oil spray" today with great hopes.
My first impression was "this smells like my mother in law".
waxjism agrees. It's a perfume, and the product does contain a little patchouli but it's not exactly patchouli that smells like her (but it is musky). The ingredients include "perfume", as usual, which should be illegal anywhere btw, so that's not much help. Anyway, it's strong enough that I don't like it and will have to give it away, but it's not strong enough that I need to wash it out a day early, as long as my hair is kept back out of my face.
I've been reading the occasional perfume review reblogged by
cleolinda and have got the idea it could be oud or some rose-related thing. Or maybe it's the combination of patchouli with one of these other things? I'm medium confident that it's not moringa... ( full ingredients list )
The Knight of the Leopard then disarmed himself of his heavy panoply, his Saracen companion kindly assisting him to undo his buckler and clasps, until he remained in the close dress of chamois leather, which knights and men-at-arms used to wear under their harness. The Saracen, if he had admired the strength of his adversary when sheathed in steel, was now no less struck with the accuracy of proportion displayed in his nervous and well-compacted figure. The knight, on the other hand, as, in exchange of courtesy, he assisted the Saracen to disrobe himself of his upper garments, that he might sleep with more convenience, was, on his side, at a loss to conceive how such slender proportions and slimness of figure could be reconciled with the vigour he had displayed in personal contest.
—Walter Scott, The Talisman
I think we have like eight phalaenopsis orchids and a couple of others. Of those, one is a mini "wild variety" and has been blooming regularly and copiously since we bought it. But all the others have been dormant since they dropped their flowers (except one which died - at least I think just one).
But about a month ago Ella Fitzgerald (L) started making new buds, and shortly after that Georges Seurat (R) did too! These are the first non-wild orchid blooms we've seen in a year.
That said, I definitely would recommend the wild mini phal over the hybrids. The different colors are just irresistible sometimes, but the vigor and jollity of the wild phal with its profusion of little white blooms is also remarkable. And it makes so many more flowers! Our mini wild phal, Neve Campbell, isn't blooming at the moment; but it's got a bunch of buds that will be open soon. And like I said, it's been blooming regularly all along, unlike the others. (But pics of it can be seen in this post when we bought it and group shots comparing it to other orchids in this one, where it's next to Ella.)
But about a month ago Ella Fitzgerald (L) started making new buds, and shortly after that Georges Seurat (R) did too! These are the first non-wild orchid blooms we've seen in a year.
That said, I definitely would recommend the wild mini phal over the hybrids. The different colors are just irresistible sometimes, but the vigor and jollity of the wild phal with its profusion of little white blooms is also remarkable. And it makes so many more flowers! Our mini wild phal, Neve Campbell, isn't blooming at the moment; but it's got a bunch of buds that will be open soon. And like I said, it's been blooming regularly all along, unlike the others. (But pics of it can be seen in this post when we bought it and group shots comparing it to other orchids in this one, where it's next to Ella.)
After reading the introduction to Scott's The Talisman, I was kind of like ... Whoa Richard the Lionheart was somewhat horrible? I only knew about him previously from like. Robin Hood. And Ivanhoe, which is almost the same thing. (In retrospect it's not surprising that these sources were not very reliable.)
Now that I've read a bunch of articles on Wikipedia I know that historians debate, but he is widely considered arguably a bad king and not great guy, although definitely a very good warrior and general. And he did punish anti-semitic rioters one time. But other than that, there's little to be said for him except that his brother John was worse.
Scott was a fan, but his introduction doesn't really have any more to say in his favor, just basically: He was brave! and He was super into the Crusade! The latter may argue for his emotions and conviction of purpose, but I can't count it as a positive overall.
All that said, clearly people are not reading The Talisman, or there would be way more Richard I/Saladin on AO3.
Now that I've read a bunch of articles on Wikipedia I know that historians debate, but he is widely considered arguably a bad king and not great guy, although definitely a very good warrior and general. And he did punish anti-semitic rioters one time. But other than that, there's little to be said for him except that his brother John was worse.
Scott was a fan, but his introduction doesn't really have any more to say in his favor, just basically: He was brave! and He was super into the Crusade! The latter may argue for his emotions and conviction of purpose, but I can't count it as a positive overall.
All that said, clearly people are not reading The Talisman, or there would be way more Richard I/Saladin on AO3.
‘For the day is waxing old, and here meseemeth in this dim hall there are words crossing in the air about us—words spoken in days long ago, and tales of old time, that keep egging me on to do my will and die, because that is all that the world hath for a valiant man; and to such words I would not hearken, for in this hour I have no will to die, nor can I think of death.’
‘Now, lads, the night weareth and the guest is weary: therefore whoso of you hath in him any minstrelsy, now let him make it, for later on it shall be over-late.’
‘Now were I fain to have a true tale out of him, but it is little likely that anything shall come of my much questioning; and it is ill forcing a young man to tell lies.’
He laughed and said: ‘Thou didst not doubt but that if we met, thou mightest do with me as thou wouldest?’
‘So it is,’ she said, ‘that I doubted it little.’
[T]he stony neck sank into another desolate miry heath still falling toward the east, but whose further side was walled by a rampart of crags cleft at their tops into marvellous-shapes, coal-black, ungrassed and unmossed. Thitherward the hound led straight, and Gold-mane followed wondering: as he drew near them he saw that they were not very high, the tallest peak scant fifty feet from the face of the heath.
They made their way through the scattered rocks at the foot of these crags, till, just where the rock-wall seemed the closest, the way through the stones turned into a path going through it skew-wise; and it was now so clear a path that belike it had been bettered by men’s hands. Down thereby Face-of-god followed the hound, deeming that he was come to the gates of the Shadowy Vale, and the path went down steeply and swiftly.
Here's the sweater I knitted so hard that I sproinged my shoulder blade! It's been finished for a couple of weeks, but I finally got Wax to take some pictures of it on me in natural light.
It's good that I hurried when knitting, actually (even if it isn't good that my shoulder is wonky), because I think it's going to be too warm to wear it out more until next fall. I got a few weeks of wear out of it when it was new this way.
This sweater was knitted using the popular Finnish knitwear designer Sari Nordlund's Bookclub cardigan pattern in Filcolana Peruvian aran-weight wool in color 227 ("old rose", but it's more a bright pastel lilac, I'd say). (I made a number of modifications and notes which can be seen on my project page.)
I love this sweater. It has an unusual shape and drape caused by the unusual construction with the Scandinavian-style shoulder, where the shoulder seams are moved onto the back and the fronts curve over the shoulders to meet them, and I love the shape of the front V-neck.
It isn't perfect because the pockets aren't deep enough to carry my phone in - which I knew was happening when I knitted it, but I didn't want to lengthen the bottom hem to make the phone fit or go back and move the pocket openings higher up. Also the sleeves are slightly too long. You never know for sure how much they will grow with blocking, and having them slightly too short is worse.
It's good that I hurried when knitting, actually (even if it isn't good that my shoulder is wonky), because I think it's going to be too warm to wear it out more until next fall. I got a few weeks of wear out of it when it was new this way.
This sweater was knitted using the popular Finnish knitwear designer Sari Nordlund's Bookclub cardigan pattern in Filcolana Peruvian aran-weight wool in color 227 ("old rose", but it's more a bright pastel lilac, I'd say). (I made a number of modifications and notes which can be seen on my project page.)
I love this sweater. It has an unusual shape and drape caused by the unusual construction with the Scandinavian-style shoulder, where the shoulder seams are moved onto the back and the fronts curve over the shoulders to meet them, and I love the shape of the front V-neck.
It isn't perfect because the pockets aren't deep enough to carry my phone in - which I knew was happening when I knitted it, but I didn't want to lengthen the bottom hem to make the phone fit or go back and move the pocket openings higher up. Also the sleeves are slightly too long. You never know for sure how much they will grow with blocking, and having them slightly too short is worse.
Well, guys, last fall when I was having a nervous breakdown my doctor was having some trouble finding a good medication to prescribe to help me sleep, and she landed on mirtazapine, which is actually an antidepressant, but has a strong history of off-label use as a sleep aid.
You can take half a pill or a quarter of a pill, something like that, at bedtime, my doctor said, and hopefully this will help you sleep. And this medication has a weird curve where it acts differently at high doses and if you want you can take a full tablet in the morning as a mood lifter. (This is all paraphrased.)
I tried a half-tablet of mirtazapine for insomnia last fall at one point, and found it made it very hard to wake up the next day. I quickly switched to quarter tablets and even eighth tablets, on a tip from the pharmacist ("Many people find an eighth works even better than a quarter"). I never took this every night, and gradually got out of the habit because I have mostly not been having much insomnia and my greater concern is how hard it is to wake up in the morning.
So until yesterday I actually never had taken a whole tablet, but I started thinking maybe I should try it recently. I have been feeling some of that weird ADHD-understimulation where it's like your brain itches, but all the things I tried to read or look at or draw didn't help and it still felt kind of... boring. I don't really like the term 'boredom' in this explanation for that reason, but all the information I can find about ADHD understimulation emphasizes it and most of it is about taking things you like to do along when you have to sit through boring lectures etc which is not what's going on for me at all (and which I have already been doing my whole life). Reading is my silver-bullet distraction that always works. Maybe the problem is that understimulation isn't really what's going on.
But anyway! Yesterday I decided to give it a try. So I took one tablet with my meds after breakfast and then I just. Got very sleepy inside like half an hour and slept for... five hours, and then woke up from hunger and only managed to stay up long enough to eat a banana and two pieces of toast before falling back asleep for another five hours. I ate the dinner Wax made and managed to sit there half awake for a couple of hours before going to bed and sleeping another twelve hours.
It's like the day is just gone!
You can take half a pill or a quarter of a pill, something like that, at bedtime, my doctor said, and hopefully this will help you sleep. And this medication has a weird curve where it acts differently at high doses and if you want you can take a full tablet in the morning as a mood lifter. (This is all paraphrased.)
I tried a half-tablet of mirtazapine for insomnia last fall at one point, and found it made it very hard to wake up the next day. I quickly switched to quarter tablets and even eighth tablets, on a tip from the pharmacist ("Many people find an eighth works even better than a quarter"). I never took this every night, and gradually got out of the habit because I have mostly not been having much insomnia and my greater concern is how hard it is to wake up in the morning.
So until yesterday I actually never had taken a whole tablet, but I started thinking maybe I should try it recently. I have been feeling some of that weird ADHD-understimulation where it's like your brain itches, but all the things I tried to read or look at or draw didn't help and it still felt kind of... boring. I don't really like the term 'boredom' in this explanation for that reason, but all the information I can find about ADHD understimulation emphasizes it and most of it is about taking things you like to do along when you have to sit through boring lectures etc which is not what's going on for me at all (and which I have already been doing my whole life). Reading is my silver-bullet distraction that always works. Maybe the problem is that understimulation isn't really what's going on.
But anyway! Yesterday I decided to give it a try. So I took one tablet with my meds after breakfast and then I just. Got very sleepy inside like half an hour and slept for... five hours, and then woke up from hunger and only managed to stay up long enough to eat a banana and two pieces of toast before falling back asleep for another five hours. I ate the dinner Wax made and managed to sit there half awake for a couple of hours before going to bed and sleeping another twelve hours.
It's like the day is just gone!
I accidentally deleted the last William Morris book in my to-reread list from my phone and never got around to sending it back.
I started Walter Scott's The Talisman, because it's one of his few novels set in the middle ages, but there's some racism that's hard to swallow. There is a major Kurdish character, a knight under Saladin, who is... friends? With our Norman Scottish protagonist. The portrayal is not unsympathetic. I think Scott is doing his best to be even-handed, but like Catholicism, Islam just seems factually wrong and evil etc etc to him, and its adherents who are good guys are unfortunately misled. It's... hard to read. In retrospect, I'm surprised by how much he didn't dislike Judaism, in comparison.
Also started The King of Elfland's Daughter by Lord Dunsany. I read this as a teenager but remembered nothing. The narrative voice is quaint and charming. It's not really gripping me though.
No progress in Le Morte d'Arthur (Malory) or The Idylls of the King (Tennyson). The latter is more readable, comparatively, but I just don't really like reading verse. Also I did make some progress in The Faerie Queene (Spenser), and one verse narrative at a time is plenty.
Speaking of verse narratives, I still haven't made any more progress in the Wilson translation of Seneca's plays. (But the translations aren't in verse!) I might just have to skip Oedipus. I hate him for some reason.
I guess now I should actually reread all of Murderbot again, since I can't remember all the details and the show is starting to air. That should be comparatively quick though! I have the last Katherine Addison waiting and haven't gotten around to picking it up.
With all these things that I'm feeling decidedly unenthused about, I instead read the whole part of Jordanes' ancient history of the Goths that deals with wars with Asian invaders and then the entirety of Hervor's/Heidrek's saga, including the ancient poem called The Battle of the Goths and the Huns. (This is the only surviving medieval saga that deals with Gothic tribes in mainland Europe, and Jordanes' is the only other ancient source with relevance to Morris's The Roots of the Mountains.) I had made all the posts about that book which I had in mind when reading it, but yesterday I found a link on Tumblr to these two great essays about the context, history, and implications of the racism of Tolkien orcs/goblins by James Mendez Hodes (he doesn't mention Morris/ROTM or the specific borrowing from Jordanes alleged in Seaman's introduction to ROTM, but these links in the chain are immaterial to the argument): Orcs, Britons, and the Martial Race Myth, Part I: A Species Built for Racial Terror. content warnings: racism, colonialism/imperialism, cultural conflation, sexism, sexual violence, anger & Orcs, Britons, and the Martial Race Myth, Part II: They're Not Human. These essays totally opened my eyes to a missing link in my understanding of the background of the racist portrayal of the Dusky Men - one I wouldn't have missed if I'd reread Said's Orientalism, which I probably should've. The gender aspect of the ROTM Huns is riffing on the extreme cultural openness and intermarriage habits of the Mongols, whose invasions were much later - 13th century, long after the christianization and settlement of the germanic tribes and the fall of the Roman empire. (More on the Mongols' real culture and the stereotypes in western culture surrounding them in his posts!) So that gives me something else to research. Maybe I actually will eventually form a coherent theory of what is going on with all the gender roles in this book!
I started Walter Scott's The Talisman, because it's one of his few novels set in the middle ages, but there's some racism that's hard to swallow. There is a major Kurdish character, a knight under Saladin, who is... friends? With our Norman Scottish protagonist. The portrayal is not unsympathetic. I think Scott is doing his best to be even-handed, but like Catholicism, Islam just seems factually wrong and evil etc etc to him, and its adherents who are good guys are unfortunately misled. It's... hard to read. In retrospect, I'm surprised by how much he didn't dislike Judaism, in comparison.
Also started The King of Elfland's Daughter by Lord Dunsany. I read this as a teenager but remembered nothing. The narrative voice is quaint and charming. It's not really gripping me though.
No progress in Le Morte d'Arthur (Malory) or The Idylls of the King (Tennyson). The latter is more readable, comparatively, but I just don't really like reading verse. Also I did make some progress in The Faerie Queene (Spenser), and one verse narrative at a time is plenty.
Speaking of verse narratives, I still haven't made any more progress in the Wilson translation of Seneca's plays. (But the translations aren't in verse!) I might just have to skip Oedipus. I hate him for some reason.
I guess now I should actually reread all of Murderbot again, since I can't remember all the details and the show is starting to air. That should be comparatively quick though! I have the last Katherine Addison waiting and haven't gotten around to picking it up.
With all these things that I'm feeling decidedly unenthused about, I instead read the whole part of Jordanes' ancient history of the Goths that deals with wars with Asian invaders and then the entirety of Hervor's/Heidrek's saga, including the ancient poem called The Battle of the Goths and the Huns. (This is the only surviving medieval saga that deals with Gothic tribes in mainland Europe, and Jordanes' is the only other ancient source with relevance to Morris's The Roots of the Mountains.) I had made all the posts about that book which I had in mind when reading it, but yesterday I found a link on Tumblr to these two great essays about the context, history, and implications of the racism of Tolkien orcs/goblins by James Mendez Hodes (he doesn't mention Morris/ROTM or the specific borrowing from Jordanes alleged in Seaman's introduction to ROTM, but these links in the chain are immaterial to the argument): Orcs, Britons, and the Martial Race Myth, Part I: A Species Built for Racial Terror. content warnings: racism, colonialism/imperialism, cultural conflation, sexism, sexual violence, anger & Orcs, Britons, and the Martial Race Myth, Part II: They're Not Human. These essays totally opened my eyes to a missing link in my understanding of the background of the racist portrayal of the Dusky Men - one I wouldn't have missed if I'd reread Said's Orientalism, which I probably should've. The gender aspect of the ROTM Huns is riffing on the extreme cultural openness and intermarriage habits of the Mongols, whose invasions were much later - 13th century, long after the christianization and settlement of the germanic tribes and the fall of the Roman empire. (More on the Mongols' real culture and the stereotypes in western culture surrounding them in his posts!) So that gives me something else to research. Maybe I actually will eventually form a coherent theory of what is going on with all the gender roles in this book!
"And, by my faith, he is a man of steel, as true and as pure, but as hard and as pitiless. You remember the Cock of Capperlaw, whom he hanged over his gate for a mere mistake—a poor yoke of oxen taken in Scotland, when he thought he was taking them in English land? I loved the Cock of Capperlaw; the Kerrs had not an honester man in their clan, and they have had men that might have been a pattern to the Border—men that would not have lifted under twenty cows at once, and would have held themselves dishonoured if they had taken a drift of sheep, or the like, but always managed their raids in full credit and honour."
What a fascinating look at 16th century Scottish border life. It's totally honorable to steal a large herd of cows from an English target, but the fewer you steal (presumably because of the relative poverty of their owner) the more morally questionable, so the most honorable lads are raiding large quantities of livestock from wealthy English landowners. Meanwhile, stealing any amount of livestock from another Scottish person is punishable by death.
Their stately offices—their pleasant gardens—the magnificent cloisters constructed for their recreation, were all dilapidated and ruinous; and some of the building materials had apparently been put into requisition by persons in the village and in the vicinity, who, formerly vassals of the Monastery, had not hesitated to appropriate to themselves a part of the spoils. Roland saw fragments of Gothic pillars richly carved, occupying the place of door-posts to the meanest huts; and here and there a mutilated statue, inverted or laid on its side, made the door-post, or threshold, of a wretched cow-house.
Mostly I'm just sad we don't have documentary photo evidence of this practice.
"My master has pushed off in the boat which they call the little Herod, (more shame to them for giving the name of a Christian to wood and iron,)[...]"
Old Keltie, the landlord, who had bestowed his name on a bridge in the neighbourhood of his quondam dwelling, received the carrier with his usual festive cordiality, and adjourned with him into the house, under pretence of important business, which, I believe, consisted in their emptying together a mutchkin stoup of usquebaugh.
Love to see whiskey in Gaelic.
“Peace, ye brawling hound!” said the wounded steward; “are dagger-stabs and dying men such rarities in Scotland, that you should cry as if the house were falling?”
As long-time readers are aware, Wax and I have been cat divorced for what feels like forever* (in this case, since we brought Sipuli home last September), in a house ( divided. )
Tristana's journey: Tristana would initially not come near the gate at all; then she would gradually creep closer but run away and hide at any sign of movement. ( It was agonizingly gradual, and it's been over six months, but as of about a week and a half ago, she is not afraid at all. )
Sipuli's journey: So Tristana has made a lot of progress, and will stay sitting right next to the gate now even when Sipuli gets excited and rattles it or bounces off it a bit. But now the problem is Sipuli. After her first reaction of getting over-excited - usually like, one bounce - she typically has a quick spurt of intense regret and self-doubt, and frequently retreats, sometimes all the way into the other room. It seems that she has learned that her over-excitedness has something bad associated with it, but she doesn't understand what about it is wrong, so she will leave the gate while Tristana is still sitting right there peering through at her like "Where are you going?"
They have sat quite close on opposite sides of the gate looking at each other, neither one freaking out, I'd say about three times in the last week and a half, though. They still haven't sniffed and greeted each other, but I think it is probably not far away now. And then when they do they can be introduced on leashes in the same space!!!!!!!
This was last weekend, the second time they did it. And these are sketches I did afterwaxjism said "They're so Kiki and Boba!"
* But before that since I think 2022 because of Anubis, with a couple of weeks of breaks here and there.
Tristana's journey: Tristana would initially not come near the gate at all; then she would gradually creep closer but run away and hide at any sign of movement. ( It was agonizingly gradual, and it's been over six months, but as of about a week and a half ago, she is not afraid at all. )
Sipuli's journey: So Tristana has made a lot of progress, and will stay sitting right next to the gate now even when Sipuli gets excited and rattles it or bounces off it a bit. But now the problem is Sipuli. After her first reaction of getting over-excited - usually like, one bounce - she typically has a quick spurt of intense regret and self-doubt, and frequently retreats, sometimes all the way into the other room. It seems that she has learned that her over-excitedness has something bad associated with it, but she doesn't understand what about it is wrong, so she will leave the gate while Tristana is still sitting right there peering through at her like "Where are you going?"
They have sat quite close on opposite sides of the gate looking at each other, neither one freaking out, I'd say about three times in the last week and a half, though. They still haven't sniffed and greeted each other, but I think it is probably not far away now. And then when they do they can be introduced on leashes in the same space!!!!!!!
This was last weekend, the second time they did it. And these are sketches I did after
waxjism said "They're so Kiki and Boba!"* But before that since I think 2022 because of Anubis, with a couple of weeks of breaks here and there.
*My wife is not really a dessert chef, it's just her hobby. She likes to watch French dessert chefs on YouTube.
For years one of our most frequently patronized restaurants was a Finnish chain of French provincial cuisine called Fransmanni and we got this cake every time we ate there. It's a miniature chocolate cake, approximately ramekin-sized, that would come upside down on the plate with a little scoop of vanilla icecream, and while the outside was cakey the inside was still liquid.
I was lying around yesterday, suffering through period cramps after taking my painkillers, and lamenting that I didn't buy any more peanut m&m's so I didn't have emergency chocolate, and saying for the millionth time that I wished I could have the miniature chocolate cake from Fransmanni, and it might not even be too hard to make, but I didn't even know what it was called... only thenwaxjism said she thought it was called gateau fondant.
Actually it turns out that it might not be called that because apparently people use this term for miniature cakes that are not liquid in the center? But people still call it that enough to bring the information up with those search terms. The Wikipedia entry about it in English is called "Molten chocolate cake" and gives the same origin stories as the French recipe blog we used, and here's what she said about it:
I got out the ingredients in a spurt of enthusiasm, but thenwaxjism jumped up and took over with her dessert chef skills! We only realized after the batter was done that it was a lot of batter and we don't have ramekins. Muffin tray was the only option, and there was some concern that it might not all fit in one mufffin tray, but it did: it made eleven muffin-size cakes out of a tray of twelve.
Then the muffin tray went in the fridge and we confronted the fact that we have only ever eaten one of these cakes at a time before (albeit slightly larger ones than the ones produced by the muffin tray), and that they are meant to be eaten straight out of the oven. They are so tiny that they bake in about ten minutes though, sowaxjism came up with sliding the filled muffin cups on little bits of cardboard into small ziploc bags and freezing them. So we ate two each yesterday and baked two more today.
I had to take pictures even though they look almost comically unprepossessing. We were not inclined to break out fresh berries or whipped cream to plate it with though, so it is what it is. Trust me, it's incredible! Even though they are a little less cooked than the ideal amount here: the solid shell is a bit thinner than it was yesterday (they weren't room temperature yet when we put them in the oven.)
For years one of our most frequently patronized restaurants was a Finnish chain of French provincial cuisine called Fransmanni and we got this cake every time we ate there. It's a miniature chocolate cake, approximately ramekin-sized, that would come upside down on the plate with a little scoop of vanilla icecream, and while the outside was cakey the inside was still liquid.
I was lying around yesterday, suffering through period cramps after taking my painkillers, and lamenting that I didn't buy any more peanut m&m's so I didn't have emergency chocolate, and saying for the millionth time that I wished I could have the miniature chocolate cake from Fransmanni, and it might not even be too hard to make, but I didn't even know what it was called... only then
waxjism said she thought it was called gateau fondant. Actually it turns out that it might not be called that because apparently people use this term for miniature cakes that are not liquid in the center? But people still call it that enough to bring the information up with those search terms. The Wikipedia entry about it in English is called "Molten chocolate cake" and gives the same origin stories as the French recipe blog we used, and here's what she said about it:
[C]hocolate fondant (or should I say molten cake? lava cake?) is really something the French bake very often at home and that became a great classic of French restaurants, form small bistrots to more fancy restaurants. It’s super quick and easy, only 5 ingredients.
Molten Chocolate Fondant - Zest of France
I got out the ingredients in a spurt of enthusiasm, but then
waxjism jumped up and took over with her dessert chef skills! We only realized after the batter was done that it was a lot of batter and we don't have ramekins. Muffin tray was the only option, and there was some concern that it might not all fit in one mufffin tray, but it did: it made eleven muffin-size cakes out of a tray of twelve. Then the muffin tray went in the fridge and we confronted the fact that we have only ever eaten one of these cakes at a time before (albeit slightly larger ones than the ones produced by the muffin tray), and that they are meant to be eaten straight out of the oven. They are so tiny that they bake in about ten minutes though, so
waxjism came up with sliding the filled muffin cups on little bits of cardboard into small ziploc bags and freezing them. So we ate two each yesterday and baked two more today. 
I had to take pictures even though they look almost comically unprepossessing. We were not inclined to break out fresh berries or whipped cream to plate it with though, so it is what it is. Trust me, it's incredible! Even though they are a little less cooked than the ideal amount here: the solid shell is a bit thinner than it was yesterday (they weren't room temperature yet when we put them in the oven.)
I drew this inspirational poster after waxjism accidentally stepped in YouTube shorts and got caught against her will in the whirlpool for a few hours. She said I should share it because it's "cute" and "universal" ("No one likes YouTube shorts," she explained).
waxjism accidentally stepped in YouTube shorts and got caught against her will in the whirlpool for a few hours. She said I should share it because it's "cute" and "universal" ("No one likes YouTube shorts," she explained).
