cimorene

i lost my room key somewhere, and so we will have to have our lock changed. more importantly, i lost my lucky 4leaf clover key chain. this was a present from the driver of the school bus i used to ride in the 1st grade, this cool black guy who thought i was cool, and i sat right behind him every day and stood up--so i could be near his ear--and talked to him the whole way to my parents' work, because it was a long bus ride, and mine was the last stop. he was also the father of my boyfriend, who was a little black boy in 3rd grade, and i don't remember his name, but he was cool. he used to kiss my cheek. so anyway, i lost this keychain, which had just oodles of sentimental value.

Q: does anyone but total jerks say "as it were"?
A: no.