i thought he was a man but he was just a little boy

naina's cat is sitting in the bathtub staring at the faucet.

...

yes, that is really weird.

every step i take leads to a mistake

help! i seem to be awake.

also, steve is holding out on me. he thinks (though i scoff at this) that his girlfriend is hotter than mine, and he won't show pictures!

is he a meanie head or what.

oh look. it's tomorrow. work! lots of work! and um. writing. to. write. yeah. ::slinks away::

the one thing that i need

where are these mythical GOOD pros recs pages? i seem to have inadvertently grazed the bottom of the barrel already a few times. >.

everywhere i turn

secret_angel's bandwidth is back up, thus, the christina mood icons return. i have to work tomorrow. this was britney spears's birthday. i made some extensive recs page additions--

three or four each to lotr and lotr rps (though i still have lots of catching up to do with both of those; i know there are ones i read that i didn't add), a few due south, about four miscellany, about the same of harry potter. the ftp program won't let me upload those, kitten_head's new background, or the animation i tried to post earlier this evening. nassty little biotch.

the 8 pages were due mailed yesterday, ie sunday, NOT monday, at the latest. i suppose i'll start tomorrow afternoon. and we'll just see, won't we. i don't feel particularly anxious about it.

don't get me wrong! this is a very good thing, i'm sure.

dear sharp unapologetically jabby edge of door,

that was not very nice. didn't you see me there?!

wounded but still your loving,
cim

dream

there were ghosts. and channukah candles all over the place, on tree branches and the backs of cars. was on a walk and the next door neighbors were trying to run us over.

am unhappily awake. stupid! stupid! going to make tea now. tea, work, mail (oneko_briar!). 8 pages that were due sunday. am unhappy.

in search of recs

am feeling easily irritated this morning, which has made me think about irritability. and about those people who *always* irritate me, for one reason or another. you know what i'm talking about. they probably haven't even really done anything to you, but maybe just *once* they said something, or someone else said something, or you read something, and it got stuck in your head, or maybe you don't even have a real reason at all, but the bottom line is that i hate to think about them, really and truly.

what does this to me? people who don't like me. well, that's an actual reason, albeit not an entirely good one. this is not as simple as ego or lack thereof. i'm not sure what, precisely. or, well, not *everyone* who doesn't like me: let's say, if a friend of a friend doesn't like me. *that* gets my back up like nothing else--grr. if they dislike me in that particularly condescending way, even worse. and i don't mind it when i can ignore it, but if your friend prevents you from ignoring it, then, well.

trying to navigate te's recs blog in search of pros recs by "reputable people"--i can't argue with wax that merry lynne, sandy and torch are all very reputable, but i'm not sure how far i can throw them or if i, personally, can benefit from their recs. what does enjoying the fiction say? not sure. what if you haven't read it? ah, little grasshopper, you have your work cut out for you. found killa's recs through te too. what happened; did my taste grow up? i'll still read killa, as deliciously purple as she gets, but her recs don't work for me anymore and it makes me squirm. didn't i first venture out of my baby fandom [no, that's nsync, actually; trek is my home fandom, perhaps] on the coattails of that very same recs page?

these gingersnaps are really mediocre. much like a lot of pros slash i was reading last night--highlander flavored, no less. is it the characters? no, the time period, i think; you find some of that in early k/s, some old sentinel, etc, etc. weird fandoms abound on torch's recs page which i'm sure is quite good if you're as impartial as torch, but bears some getting used to if you're looking for something too specific.

i think there's a very conscious decision, you know, involved with recs pages. to divide by fandom, or not? the 'not' way may be a matter of principle, but it may also win you enemies. especially enemies who are looking for ONE SPECIFIC THING THAT THEY CAN'T FIND ANYWHERE (ahem). minions! pet me!

speaking of which--and also addressed to my minions--i've updated my own recs page, with more to follow soon. new l/g and f/s in lotr, zarah and lobelia in lotr rps, silvia, v, and torch in harry potter, pros stories in miscellany. some of it astonishingly good, like sil's and v's and oh. you should probably, i daresay, read it all. and i've more exploring to do on the pages of ninglor, brieflydel, mirabellawotr, angstslashhope. must fill out those lotr and lotr rps recs, you know. for the latter i fear to brave beyond the fellowship, but may have no choice. claire or holls--hold me.

were you waiting for the link? don't let me stop you.

[the stories that leave you with a full belly and wanting more].

oh yeah, AND?

and yeah, i was going to shut up, but no. people--and not just her--are recommending, out of star trek, ds9 and voy and fucking debra fran baker?

what is fandom coming to?

Fandom itself (caps intentional), the sf kind, is very, er. secret handshake. but part of the secret handshake and the culture is the openness of it all. and these offshoot fandoms are... not.

recs updates, layouts, layabouts, sleepiness and... domains. damn. one more for the christmas list

#am tired. next up in the search for recs updates: versaphile. then back to looking for pros. at least that's *new.* wading through lotr is exhausting. had no idea it could be this bad!
#my website needs a new layout. remind me in january, when i have some free time. have been to angstslashhope and brandybuck's websites, and was further inspired by the much-vaunted merry lynne's and the new lithium site (up yet? not sure) dedicated to viggorli. does chelsea have a livejournal, anyone know? hum.
# oops about the skipping work thing. i think i need sleep, probably. i'm going to be in bed over there, if anyone needs me. wax_jism! did you ever get your phone bill (::wince::)?
#you know, maybe i should get my own domain. i use up way too much of schuyler and thelionforreal's bandwidth, and there are so many people i want to offer hosting space to: kitten_head and indolentdragon for starters, then all the trek writers stranded at geocities: istannor, isla of hope and t'aeneli, jat sapphire, ellen fremedon.
#fuck livejournal. and also, fuck real email, life, commitments, and all kinds of stuff. why can't i be paid to maintain a recs page and a website?

gr arg

WHERE. IS. MY. SUITCASE.

the pros slash

BabyBlueWax: now doyle jumps in the water too.
cim thing: wet clothes!
BabyBlueWax: they look cold.
BabyBlueWax: I don't think that water is heated.
BabyBlueWax: ahah. bodie saves the day.
cim thing: <3
BabyBlueWax: doyle wants to throw him over a barrel and shag him rotten.
BabyBlueWax: ooh, gratuitous touching!
BabyBlueWax: they're so cute!
BabyBlueWax: ee.
cim thing: ee! touching!
BabyBlueWax: more cuteness!
cim thing: eee! cuteness!
cim thing: ::tackle::

nelly iiiiiiiiiiiii need you and iiiiii want you, i doooooooooo

the most lovely bodie/doyle icon. must upload. what to delete, what to delete? it's of the same general type as this one--well, you'll see the resemblance--but as nemoricultrix said, it's so subversive! it's my favorite movie of ALL TIME! no way am i deleting this one.

thank goodness for spam!

quizlet gacked from deepsix. speaking of which, go check out my hp recs, people. three or four new ones! mmm. hers the best of the (admittedly small) lot.

( canada with your face sketched on it twice )

what happened to everyone's favorite werekitten?

the lijah went and shaved his head, y'all! i knew he was gay. this just PROVES it.

yes, you want to see.

in a blue tie, no less, and looking like a particularly slight football player. next to viggo in an anti-war shirt. yes, you do too want to see--

( doesn't it make my psycho face more psycho? )

oh, come BACK!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

::crumple::

photo albums

for southpaw526 and kitten_head and anyone else who wants them.

my favorite khaki pants, in various poses around the house. these were originally taken for the perusal of kmazzy for seekrit consultation about the feasibility of using them to seduce wax_jism (as it happened, it took the little black dress slip o' sex for that to work entirely, but then again, she picked it out for me, didn't she?)
gothing pictures, including devon and his hot roommate, and me, and my hot waxlet. ;) looking particularly dirty and disreputable in a few of these. but the last one is my favorite.

the best disguised GIP ever. but was it an EEEEVIL gip?

there's a booklet in the music issue of vanity fair i bought in november (because it mentioned dar williams, but there's other goodies in there too). it's an advertisement, of course: zagat survey movie guide to the 'top feel good movies of all time.' they're rated on a scale of 0-30 for overall, acting, story and production values.* the cumulative scores rank them.

singin' in the rain** is #2 after the wizard of oz. i would have used the sitr icon for this, but it's a gip, innit? and you can't do that without the icon. so what, you may ask, is the point? never ask rhetorical questions.***

footnotes. gotta love them.

anyway, the point is that this was stuck into the vf with one of those long rubbery strips of gluey sticky stuff, and those things are just fantabulously cool. eee! sticky stuff! ::pings the sticky stuff, untangles, sticks to desk, rolls up in little ball, makes fingerprints...::

oh, and thank you to phineasjones for the hp recs. the 'crush' trilogy has been dutifully added.

and gip. 'sunshine' is creeping up on 'cupcake' as my favorite loverly nickname.#

*does anyone know wtf this means? 'production values'? thank you.
** my favorite movie of all time EEE SO GOOD.
*** why?, you may ask.
# there's also the ever-popular 'plumcake' (and its siamese twin, 'sugarplum') not to mention 'sweetcakes' and 'angel-face,' and 'dorblin pie' and 'cutie head.' but still, i maintain 'cupcake' over them all. it's like the quintessential 'crumpet'... with a twist. do i sound like i'm a nut?##

## you'll note in that quiz result down there that i said i do believe in love, after a bit of hemming and hawing. well, that's probably irrelevant here. what *is* relevant is that i'm a silly hopeless romantic. ::eyes rest of entry:: maybe put the emphasis a bit heavier on 'silly' than on the rest, though.