dum dum dum

trillian has certainly been acting up a great deal lately. damned new release.

guess who woke up early and made PANCAKES for breakfast? (me. booyeah.)

guinevere33 asked for the actual pictures of naked britney.

so for those of you who haven't seen, here's the cover and inside shots from esquire (bottomless and topless, respectively), and the cover and inside of the recent rolling stone (basically topless), and one of the shots from the new york post (wrapped in feather boa).

( britney can be as naked as she wants as far as i'm concerned. )

i don't need nobody else

my daddy can go from 'aaaaaaaaaaah help' (tone: falsetto, panicky) to 'that is not correct' (tone: irritable-but-restrained-only-through-great-effort) in 0.5 seconds.

hahahaha HEART.

if i could have sunlight in the palm of your hand

d: sheila? is this my final position?
m: yes. i asked you if there was anything that hurt and you said no.
d: well... i think you misunderstood that conversation.

[later]
d: oh... aaaaaaaaaahhh ow.
m [laughing]: now do they hurt?
d: what i want to know is, who took my wife and replaced her?
m: you've got the same wife you always had.
d: i was afraid of that... you shouldn't make me laugh cause it makes my shoulders hurt.

lalala

and lo, the oxford english dictionary didst consume so much crack that e.b. white's elements of style did eschew it, and the child that wast conceived upon it did grow within the shadow of its shame as in the shadow of a mighty Tree of Shamefulness. so that when it was time for her to go forth the OED didst say unto her 'lo, childe, go forth and utilize, pretentiously, nigh unto hordes of pretentious words,' and go forth she didst, never knowing that such a thing as Style might exist, and she didst compose many long-winded essays for the johnny_depp_fans, and even unto the community depp_daily did she send them. and her words were many, but no less numerous were her errors of grammar, for she knew not of Style. and the elements of style did turn its back, and weep, for a crack-child of the OED is a terrible thing to behold.

overheard conversations

cuddlepint: what i really want is one of those two-foot-tall pink fuzzy gorillas.

...the fuck?

sign on the dotted line

AHAHHA an autographed 'JESUS LOVES YOU' balloon*? who the fuck has the authority to sign it?

*cuddlepint saw it at the state fair

this entry brought to you by defcon owl tarps: keeping owls dry... for the future.