hahahah.

This was written by xiphias and i found it via metaquotes.

 So, the Republican National Committe gave us a Platinum donor card for our lifelong support of the party, and sent it with a postage-paid envelope for us to send back a donation.

So I wrote them a note. On the back of an unemployment check envelope.

To whom it may concern:

My wife and I have both been unemployed or underemployed since Bush stole the White House with thuggish and vicious intimidation of voters. We watched with horror as he gutted the programs protecting us from terrorists and blame him for 9/11. We abhor his bigoted anti-gay policies, think he's a wishy-washy waffler on stem-cell research, have noticed his utter contempt for scientific research, the environment, and the public good in general, and believe that he is evil and going to hell.

He also looks like a chimpanzee, and is a draft-dodging, drug-addicted, alcoholic, AWOL coward, who cheats at rugby, never succeeded at anything in his life that wasn't given to him, and has yet to utter a grammatical sentence that wasn't written for him, and even then it's iffy.

Anyway, thank you for your membership in your Platinum club, and we will be using this to get access to candidates.

Here's hoping you lose in November by such a large margin that your Diebold cheating can't steal the election -- again.

Sincerely,

Ian Osmond

PS: And the economy is your fault, too.

finland update

got a mailing that consisted of a letter all in finnish, an information sheet in english on how to appeal a decision, a half-sheet, poor-quality xerox of a form letter stating that permits are now given out in finland, not via mail, due to a new policy; and a receipt for my processing fee.  they've been uploaded and hopefully wax will have translated by the time i wake up, so i won't have to have this stress headache for more than a few hours, and hopefully i won't get too many more stress-related pimples in that time.

p.s.: have you ever noticed how it's easier to sing "just get drunk cause mary's black" than "just get crunk cause mary's back"?

cim's greatest hits

from 28 may 2004

 me: you know, it's odd, but writing a sex scene from someone's point of view doesn't make it any harder to work with them the next day. ...or the same day.
taumas: i guess it depends on how graphic it is.
me: no. ahahah. no. it really doesn't.

(no subject)

LJMeme.com Crush Meme

Number of crushes on me so far: 3

LJ username:

randominity

the new winamp's skins and color schemes are super-sexy.

a sock?

i feel the deep-seated, possibly insatiable urge to shop.

delayed anecdote that might belong in customers suck

happened my last day.

i was ringing up groceries, and turned on my brain->mouth Small Talk Autopilot Function.

Small Talk Autopilot!Cim: [reading Some Lady's shirt] oh, camp david.
Some Lady: yes, well, i've never been there but my daughter works for the vice president!
STA!C: huh.  the vice-president... huh.  [making a connection] that's funny, because he's not on very good terms with his OWN daughter.
SL: [vehemently, and immediately]:  yes he is.  yes, he is, with both of them. both of them were with him last weekend on the plane--i saw both of them with him on the plane just last saturday.
STA!C: [skeptically] the lesbian one?
SL: yes.  even her.  they--
STA!C: wow! weird! ...i hope she doesn't VOTE for him.  that would be horrible.
SL [turning purple and narrowing eyes, deliberately]: well you know what?  you're just a silly little girl who should keep her opinions to herself.
cim [startled out of small talk autopilot mode, raising eyebrows in bemusement]: noooo, i'm a lesbian who believes everyone has the right to marry as they choose.
SL: well i don't think United needs you giving your political opinions to their customers.
cim [grinning]: it's my last day!
SL: well... well... then i guess you can just... say whatever you want then... to... whoever you want!  can't you!
cim: i will!
SL: [storms off and proceeds to raise stink at the service counter]

i apologized, not very profusely, to mike, one of the managers.  he seems astonished that i felt the need to apologize and assured me it was alright, while seeming still puzzled at the woman's bizarrely rude behavior.  (plus, complaining after being told it was my last day... uh?  one of the sackers told me she said something about "it's not the united way."  yeah, lady.  united is all about the HATE!... oh wait.  that's you.)

i was a little surprised at first that they were so tolerant, given an admittedly christian-centric sorta viewpoint at the central office; but then i realized that at OUR market street it's no secret that Rat-Frog Manager is gayer than Boy George and everyone is very fond of him.  perhaps i just had, like, the best EVER place to work.

s/r

hahaha.  shoebox_project is really wonderful.  it's not precisely astonishing that it's so popular, as that it happened to get that way when plenty of other brilliant things never do manage.  luck, i guess!  pleasing the gods? rave and jaida's personal charm?  who knows. 

which reminds me--I NOTICED THAT YOU DIDN'T EMAIL ME, dorkorific. don't think i didn't notice.  i'm making a tally of all the emails you didn't send, and at the end of time, for each one you're going to have to listen to a lot of celine dion songs while being ogled by middle-aged homophobic men.  i haven't decided for how long yet.  the point is that you need to email me soon.  in two weeks i'm going to finland!  i expect an email before then!

threesomes rock.

i think i will post my epic singin' in the rain threesome novellafic tomorrow or soon.

i love ot3s.  bisexual ot3s, that is.  mmmmh.  did i mention the king arthur ot3 rps ongoing by emilybored in knightgasm?  today's was especially delicious.  of course wax_jism's void was my introduction to the concept and i fell violently in love with it.  just one more way wax makes the world a better place, ahahahahah.  plus i have this partially (very partially)-written regency AU pirates fic where jack is a rich cit whose fortune was made in the indies, and he was raised there, and his mother was spanish.  elizabeth is his english wife, and her parents live on a very nearby estate, titled but impoverished, and somewhat shocked by jack, but always uncomfortably overlooking things because he's so rich and has payed off her brother's gambling debts.  and then will comes as the new stable boy.  uh-huh.  it's a very sexy unwritten story.  someone should needle me to work on it.  i even have like a scene and a half written down, but the whole thing is in my head.  the idea came from a dream--i was elizabeth in it.  (it was a good dream, oh yes.)