sleeping and not

you know, it was a lot easier to get to sleep when i was

a) depressed and
b) not depressed because i was on paxil.

you see that my downfall, here, is being pretty good regardless of the medication i take.  where "pretty good" refers to depression and not ability to get to sleep.  :facepalm:  i go to bed by midnight.  i toss! i turn!  i'm awake past two.  i try to read myself to sleep.  my brain can keep reading indefinitely.  oh noes! it's three!  i read until i'm actually tired--then am so exhausted that i take a nap the next afternoon... and am wide awake PAST three. 

OTOH today despite staying up late i seem to be relatively alert.  maybe napping is the solution after all. 

except it really, really sucks to be lying in bed so bored that you deeply contemplate no less than four stories in three different fandoms, flirt with your original sf universe and even ponder your future in academia and the field of sociology.

your feminist bias is showing

man cannot live by smörgås alone.  sandwich, yes (well, that and water).  smörgås, no.  at least, not for very long.  this is an important distinction to make.

so that time my essay effort was more properly expended, which is to say about ten percent of it was spent on condensing the thing.  ambiguously gay coffehouse skinhead lecturer can't truly expect an equal balance of lecture and literature when the lecture and literature have so little to do with one another, anyway.  it's really a pity i don't more enjoy giving historical overviews, because i'd be revelling in the first half of this course.  i think my own critical thinking is welcome and he's probably going to deduct points for not having more personal thoughts, but ... what space is there for personal reflection in a dangerously strongly condensed historical overview? 

"[two decades in one paragraph].  and during this time, much of the research i haven't got space to enumerate for you in order to make this comment relevant was conducted by women, but very little of this female research occupies a reference position within the fandom field.  that's either because It Just Makes Sense that men have more insight about themselves than women do even though they don't have more insight about any other subject... or because in this field as in every other field we can think of, work by men gets a disproportionate weight of influence.  the lecturer seems to lean towards the latter explanation.  i suggest this is yet another example of men having less insight than women.  a particularly lovely ironic one, in fact."

for the first time it occurs to me that it's probably a good thing i don't compose essays as if i were writing a journal entry.

the dark is rising supplementary material #1

( the legend of herne the hunter, v. london walks )

( v. morris dancing--seriously )

( v. do you believe in ghosts? )

this has to do with one of the bunnies that's been gnawing away at my leg. it also involves almost the whole of arthurian legend and some ideas ripped off from greek mythology and a tenuous metaphysical connection to highlander that probably exists only in my own mind.

( v. descent myth crossover )

( v. deer )