ahhhhhhhhh

The plumber originally came and did his thing in the kitchen and then left without talking to us, only to the builder, because he's a subcontractor; but we didn't actually know when he was coming again. Only when Wax called and asked them the builder was like, "Oh yeah, he's scheduled to come tomorrow!" Nobody had told us is all. He was here 2 days and finished in the kitchen, and started the downstairs bath. He hasn't hooked up the drain yet or hooked up the washing machine which is still in the basement but BIL is supposed to come help us move it this weekend I think. Anyway, he plumbed that stuff and then didn't show up the next day AGAIN so presumably his next free day is scheduled already, or tentatively so, it's probably based on when his other jobs are, only again nobody told us when that is. (This isn't a huge issue; I just don't want to hang the mirror until he's done with the sink under it, in case it gets bumped... and also our tenant is supposed to start moving in a week from today I think?)

The electrician seems to be done with the inside of the house minus the entry hall and a couple more electrical outlets on the north walls of the dining room and living room; he told us he will presumably turn the electricity on on Monday, when he will also finish the under-cabinet lighting (it's our fault he couldn't, because we hadn't bought two of the parts accidentally - we're going to pick them up this weekend).

The upstairs library/craft room and bedroom are wired, although the electricity isn't on, so we built all the bookshelves and moved the books and some boxes into them. We still have to put back the baseboards in the bedroom though, so we can't move things into their proper places against the walls yet. Same issue in the living and dining rooms, although we have put boxes and furniture in the middles of them, leaving the edges free for the electrician. I was looking for a new outer door handle instead, and then we ordered light fixtures for the living and dining room last night at like, midnight. I have decision fatigue.

So that only left the kitchen. The appliances are not in there, because the electricity needs to be turned on first - the fridge and freezer are actually full of food at the moment, we don't have anywhere else to put it, and they have to go across into the other kitchen and be turned on right away. Same with the stove. But other than that and the lighting under the top cabinets, the kitchen is done, so we have started putting the drawers and shelves in the cabinets so we can put the fronts on. That was going mostly okay apart from a few slight issues where the diagrams were actually wrong, which is not usual for Ikea diagrams at all, but we were still able to figure it out... except then I got to the hinges.

When we bought everything, the shopping list was generated by Ikea's computer on the basis of the design we inputted with the help of their kitchen designer, and it was all broken up with a floorplan so you know which door and which inside bits go with which cabinet pieces and they're numbered. It even lists which cabinets the lighting kits go to even though that's obvious but it DOESN'T list the hinges. At all. There are 2 different types of hinges, one of the packets was open and I forgot that I had opened it, and for some reason there are 4 upper doors but only 3 soft-close dampeners. I'm so tired! And how am I supposed to find time to strip wallpaper & paint on this side of the house BEFORE we even move our stuff out of it?!

I did accidentally find out that we don't need to replace the outer door and we can have the lock rekeyed rather than replacing it, so that's something.

now 200% more medicated and still overwhelmed, but slightly less vibrating

I have decision fatigue from all the objects I've had to research (for 1950-house appropriateness: this is something I have to do because we care about it, not because anybody is making me - and for breathability: this is essential to the health of our house so it doesn't get moisture damage) and pick just in the past few months (so therefore excluding all the flooring and the kitchen and bathroom fixtures and all the paint and wallpaper on our side!!!): cabinet hardware, house numbers (black sans serif on white), door signs (hand painted wood or enamel), wood stove styles and chimney wall styles (parged, white-washed) and hearth styles (metal, poured cement, brick, or tile), exterior color schemes, floor paint, exterior lights, front doors, wall-mounted laundry racks (accordion style), interior lights, door levers and handles, locks - it didn't even occur to me that I might have to learn about lock styles. That might be all. It's all I can think of right now.

Every task I have to use executive function for right now, like loading the dishwasher or eating or making food, makes my face crumple up because I almost burst into tears. I finally remembered after a couple of days of this that a state of waves of panic and despair every time I come up against something like a screw that won't go in straight or a missing hinge can be somewhat ameliorated at least by benzos, so I took half of one of those. And I had been slowly panicking in the backgound also because my throat was hurting, but then I realized it's because I've been trying to work on our side which is still choked with construction dust so my sinuses and throat are crying out for relief, so I took allergy meds as well.

Earlier today I spent a few hours painstakingly figuring out which hinges go with which doors and panicking because we don't have a metal saw which it turns out we don't need because the diagram was misleading, but in spite of that I did manage to put all the shelves in the upper cabinets and... halfway order an outer door handle. (Despair spirals because the one that matches all our door handles isn't available in brass but the current one and the lock are brass. Do we have to replace the lock? I learned that you can put a new shell over the innards of the lock and it's also possible to chemically age brass so at least it would be dark brown and not clash with the chrome so much I guess, and with that decided to leave the lock alone and worry about it later, maybe when we strip and paint the door (something that obviously should be done in summer, because it leaves a hole where the door should be for a while.) So I did decide to just get the chrome one, but I left it in the shopping cart to consult Wax about whether we wanted a retro lock on the bathroom.

Some of the things we were planning to possibly pick up in person we're now trying to order because there's new infection clusters and they finally instituted a general recommendation for everybody to wear masks in public places like the grocery store, and of course, the people are idiots, so it's only about 30% of them doing it (at least at 10 pm which is when we go to the grocery store to avoid the crowds as much as possible). (That's better than we feared, actually. It was practically no one before.)

So: I saw someone saying something about screaming into a pillow, but it isn't the same, you know? I'm really holding out for the sound proofed rooms.