weasel words

[cimorene]

ever since a beta brought it to my attention about a year ago, i have been more conscious of my own tendency to use the particular phrase "a little" way too much in my own writing. i manage to edit it out again as i go along for the most part, now.

now i'm noticing that the roughest drafts i produce have this problem even more seriously: someone needs go to through everything i write with a pointy stick or a whip or a cane or something and chase out every instance of weasel phrases like "sort of", "kind of", "a little", "a bit", "rather" *cough* and "or something", and in many cases also "really" and "very". i mean, fortunately i can do it myself, but i'm appalled at how much of it gets into the rough draft. for that matter, i'm appalled at the thought of how much of this kind of sloppiness i missed before isilya inadvertently sensitised me to it.

i think it's sort of the equivalent of a verbal tic, probably a holdover from the way i talk. example: "the only response to his last question was a shamefully inarticulate sort of purring hum" - what is 'sort of' doing there? nothing. it's completely meaningless.  it might as well be "like" or "um", for all the good it does.

and while "really" and "very" are supposedly intensifying adverbs while the others are the opposite, in the text most of the time they serve the exact same purpose (ie, none) and probably come from the same place - some kind of hesitation in me when i'm composing the sentence. and usually they do the same thing - make the sentence weaker.

Comments

[kessie.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I probably have a similar problem actually, now that I think about. I'll have to take a look at my current two rough drafts and rummage around. I definitely use "rather" too often.

But, uh, on a similar thread, I have 2,000 words of Tezuryo in Word right now, and I think I finally know what I'm doing, and it's trundling along towards the end quite nicely. But... there's... sex and stuff in it, and it's not just vaguely-described, either, and most definitely not of a R rating and... can I send it to you when I'm done because it's so long since I've written anything like this, I'm sort of flapping my hands and squeaking.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

yeah! definitely! send away. :D

[emmuzka.livejournal.com]

Ha! In my texts there are many "things". Actual, distinctive words seem to be amiss sometimes, there are only these things and those things...

[cimness.livejournal.com]

ohhh, for some reason i'm more about "stuff" than "things". :D

[bibliotech.livejournal.com]

I keep telling myself that someday I will write a story without using the words "somewhat", "mostly", "kind of" or "almost". I have no idea how, but I will try!

[cimness.livejournal.com]

it would probably be a good exercise!

[kishmet.livejournal.com]

I would agree that in most cases, those words and phrases tend to make a sentence weaker. I try to get rid of them in most of the fics I write, if I can.

Sometimes those words serve a purpose in my writing, though. I have no clue whether it works for my readers or not, but I do have a reason for it. For instance, if I'm writing from Momoshiro's point of view, I include some of those because that's the way I tend to think that he thinks. If I want a fic to be nice and smooth and have a literary feel to it, then I eliminate those words and phrases. If I want it to have more of a down-to-earth, stream of consciousness feeling, I tend to use them. Just a thought, and I'm sorry for rambling. :)

[cimness.livejournal.com]

my dad once conveyed to me a piece of advice which was uttered by a professional science fiction writer whom i admire, but which i paraphrase cause i can't remember the quote. the gist is that the things you're the most personally fond of in your own writing are the most dangerous, and it's those which you should be the most most ruthless about cutting out in the editing stage. when he first told me this i was only nineteen and hadn't been writing seriously for very many years, so i thought he was a little insane, and for the most part ignored him. it was only as time passed and i came to cringe in embarrassment when looking back on stories i'd written in the past that i realised i believe he is right - the things i love the most at the time are the things i go overboard on and subsequently outgrow. when my head is cooler (ie when my infatuation passes a year later or so), i tend to consider them in the nature of frivolous excess or unnecessary fat. that doesn't actually mean every instance should be cut out - just that my policy is to keep fewer of them than i like.

still, i am certainly firmly a proponent of making your own narrative voice echo the pov character's, to keep the pov deep and very firm, and naturally any tics which fit the character are a part of that. although it's still important to police myself so i don't go overboard, those parts carry a certain exemption. :)

[melle.livejournal.com]

you know what? that is actually part of what i find so endearing and enjoyable about your writing. i've actually found myself emulating it, to a degree (not that i write much, but yeah). i think it has to do with being able to "hear" the fic, which makes it that much more "there" for me. (i am an auditory creature.)

i don't begrudge anyone improving themselves, but i just thought you should know that these weasel words make your fics so unique, and i love them. :)

[aeslis]

I have a tendency to use them too, and I actually picked it up from Elfie, I think. In my opinion they add a bit of style. Otherwise... well, removing things is all very well and good, but sometimes it brings a sentence down to the bare bones and it gets pretty dry... though not always.

Er. Yeah. I wish it were not 3am where you are right now ;o;

[aeslis]

Oops. that was not meant as a reply to you XD;; Sorry!

[melle.livejournal.com]

it's okay! :P

[cimness.livejournal.com]

just missed me! i went to bed at one!

i have to start getting up on time because classes start next week and i'll have them at 10 am mon-thu.

but don't worry - of course i don't eliminate all of them. of course any peculiarity gives the writing a little stylisation, but stylisation is both something to be cultivated and something to be wary of it. the style being too thick isn't desireable in all circumstances, and in those it's easy to go overboard with it. it all depends on how deep the point of view is and the character and what's going on with the story and whatnot.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

heeee! thank you very much! and allow me to reassure you - i certainly don't mean that i eliminate all of them from my writing, just that you have to watch where you put them. if you're using them for character voice in the narration, you have to consider if they make the character's voice as opposed to letting them slip through because they're your voice. (i deleted "a little" probably over fifty times from "instantaneous", but there were still plenty of weasel words left in the final draft!)