cimorene

In "The Affair at the Victory Ball", HASTINGS comes in and is like

HASTINGS: Hai bb u ready? It's not raining, so... bb? Hello?
[POIROT's in his dressing gown with a monocle in, happily handling stamps with a pair of tweezers.]
POIROT: Huh?
HASTINGS: You FORGOT our DATE? :(((((
POIROT: Wut?
HASTINGS: THE BALL! u sed ud go2 th ball with me!
POIROT: Sry but... unfortunately I must sort my stamp collection in order of size. Wat cn u do?
HASTINGS: SRSLY U GUYS.
POIROT: <.<
HASTINGS: U guys!
POIROT: >.>
HASTINGS: Srsly!
POIROT: Um...
HASTINGS: Well... that's sad cuz this 1 guy rly want 2 meet u.
[Poirot perks up.]
HASTINGS: Yes, he said it'd be the highlight of his career. *puppy face*
POIROT: OK lets go~

A few minutes later

POIROT: U dun yet?
[HASTINGS comes out dressed in a complete JANE AUSTEN MOVIE OUTFIT with tight white pants and a little blue coat with a humongous collar and does a catwalk twirl in front of the door]
HASTINGS: Wat u think?
[POIROT is uncharacteristically speechless for a minute.]
HASTINGS: Bb? :(?
POIROT: HASTINGS, wow. U look... ~~fabulous~~ ~~hot~~ really, really... magnificent.
HASTINGS: :D