THE HORRIFYING THINGS SCALE

[cimorene]

What follows is a meticulously calibrated scale of Levels of Horror generated by particular tropes and elements of a story. Every story falls somewhere on this scale. Examples at each point provide convenient references!

10. CHILD RAPE is more horrifying than
9. a MAFIA SEX HOUSE is more horrifying than
8. a PENIS SHRAPNEL injury is more horrifying than
7. SURPRISE VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER is more horrifying than
6. SURPRISE lubeless FISTING is more horrifying than
5. SURPRISE secret EATING DISORDER is more horrifying than
4. background DEAD!MIKEY [aka background dead!main character] is more horrifying than
3. COMPLETELY OOC DIALOGUE is more horrifying than
2. EVERYBODY'S GAY (even Andy and Joe) [aka even the really straight ones] is more horrifying than
1. TRIVIAL CANON ERRORS (such as meat-eating Frank).

A 0, of course, is not horrifying at all.

An appropriate comment for anything between 1 and 9 on the scale is "Well, at least it's not child rape."

Comments

[vass]

How does one do veggie smoke, though?

Either get some vegie 'meat' and smoke it the traditional way, like you would with real meat, or else just add some smoke flavouring while you make it.

Oh, and the advantage of vegan 'hotdogs' is that they're just the right shape for wrapping in a slice of bread and devouring, and they don't have hair or feces in them, like I've heard some real hotdogs do.

[brownbetty]

Yes, but the disadvantage to them is that they taste like hotdogs