something that will go down as one of the greatest crack ideas in history:

[cimorene]

elfiepike: there clearly needs to be an aiba-is-the-transformed-pet story.
cimness: klajöslkddd
elfiepike: like, he was jun's cat!
elfiepike: and one day!
cimness: BUT HE CAN'T HAVE A  TAIL AND MILDLY EROTIC EARS, OKAY.
elfiepike: ahahahahahahahah! no, he's just like -
elfiepike: "i thought that jun looked like he was having fun as a person! i wanted to try it! i wanted to try it very hard!"
cimness: arashi could still exist! he could call everyone! it's an emergency!
elfiepike: it would have been the four-person arashi!
cimness: and sho would be like, "it's a mostly-naked hot guy emergency?" and "jun, i never knew you to go for the dumb and pretty type..."
cimness: ohno and aiba could get in a staring contest and nino could be like "i don't see what the problem is."

Comments

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

http://sweetstore.web.fc2.com/magazine_9_06/sw_barfout_9_06.htm
i'm having sudden images of ohno being the stay-at-home father of ohmiya's somehow-aquired child (one of their sister's dies and unwed mother? they adopt in a terribly PC fashion? they get a girl to be the mother and knock her up? whichever!) in an AU where they are not in the show*-business and nino is a salaryman and ohno does interesting and bizarre artwork that piles up in the spare bedroom; nino keeps trying to convince ohno to try to display his artwork, but ohno is strangely noncommital to the idea, even though in this version he went to art school and everything like he might have if he hadn't joined arashi.

...i must be stopped.

s-h-o-double

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

jun is clearly the very gay neighbor that always hits on ohno when ohno goes to take the baby to the park. ohno-the-stayathome-papa is very good at being oblivious to intrusive questions and keeping the ohmiya household fairly out of gossip. jun, nonetheless, when he finds out ohno is an artist, says, "ah, i take photographs! i could photograph you someday, maybe?" with terrible innuendo but also friendly intentions!

i think jun manages some kind of club, maybe, something where he's out late but home during the middle of the day. he ends up taking--not very good photos, honestly, but they're very sweet; he joins ohno and the baby on an outing to the park and when nino sees the photos later he's kind of like, why are you hanging out with him? stop already, he just wants to get into your pants--but he's totally thinking, oh, how lucky i am with ohno and the baby.

sho and nino work together.

aiba is um. something. somewhere!

would you be mine, would you be mine

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

maybe aiba can be the preschool teacher!

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

possibly sho is really a hobo in this AU.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

at least he kind of looks like one! omg, ahhahah, i wake up to crazy au bunny spam! ♥ if only i could do this every day! eventually nino will come to like jun who will realise the futility of hitting on ohno, even though he won't stop doing it because it amuses him. omg, ohno's obliviousness ♥♥

aiba the preschool teacher! without jun as his co-teacher! nobody to stop him from baking disasters!

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

it is completely futile! ohno is just--completely non-reactive about it! XD! he's like, oh, i think you're nice too! and then is like, ah, i've gotta go, the baby is eating grass again--or something. there's actually honestly more likely to be times where nino, out of frustration with the very rare inability to understand what ohno is thinking, will go over to jun's and drink and say YOU CAN HAVE HIM, REALLY. those are the only times jun does not insuate things.

XD i think he would totally manage to keep up with a class of wee children, yo.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

me: they love each other.
the roommate: seriously, the one picture that they're not standing next to each other ohno's going, "nino, nino, come here--"

[cimness.livejournal.com]

ohno really isn't taking his eyes off nino in that series! clearly he is contemplating how lucky he is. i guess that happens every now and then. maybe he was drawing nino and he liked the picture or nino was extra cute in the morning or spontaneously made ohno his favourite breakfast.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

even in the picture where jun is on the bars and nino and ohno are turned with their backs to the camera and are several feet apart ohno is clearly looking at nino!

[cimness.livejournal.com]

yeah, he looks kind of anxious! or else just preoccupied with nino right then. maybe nino was teasing him this morning and he's been staring all day trying to figure out if nino really meant his threats about various slightly kinky things, and whether he should worry if he did. or maybe he missed nino and is glad to have him back.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

ahahah, and here i was just thinking that ohno was watching nino because nino was doing or about to do something silly.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

so you mean like in a constant state of imminent or just-completed silliness?

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

XD possibly the shroedinger's cat of silliness! nino could, at any time, be silly or not be silly. ohno, by nature of observing, changes the result! so ohno is being a scientist. (like aiba.)

[cimness.livejournal.com]

*die*

[cimness.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHH ADOPTING. can you see them in their little suits in like an adoption office waiting room! and earnestly listening about contracts and stuff!

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

OMG. that would be an AWESOME g no arashi: pretend to be gay & go see what it's like to adopt a child!

i secretly want it to be some bizarre situation that has them adopting this kid, like, it was one of ohno's art-school chum's kid but she dies in a car crash! or something terrible and similarly dramatic.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

why not! the more crack, the merrier! ahahahhahahaha, sho assigning the two teams to do this! whoever adopts a baby FIRST wins!

...i would love to see aiba with a preschool class! he would manage everything, just in a cute aiba manner! actually, jun is astonishingly good with small children too; either one of them independently could be a preschool teacher. *__*

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

but i can't think of how else to get aiba in the idea. XD! whereas jun can be cute and a good babysitter (even if ohmiya are somewhat dubious) just as a neighbor.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

http://page.freett.com/wind_aiba/M02myojo10.10.jpg
PERHAPS THIS IS THE BABY THE ADOPT. AHEM.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

(that or it's nino's mpreg baby. ahahhah)

[cimness.livejournal.com]

error! :(

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

copy-paste the url! :D

[cimness.livejournal.com]

OMG! ... *_* omg!

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

http://page.freett.com/wind_aiba/M02WINKUP8.htm
omg, their shirts are paired off. XD

[cimness.livejournal.com]

omg. WHAT. ahahahhahahah.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

they are getting married in pairs! and sho officiates. as always.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

in hawaiian shirts... and rollerblades! this sounds like it could be an episode too, actually.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

http://page.freett.com/wind_aiba/M02potato10.htm
OMG AIBA. HE CANNOT LOOK ANGSTY TO SAVE HIS LIFE. AHAHAAHH.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

AHAHHA. jun's like, "^.~ stop laughing, you DORK."

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

whereas ohmiya went through some misunderstandings, they know how to look at each other meaningfully. sho, off camera, is like, "look like you did when ohno did the thing and you guys didn't perform ohmiya sk!" and they're like, ... do we have to?

and the photographer is like, "yes, you do!" not even caring what they're talking about.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

yeah! it takes a slight effort to look at each other angstfully instead of with overwhelming fluffiness! but the wistfulness is also at their beck and call.