epiphany: school is supposed to educate AND NOT BE COMPLETELY BORING! (no, really. epiphany.)

[cimorene]

Last night's lecture (course for classroom assistants), the second from a Special Education teacher, was mostly about the national guidelines for building local and school-level curricula/course of study.

The teacher talked about leveling and how it was abolished entirely in Finland in the mid-1980s, all the way from elementary school up to high school (where the Finnish system splits into entirely voluntary technical schools and academic high schools). Even reading and maths are integrated for the whole class and Finland also has no what she called "elite" (or inherently leveled) schools. There isn't money to truly provide special needs children with THEIR education all the way throughout the country, which has many rural areas dotted with tiny rural schools with as few as 2-3 teachers and 15-50 students. Imagine, then, how little provision is possible for children of above-average intelligence. The lecturer admitted to me that these children are frequently not provided for; the ideal is that the teachers are meant to look at each individual pupil's level and provide them with more to do (or less to do, and more help), but the only REQUIREMENT is that the basic curriculum be taught in a certain way to everyone (except for special-needs students for whom a formal process provides exceptions).

God, I mean, just imagine how boring (I suspect, though, given that Finland has some of the best education in the world going by tests and so on, that it's actually still less boring than my childhood was). I was bored, and many many people are bored even in advanced classes (even primary school classmates who IQ-tested into the special weekly "Gifted and Talented" additions, as they were called in Alabama, but then didn't make the performance-based cuts to the top advanced levels of English, History, and math in middle school at grade 6).

There is no question that a child of above-average intelligence is in less need of help than a child with learning difficulty. Of course, the resources of society should be aimed at the latter, because the former is just bored, and the odds are, has the intellectual resources to find something else to do, and keep themselves occupied. But that's not to say that the deeply-ingrained habit of utter boredom and superiority imprinted on these children by inadequate primary school doesn't harm them! I actually didn't realize until the last several years how much it harmed me, but I am starting to think now that it was a lot worse for me than I suspected.

I am so accustomed to boredom, so used to it from the first day I transferred from a private Montessori school in New York to the Alabama public schools at age 6, that it didn't even occur to me until last night's lecture that the AIM of schooling is actually not only to "challenge" every pupil (a platitude I've often heard and which, let's face it, is problematic and in many cases not actually meant) - but to keep them occupied. The infinite variety of ways to occupy yourself "After you finish your work" was so familiar to me that I sat dazed and confused for several minutes while the lecturer talked about the ways classroom teachers can and do try to provide extra material and assignments for the above-average so they don't just sit twiddling their thumbs! "Isn't thumb-twiddling an essential, indeed, the MAIN point of school?", I thought at first.

I estimate that from age six when I started reading my own novels in class (first with Babysitter's Little Sister, quickly on to Babysitter's Club and Nancy Drew and thence to YA and adult fantasy from my parents' library), I was never without several personal books brought to read per day in my extra time, and I typically finished at least one per day all the way up through 7th grade, which was the first time I encountered classes I couldn't get through even if I kept reading the entire time the teacher was talking. I still remember the staggering force of my epiphany, in 7th grade "social studies" (really world history) that not only could I be engaged if I listened to the teacher only instead of reading while listening with one ear, what she was saying was actually complex enough to require more than one ear's attention to understand! Through high school, I was still able to finish a novel in a day to a week reading only in the time after I finished my work; but in primary school, I probably spent a good 50%-70% of my school hours reading.

And, hey, I have just fully realized the magnitude of that. Because... that is wrong. That is FUCKED-UP. And that should be obvious - should have been obvious to a long string of teachers who kind of weren't doing their jobs, not that it was really their fault with the utterly inadequate resources given to public education in Alabama.

Comments

[effex]

So, so familiar. Except that they took my books away (seriously, the school asked my parents to check my bag every morning) because they were afraid it was ~distracting~ me. The California school system failed me hard.

[laughingrat]

Yeah, that was something that popped out at me too. At least some of us got to keep our books. We were learning something, engaging with something, if not with school. Once I was in a daily/all-day gifted program, there were actually novels and interesting nonfiction on the shelves for us to read in between lecture/q-and-a sessions. Having that option to read was considered an important part of our learning.

I had a daycare once that took away my books. My parents didn't keep me there very long.

[cimorene]

I was forced to go to aftercare and summer camp until I was about eight, but they frequently took away books or forced us to go outside (not allowing books out there usually), and I hated it so much that after 8 my parents gave up and just let me stay home alone!

[laughingrat]

Same here. I was seriously freaked out the day the daycare center attendant forced me to sit in a circle with four and five year olds and sing songs. Not only did she take my book away, but she wanted me to perform. And on top of that, she had the nastiest look of triumph on her face at my discomfiture...well, let me tell you, that daycare shit did not last long. I'm shocked my parents accepted any kind of feedback from me on the subject, but they must've, because I wound up being a latchkey kid too.

[cimorene]

I remember hating all daycares and always being introverted, but I didn't read until kindergarten, so I don't remember what my avoidance strategies were before then. But in general, a lot of times when commanded to participate I would flat-out refuse, and I was a very stubborn, as well as a very articulate kid - and my mom would almost always support my stubbornness.

[sedge]

In kindergarten (1975), I was one of six girls in a class of thirty. I knew how to read. I was an ad hoc teacher's assistant: occasionally, the teacher would hand me a book and a handful of kids to read to, and voila! lower teacher/student ratio. (I remember enjoying being helpful. I don't remember it being hard. Overall I still think it was a good thing.)

In third grade, I got in trouble for sneaking the books that were for later in the year off the shelf instead of doing math review. We spent half of each year reviewing the math we'd learned the year before, including the review from the year before. You can bet that got boring and uninteresting fast, especially when I was already reading Zelazny and Katherine Kurtz and Andre Norton's adult novels... at speed-reader speeds.

I guess I got a reputation for having my nose buried in a book even when I wasn't supposed to: in fifth grade they gave me an "avid reader" award. I think they meant well. It just reminds me of all the times I got into trouble for avoiding boredom by sneaking in some reading time.

The annoying part? They figured out I was a gifted reader when I was in first grade: I got sent to the advanced second-grade reading group in the second half of first grade. One of the other girls in my class got skipped a grade ahead partway through first grade because of her math ability.

Did they notice my math skills? No. *is bitter*

And yet my father-the-mathematician says that he taught me the beginnings of calculus in fifth grade. (I'd mostly forgotten that, but now I have to wonder if that's part of why parts of first year calculus were so easy for me in high school, *even with an unconsciously misogynistic teacher*. Seriously, she wouldn't even call on her own daughter very often. I really don't think she knew she was doing it.)

I will admit that they did work it out eventually: in middle school, I took seventh grade math in sixth grade.

In junior high, all my classes were gifted classes, but I don't recall working very hard, even so.

High school was small and for gifted kids. It actually was a really good thing for me, because I learned that I couldn't coast *before* I got to college. And we learned how to use an academic library for serious research in senior English.

Calc II in high school didn't exactly have grades and was really free form, but the teacher of the class told me at the end of the year that I was the best student in the class. I hadn't noticed (largely because we spent most of our time discussing math as a group, sort of like a seminar).

I didn't believe him.

Now I wonder what would have happened if I had?

Dang. This struck a nerve.

I started to write some of this up a while ago, but never finished, largely because I realized for the first time how bitter I was about the math thing.

[cimorene]

Wow. Your experiences are definitely worse - but I went through the system a decade later, which probably has something to do with it (and I know there's a fairly large regional variation in quality of public schools in the US: Alabama's are near the very bottom for the most part, but I was lucky to grow up in the home of the flagship university). From what other people have said in these comment threads, it looks like I was unusually lucky in terms of how much reading I was able to get away with! Your math experiences are really sad. And to me, at least, doing the same math you already know over is more boring than reading an old or below-level book, although God knows elementary reading classes are agonizing enough. But I wonder if your dad would have gotten results from demanding the school push you forward, or test you? My parents had to do that a few times, and I knew other children whose parents did even more over the years.

[sedge]

I think (but I don't really remember) that my parents did some pushing on that before they decided to do stuff at home. I don't know what was available. I don't even know if they knew I was extra good at math yet--I remember my father getting fed up with all the review and the boredom and thinking it wasn't good for anyone. I do know that because my father's a professor and my mother was in grad school in developmental psych that they did have a close eye on my academics.

I am really grateful to my parents that they never gave me false praise. (And that they did tell me when I had actually been doing good work.) I can only imagine how much worse things would have been for me.

I do remember a certain amount of just playing with math with my father even if I don't remember the calc. (For instance, I remember graphing exponential growth of a penguin population with him.) And one winter when the schools were closed a lot during the energy crisis and the Blizzard of '78, my mother did some ad hoc homeschooling.

I also remember being sent to a math tutor in junior high. Some of the kids were there because they had trouble in school. I was there because my mother wanted to make sure I had fun with math (and also to make sure I got my homework done, because I had a tendency to ignore it in favor of reading). I have this really great memory of having an excellent time proving the Binomial Theorem.

It is somehow really strange, looking back at what were my parents' clear efforts to make sure I didn't have my math ability ignored, to think about my inability to see my own abilities.

[laughingrat]

This post of Cimorene's has really been amazing for a lot of people, I think. And the comments, too. Cimorene, did you expect this post to become this Big? :-D

I liked reading your story. Now I remember math stuff too, heh. Although for me, the reading was always the focus--whether because it was my first love and my only escape for some time, or because other people focused on it for me (so to speak), I'm not sure. The high school you went to sounds really neat, like they really did want you all to learn and grow and (I think this is important) experience joy doing that. Because all schools, in theory, want us to learn and grow, but we don't get much joy in the process.

Despite some of the uncomplimentary things I've said about my parents, they did, at least when I was young, try to get me interested in things that would challenge me and help me learn. I remember finding a fossil with my dad and asking him how it got that way, and rather than come up with a BS answer he said, "Well, let's find out." That was awesome and brave of him. So we went to read all about fossils and for a while I wanted to be a paleontologist. :-D I was maybe five, six at the time.

Math classes...something really crappy happened in middle to high school, I dunno. It's like I became a little mouse or something. In mid-elementary school I was taking math classes (as were many in my class) at the middle school, but the teacher I had was so spiteful I just hated it. She really resented the younger kids' coming to her class. Not to be a drama queen, but after that I was convinced I was stupid at math and I hated it.

[cimorene]

No, not really! It really struck a nerve, that's plain to see! I guess most of us, being adults now, don't think about these issues much anymore... but we VIVIDLY remember how much we cared at the time.

[effex]

[sighs] I really wish my middle school had had a decent gifted program - they had something (I don't remember what it was called) that was for an hour once a week, making clay maps and drawing pictures, not particularly helpful. At least the librarians liked me (and remembered me years later, when my younger sister was attending) - they'd let me at the big kid books and bring stuff over from the high school.

The biggest problem, I think, was that the school was an old one in an area experiencing rapid growth - there were 30+ kids in all of my classes from Kindergarten though 9th grade, hundred of kids in the school, and they weren't able to adapt :( The private school my parents eventually sent me to (9th-11th) was better but... quirky.

[cimorene]

"Making clay maps and drawing pictures"? WTF? That sounds more like daycare than enrichment classes!

Yet another thing to be grateful for - decent enrichment teachers...

[cimorene]

Yeah, to be fair, I did participate in class discussions (even when reading through the lectures) enough that in most discussion-heavy classes (obvs. middle school on) I was one of the most participatory kids - and in elementary school I was also pretty loud whenever we had a chance to talk back.

I did have teachers TRY. I was reading a book inside my desk constantly during math in 4th grade, and the teacher and I got into a staredown with each other over it when I refused to hand it over to her! In retrospect, she must've been quite shocked, because I was her favorite student, and she my favorite teacher, and I was usually quite eager to please. In the end, she had a conference with me and my mom and we agreed that I had to make a slight effort to hide the book so the other kids would be less likely to notice I wasn't paying attention. <_<

[effex]

That's probably where I went wrong - I never really tried to participate. For a dozen different reasons, but still. And, uh. I never did my homework, almost failed a couple classes in middle school, because it just didn't seem worth the effort.

My teachers tried! But classes were big and I was quiet, so.

[cimorene]

Yeah, overcoming shyness on top of whatever else is really too big a challenge for most teachers, and if it's an above-average child and not one who needs help just to catch up, it's usually not going to get done. Really, this is mostly an argument for small class sizes. I think 12 is about ideal - that was my favorite class ever, tons of one-on-one time with the teacher, small group work, free and open class discussions, time to get to know everyone else and feel utterly comfortable until just coming into the classroom was like Ahhh, time to relax! This was my year-long Spanish 4&5 junior year. Probably helps that I was quite good at Spanish, but I think the class being so much fun also made me more interested in the subject.

[cimorene]

And occasionally there would be times when I really couldn't have a book out, which was when I got in the habit of drawing as a substitute. They never try to take away a pencil and paper! (Even a full set of colored pencils and another full set of markers...)

[effex]

I didn't really start with the art until high school - Mom put all us kids in a summer art camp at about the same time I was getting into manga - a potent and long lasting combination! I sketched tons in college during class... wonder what it would have been like to start earlier?

Why don't I have an art icon?

[cimorene]

That's very sad! My mom is obviously big on this and has a lot of really interesting books about art pedagogy - how and why teaching it young works, methods that train skill amazingly well even in small children, how it enriches their other learning. It's really a fascinating subject! And young children typically don't get remotely adequate art instruction in school. When they do get it it's frequently projects with all the steps outlined, like coloring pictures or cutting out construction paper shapes and pasting them together in pre-determined ways, which is exactly the opposite of how to teach art. At least it's fortunate that art isn't like languages - adults who have thought they can't draw their whole lives can still be quickly turned around by the same methods that work on kindergarteners.

PS you obviously need an art icon. I recommend fooish_icons - she has lots of gorgeous stock photography with rainbows and the like.

[lotesse]

God, I'm sorry. That's awful. I don't know how I would have made it through without my books.

[effex]

Thanks! I'm over it, really - I've compensated by having many, many books that I can read anytime I want :D

[cesare]

I got in trouble for reading in class too. They never took books away from me but they made me put them away so I'd "pay attention". That just encouraged me to daydream and write stories in my head.

These comments are so interesting, because this is definitely the story of my life too. Unlike Cim, I didn't finish everything fast and then read. I had contempt for the busywork and I'd put it off and then whip through it, or resist doing it at all. I had Cs in middle school English because I wouldn't fill out their stupid worksheets. My procrastination issues definitely started with being bored and unchallenged in school.

[cimorene]

I was contemptuous - of busywork, and also of adults who were condescending or whom I judged to be incompetent or unintelligent. But I was super, super obedient to my parents, and they were adamant that I could do what I wanted and didn't need to pay attention as long as the required work got done - this policy extended to not monitoring my homework, even if I wanted to do it in the car on the way to school or during class the next day; and abolishing my bedtime when I was nine years old.

They definitely taught me my contempt for other authority figures, combined with the ironclad law that I needed to make sure to follow the 'rules' (unless they were unjust) to avoid getting in trouble, come to think of it. I haven't fallen very far from the tree in these sorts of attitudes now, either.

[cimorene]

Oh! I didn't mention that they frequently made me put them away and pay attention - I just hid them instead. I would have actually put them away, probably, being naturally timid, but my mother told me to hide the books. In fact, she started telling me about her career of hiding novels during lessons even before I started school, I'm pretty sure. "Just don't get caught, because I won't tell the teacher that I told you to!" was her motto.

[cesare]

One time a teacher made me put a book away, and I sat near the front so I couldn't just hide it and keep reading, so instead I got out a little mirror and brush kit that a classmate had loaned to me and started brushing my hair. The teacher was incensed, and I was just like, "What, I can't even do that? I understand if you don't believe I can read and listen (though I totally can) but anyone can brush and listen at the same time!"

[effex]

Ha, me too! I had a real problem for a couple of years, doing really well on my tests but never turning in homework. My gpa in middle school was... not good.