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cimoreneSo, this conversation happened today with one of my oldest (though no longer closest) friends, as soon as I got online this morning and before I even had a chance to eat my breakfast:
Oh my fucking Gaga, that wasn't your point?
Obviously I possess the reading comprehension skills to get your "point". You thought it was oh-so-cute and ironic to catch out someone who, like me, dislikes gay hate speech accidentally offending someone with hipster racism. It's you who's missing my point, which is that when you make a point of exercising your privilege to say offensive things to someone across the privilege barrier when you know that they find those things to be offensive, that is by definition offensive.
Like, surely even a privilege denying dude (and this is a dude of color btw!) should realize that there can't be any way to champion the use of "gay" as a slur which isn't offensive to someone who is on the record as being offended by that usage? Because the mere fact that you're slapping me in the face every time you say it and I can't do anything about it is bad enough, but if you acknowledge that you already know how I feel about the issue, then you're basically saying "I could have the courtesy to not talk about X in front of you since I know you're offended by ablist language/not amused by rape jokes/gay, but I choose not to do so! You're not upset that I deny your marginalization, are you?"
Yeah.
And then I got on Dreamwidth and saw this! ontd_political: Governments remove sexual orientation from UN anti-discrimination resolution (includes itemized list of the 79 nations who voted to remove homosexuality from the list - including China, Cuba, Haiti, South Africa, and Russia - and the 17 who abstained - including Colombia, Fiji, Singapore, the Philippines, and Thailand).
X: so, remember when I told you i say stuff like "that's gay"?
X: welp. I have a friend in SF and somehow we got on the topic and of course I got a speech about how I shouldn't say that.
Cim: You shouldn't
X: well yes. i know how you feel about it.
X: but also I happened to counter with the notion that it was hypocritical of her since she probably does the same thing cept with some other topic like jews or something.
X: so today she made a jew joke in front of her best friend who's a jew
Cim: ...people still make jew jokes??
X: yeah lol. they've been friends a while so it's like fair game. he makes asian jokes, she makes jew jokes.
X: anyway, she happened to do it and some other girl happened to be jewish, which was the point of my story :D
Cim: Is that the end of your story? I didn't really wake up today planning to be helplessly enraged and reminded that I'm lacking civil rights all over the world.
X: :/
Cim: Gay jokes not as funny to gay people in the middle of losing battles over marriage and DADT. Protip
Cim: So nice to be told being offended over it isn't valid by straight people, btw!
X: ...
X: that wasn't my point
Oh my fucking Gaga, that wasn't your point?
Obviously I possess the reading comprehension skills to get your "point". You thought it was oh-so-cute and ironic to catch out someone who, like me, dislikes gay hate speech accidentally offending someone with hipster racism. It's you who's missing my point, which is that when you make a point of exercising your privilege to say offensive things to someone across the privilege barrier when you know that they find those things to be offensive, that is by definition offensive.
Like, surely even a privilege denying dude (and this is a dude of color btw!) should realize that there can't be any way to champion the use of "gay" as a slur which isn't offensive to someone who is on the record as being offended by that usage? Because the mere fact that you're slapping me in the face every time you say it and I can't do anything about it is bad enough, but if you acknowledge that you already know how I feel about the issue, then you're basically saying "I could have the courtesy to not talk about X in front of you since I know you're offended by ablist language/not amused by rape jokes/gay, but I choose not to do so! You're not upset that I deny your marginalization, are you?"
Yeah.
And then I got on Dreamwidth and saw this! ontd_political: Governments remove sexual orientation from UN anti-discrimination resolution (includes itemized list of the 79 nations who voted to remove homosexuality from the list - including China, Cuba, Haiti, South Africa, and Russia - and the 17 who abstained - including Colombia, Fiji, Singapore, the Philippines, and Thailand).
(no subject)
Date: 21 Nov 2010 06:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 21 Nov 2010 06:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 21 Nov 2010 08:21 pm (UTC)