additional plumbing mishaps & introvert problems

[cimorene]

Plumbing Disaster (Again)
There's been a week of rain which might be the reason that there is water coming up from the SUPPOSEDLY doesn't-work-or-go-anywhere drain in the center of the garage floor (the fact that it doesn't work didn't prevent water from going down it when it flooded I guess, or the rainwater from the gutters that isn't supposed to go there from feeding into it perhaps?).

So THEORETICALLY, this puddle, even though it smells slightly sewerish although not as bad as it could be, and the dripping pipe in corner of the basement, may be completely unrelated to the freak pipe-joinery-failure accident that caused the whole basement to flood dramatically last week, except inasmuch as the water from that likely contributed to this. But theoretically it doesn't mean the same problem from before coming back, or all the water being turned off and none of the toilets flushing, or whatever. It still might mean a very expensive fix if they have to dig up the old pipes that aren't legally allowed to connect to where they connect and do what they do or ... whatever. MIL and the plumber aren't here yet because we just noticed this very very late last night and Sunday night plumbing is not for that kind of issue.

Alone Time
I'm still on introvert overload and would rather go somewhere to scream quietly in secret than be here seeing plumbers and receiving mothers-in-law and talking about things. But not only do I have some stuff to do (online and building the bunny cage at least), I actually don't have anywhere I can go. I could always shut myself in the bedroom or bathroom, sure, but I'd still be in reach of knocks on the door.

Yesterday I spent a good fifteen minutes trying feverishly to think if there was anywhere I could go during the day to achieve a truly safe-feeling space where I could be completely alone and confident that nobody was going to walk in. Even if I could find such a place, though, I couldn't take Snookums with me, so it wouldn't be an effective way to actually relax (for more than a couple of hours); but the only thing I can think of is going walking - there's plenty of beach, forest, and other countryside and I could easily find a place where I was vanishingly unlikely to see anybody. But it's not as good, because it removes the likelihood of people around but doesn't provide like, a little hut that I could lock around myself with a locked door that I could go to sleep in.

...It's not like I don't have time alone. Probably the majority of the time I spend here at Knypplinge there aren't other people looking at me or talking to me, even when there are workers in the other half of the house (there's been a bit of a break in that now as the apprentices have gone back to school). But there's never any time when I know for sure that nobody is about to come looking at me or talking to me, plus Saturday was the only day I've had for a week where I went an entire day without seeing anybody except Wax, and usually without warning (with warning isn't nearly as bad).

I remember when I was a teenager my mom needing alone time so badly that she'd lock herself in the bedroom with a sign on the door asking not to be bothered if it wasn't AN EMERGENCYYYYYYY, and even with these measures she was often so out of spoons (grad school etc) that she'd lose it and snap or slam doors... I understand this far better now than I ever did at the time (though of course my problem was less lack of empathy for her stress and more being rather stressed myself by the effects of it...) My dad and I would be there, but my sister was preschool-to-elementary aged at the time and it was very very hard to persuade her not to bang on the door and yell questions and requests and whine through it incessantly (particularly because my mom has never been capable of consistency so the behavior would be rewarded with getting what she wanted intermittently and then occasionally with unpredictable explosions of temper instead... result of severe childhood abuse, but not great for boundaries and discipline with one's children. This is also why she can't train dogs or any other animals). My parents were pretty good at respecting MY boundaries then so as a teenager so I was usually perfectly able to be alone if I wanted (though not safe from the possibility of my mom in a mood banging on the door and yelling at me in a brief spell of irrational anger, which probably helps explain my need to ensure nobody is going to come bother me - like being home alone and not expecting anybody), in the sense of not being required to come out and interact in a meaningful manner. Not like being an adult, when if there's something going on you just have no choice but to come out and discuss it.

Comments

[yvannairie]

You may have already thought of this, and it doesn't solve the Snookums problem, but you could always grab your laptop/tablet and fuck off to the nearest library? Even the smallest ones usually have either a study room or at least a quiet nook at the back of the reference library where nobody ever checks. I've accidentally been locked inside libraries (public ones and school ones) doing this, and me and my friend who both didn't have a great deal of space for ourselves have used this method to unwind.

[cimorene]

Actually in this case I think it wouldn't work because the walls between the indivual rooms and the main space at this library are glass... but maybe another public space along those lines might work I guess.

[yvannairie]

This might not be a great suggestion either, but churches and community centers also often have spaces usually used by clubs and the like that they sometimes let people use as study spaces.

[mecurtin]

It sounds completely emotionally exhausting tbh. Major household repairs just suck at one's energy.

[james]

I am the same way! If I am home alone but I expect someone will come home any moment now, I can't relax the same way as if I know I have exactly one or two or five hours to be alone in. (And zortwife has learned that if she comes home early, I will be grumpy and out of sorts for a bit. Not that I don't love her, but arg, alone time.)

[cimorene]

Yeah I feel that too, although it's not as bad when it's my wife. But sometimes I just don't have the spoons to interact yet.